When it comes to marriage, everyone likes to divide their finances and household responsibilities differently, and as long as both parties are happy with the split, things tend to run smoothly. However, things can become a bit more complicated when there are children involved from a previous marriage, as arguments around responsibilities and co- parenting with someone from a previous relationship can unfold, putting a strain on couples.
One man has been left seething as he claims his wife is refusing to pay 'her fair share' when it comes to his children from another marriage - but the woman does pay for half of the joint household expenses which involve paying for things for the kids from his previous relationship.
Taking to Reddit to explain his point of view, the dad-of-five wrote: "I (M 39) have been married to my wife Stacey (F 30) for five years and we have two children together. I also share three children with my ex wife Hannah (F 37).
"Ever since Stacey and I got together she has made it very clear to me that my three children are mine and Hannah's responsibility, not hers. This has worked out well so far, but lately it has been taking a toll on me.
"I pay Hannah child support every month, ever since Stacey had our first child she has demanded that I give her the same amount of money each month to keep things 'fair'.
"In addition, I have to pay for half of our joint household expenses (ie mortgage, utilities, food) and my own car. Stacey pays for the majority of expenses for our children.
"Here lies the problem. Stacey has never taking issues with having to care for mine and Hannah's children. She picks them up from school, takes them to activities, and ensures they have everything they need.
"However, anytime she purchases anything for them, she immediately sends me a Venmo request and demands I cover all expenses related to children that are 'not hers'.
"We recently went on a family vacation and she demanded that I pay for half of the portion for our children and all of the portion for Hannah's. I told her that all theses expenses are taking a hit in my finances and she didn't seem to care. She reiterated that my children are my responsibility.
Explaining how the rift took another bad turn, the man continued: "To add insult to injury, she recently started contributing money to college funds for her kids, while Hannah and I have nothing saved for our kids' college.
"Hannah found out and asked that I start funds for our kids. When I talked with Stacey about this, she said this was fine, but I had to put the same amount of money in the funds she has set up for our kids.
"I told Stacey I need her to start paying her fair share of expenses around our household. I cannot afford to pay child support, household expenses, and all these miscellaneous expenses that come up for my kids. It wouldn't hurt her financially, as she makes more than me and could easily spare some money.
"Stacey blew up and took our children to her parent's house and I haven't heard from her in a day and a half. Am I the a**hole for demanding that she pay her fair share?"
The man's account has divided opinions on Reddit, as people are trying to decipher how their finances are split. One commenter criticised the dad for claiming that the woman doesn't chip in enough, as they pointed out: "Sounds like she pays for half of the household expenses AND the majority of the expenses related to your shared children".
But another person wrote: "But does Stacey pay those expenses with the 'child support' from her husband, because if so, that doesn’t make him an a*****e".
A third Reddit user weighed in on the debate with this response: "I'm guessing she uses that 'child support' to help with those costs, yes. It honestly sounds kind of like a way to force him to actually contribute financially to his own kids because he doesn't seem willing to do it otherwise, because 'she makes more'. So yeah, he's paying 'child support', aka contributing financially to the children he lives with".
The commenter has insisted that the dad is still in the wrong because he asks his wife to "pay for half of their household, half-ish of their own kids and some portion of his kids with his ex, including vacations and whatever daily costs that come up with them".
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