A mum has admitted she regrets having children saying she is considering adoption but her husband won't let her.
The troubled woman was commenting in a Mumsnet thread about parenting regret and said while she loves her child she "deeply regrets" having him and would like to 'push a button to go back to before'.
The mum said she is seriously considering giving up her parental rights and is weighing up her options.
In her alarming confession she said: "Before I had a child I really believed it was what I wanted. Society doesn't seem to be very honest about the reality of parenting. You just get told how wonderful and life-affirming it is. I've even found myself buying into this.
"A child-free friend asked me if I regretted having a child (they just came out with this question, I don't know why) and I said "no" even though inside I was screaming "yes".
There were other people there at the time and it seemed so taboo to admit I hate being a parent and deeply regret it.
"I do love the child, but I if I had even the slightest clue as to what it was actually like being a parent then I would never have gone ahead. But I did, and I now need to work out what my options are. If I could push a button and go back to 'before' then I would.
"My partner also thinks being a parent is awful but says he doesn't regret it and wouldn't push the button. Parenting is making us both very unhappy though. If it was down to me I would seriously be considering adoption or foster care, but he hates the idea of either.
"So I'm wondering what my options are. The only solution I can see is walking away from my partner because I think we and the child will be less miserable apart than if I stay. Does anyone have any other suggestions? Is it possible to give up your parental rights if the child stays with their other parent, or would the child always legally be mine?"
While her comments were troubling, she wasn't alone as a surprising number of parents admitted they regretted their decision to have children.
One mum, who started the thread said while she knows the subject is "taboo", she 'fessed up that since having a child she has regretted it.
She said: "Is it ever ok to admit you regret having children? (Not to them of course) people say you never regret having a child but aibu to think that isn’t true?
"People say it’s rewarding but it just isn’t, sometimes I wonder what I’m doing wrong to not find it rewarding, I hate being a parent and don’t really enjoy any part of it, I wish I could go back in time."
And surprisingly scores of fellow mums replied to say they felt the same.
Another said: "People do not tell the truth about how hard it is. Simple as that."
Another added: "I do wonder how many women get told they have PND when they are just experiencing regret. It’s difficult because I really do love my DD but I loathe being a parent I find it draining. I have hope that once she’s older the regret will fade."
"People don't tell the truth about most things, I think because so often they are pretending to themselves," said another.
One woman who has no children said comments like these made her sure she had made the right decision. She said: "I’m so glad that I never had children. Was never for me, so I can understand people who weren’t sure, had them and then realised the same!"
Another mum said: "And actually the older they get, the more I regret it...it was easier and nicer when they were little. Teenagers are horrendous and at least with young children they go to bed early so you get some peace in the evenings!"
"Personally I wouldn’t ‘push the button’ to reverse time but it is SO hard. I never wanted children, I was also fairly old to have a baby, but I love her with all my heart. Even though she’s often a pita,
we can’t go spontaneous holidays, nights out etc and probably won’t be able to until I am approaching 60," added another.
But not everyone regretted having their children. One mum said: "Saying that having children is honestly the only thing I don't regret in my life, however pretty much everything else I would change or do completely differently."
Another added: "I don't regret having children and knew I always wanted them. Obviously they aren't for everyone and you don't always realise that until you've had them."
Another mum described parenthood as a 'head f***'. She said: "Yes, pretty much every mum loves their kids...that's why even when they absolutely hate their life, they don't walk away from their DC. You're stuck in a life you hate because you love them so much. It's a total head f***!"
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