Neah Evans did, she admits, wonder if she’d ever be healthy enough to return to cycling at all, never mind elite-level cycling.
Such was the severity of the illness the 35-year-old has suffered over the past year, she was, at times, doing little more than sleeping and so given her circumstances, it’s unsurprising she doubted she’d ever match the heights she’d previously scaled. Two world titles, two Olympic silvers and half a dozen European titles is, admittedly, an exceptionally high level to attempt to return to and for a time, Evans felt so far away from her previous self who was competing with, and beating, the very best in the world that returning to that level seemed a wholly unrealistic prospect.
However, despite contemplating calling it quits and hanging up her helmet, Evans refused, even in her darkest moments, to make any rash decisions about her future.
“Yes and no, I thought about retiring,” she says.
“My body shut down, effectively, and made it very clear that training and racing was not going to happen so obviously I had those thoughts of, am I ever actually going to get back to a place where I can train? Or is this going to be an enforced retirement? So then I thought, maybe I should just call it now.
“But, ultimately, I still love riding my bike and I still love racing - I’ve always said, when I lose the desire to do it, that's when I'll step away. So, yeah, retiring crossed my mind, but not particularly seriously because I like being an athlete too much.”
One of the most significant challenges of illness in comparison to injury is that the latter, more often than not, has a definite path and timescale for recovery. Illness, has nothing of the sort and so the mental challenge of suffering and then recovering from illness was with an unspecified timescale was, says Evans, not easy.
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“As an athlete, your whole life revolves around training and racing so when that goes, you're like, 'what do I do?’ And I’m not good at having patience, I do not like sitting still.
“For me, there was no recovery plan - it was just wait and see how things develop.
“There was the Commonwealth Games at the back of mind and initially, I was like, "yep, I’ll be fine.' But then I was still not really training and they were getting closer. So it was really tricky mentally, just keeping grounded and reminding myself ‘right, I can only do what I can do’.”
Evans set herself on the road to recovery just in time to ensure selection for Glasgow 2026, where she will be one of the most experienced members of the Scottish cycling squad. With no Katie Archibald in the team - Archibald announced her retirement from professional cycling earlier this year - and with fellow Olympic medallist, Jack Carlin, also having retired, Evans will be viewed very much as the individual who’s spearheading this Scottish squad. While the absence of her longtime friend and teammate, Archibald, a particular loss for Evans, there are few better riders to step up and lead the squad, although Evans is typically modest about the wisdom she can impart to her younger compatriots.
“It's really different not having Katie and Jack here - I've been so fortunate to go to so many major championships with them both, and it's sad to not have them there. They will be missed, and it's just a completely different dynamic,” the Langback native says.
“But it's really nice to see some youngsters coming through and having the opportunity to show what they can do.
“I'm not sure they should be coming to me for wisdom, but it’s nice to be viewed like that because it shows that you have managed to build such a track record that people aspire to some of the processes and traits that you've developed. To be able to impart that is nice, to give back a little bit.
“It also feels weird, though, because, for so long, Katie was such a figurehead that I could kind of go beneath the radar a little bit, which suited me. So this Games i's going to be slightly different and if I can help someone improve their performance, then that's a win.”
While Evans will be occupying the role of mentor to many of her younger Team Scotland teammates in the coming week, she remains laser-focused on doing what she needs to do to perform to her best.
The disruption caused by her illness to her preparation for these Commonwealth Games has, she admits, forced her to reset her targets somewhat but with Commonwealth gold one of the few gaps remaining in her already impressive resumé, she does retain the hope of finally, in her third Commonwealth Games, finally standing atop the podium.
“Before the illness, I definitely felt I had unfinished business, and I really wanted to try and get that gold,” says Evans, who will race the endurance events.
“Now I'm just grateful to have the opportunity to race, and if I race tactically very well, and the luck goes my way, then gold could happen. But I'm probably a little bit more philosophical about the chances of that.
“In some sense, I've got less pressure on myself because I know I haven't had the build that I would normally have. So I can't expect to race at the same standard, but let’s just see how it goes.”
