Name: David Chang.
Age: 45.
Appearance: Dude dispensing annoying advice at a barbecue.
A dude who doesn’t know what he’s talking about? Oh, he certainly does: Chang’s New York restaurant Momofuku Ko has held two Michelin stars since 2009; he’s also an author and the star of various TV series and podcasts. Plus, he once won a million bucks on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
And what is his annoying barbecue advice? That you shouldn’t bother.
That is annoying. What’s he on about? “A backyard burger is an experience that you try to convince yourself that it’s better than it actually is,” he said on his podcast, The Dave Chang Show. “But if you take it out of the context, it’s not that good.”
How would he do it then? Inside, with a frying pan.
But what about the smoky taste? “You would need to cook a burger over charcoal for 12 hours to get that smoky flavour,” he says.
I get the feeling chef Chang has more counterintuitive culinary advice up his sleeve. You’re not wrong – he says you should cook lobster in a microwave.
Sacrilege! “This is definitely gonna piss some people off!!” he writes in a caption for the TikTok video where he demonstrates the technique: lobster tails poached at 50% power for five minutes.
Any other cooking tips seemingly tailored to infuriate? He thinks macaroni cheese is best made in a wok.
What the …? I mean, how would you even … First, he boils the macaroni in the wok until almost all the water has evaporated. Then adds the milk, flour and cheese directly, stirring until the sauce comes together.
The man is clearly a loose cannon. Or a genius. It’s often hard to tell, since he’s fond of gnomic pronouncements, such as this one on salt: “When a dish is perfectly seasoned, it will taste simultaneously like it has too much salt and too little salt.”
I can’t criticise what I don’t understand. Chang also thinks the Instagram generation is too hung up on the look of food. Presentation, he says, is unimportant.
You know what? This guy is beginning to win me over. He also puts fish sauce in bolognese.
No! And let’s not forget he hates barbecuing. Only for burgers, though. “It’s good for chicken, chicken thighs, spatchcock chicken, pork, lamb chops and seafood,” he says.
What about veg? “Corn is clearly the only champion,” he says. “I can’t think of anything else.”
Do say: “Sounds great – can we eat inside as well?”
Don’t say: “Look Dave, I made pizza in a hat!”
