Becoming a parent for the first time is a life-changing experience. The mom and dad-to-be spend months frantically preparing for the new member of their family to arrive, while their relatives try to do everything they can to help. But as lovely as it is to have support from your parents during this time, it can be frustrating when they try to take the reins.
One woman recently shared a story on Reddit of how her mother decided she needed to have a gender reveal party during her pregnancy. And instead of accepting the boundaries she set, her mother went through with the event anyway. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This new mom had no plans to publicly reveal her child’s gender
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But her mother was adamant that they needed to throw a party anyway
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Oscar Aragon / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: HmIdkYImHere
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Many people consider gender reveal parties to be problematic
Whether you’re a parent or not, I’m sure you’re familiar with the idea of a gender reveal party. Often, couples surprise their friends and family members by serving cupcakes with either blue or pink frosting in the middle or popping balloons that are filled with blue or pink confetti.
These parties are meant to be joyous celebrations for everyone excited about the new baby. But in recent years, many have been calling out these events for being problematic.
In 2021, a California couple was charged with 30 crimes after a pyrotechnic device at their gender reveal party sparked a massive wildfire that ended up destroying five homes, 23,000 acres of land, 15 buildings and even claimed the life of one firefighter.
And in 2022, a Brazilian couple came under fire for environmental damage after they dyed a 60-foot-tall waterfall blue to announce that they would be having a son. Unfortunately, these are far from the only stories of gender reveal parties gone wrong.
But these celebrations have not only fallen out of public favor because of how over-the-top and dangerous they’ve become. Nowadays, many also take issue with the idea that the body a child is born into can be used to determine their gender.
A 2022 survey from the Pew Research Center found that 38% of Americans believe a person’s gender can be different from the s*x they’re assigned at birth, and 64% favor laws and policies that protect transgender people from discrimination.
There’s no need to impose gender stereotypes on children from birth when there’s always a chance that they’ll grow up and decide that they don’t identify as the gender Mom and Dad placed on them while they were still in the womb. Instead, parents should simply celebrate having a happy, healthy baby. That’s all that really matters.
Image credits: user25451090 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Dealing with a narcissistic parent requires patience and thick skin
Another aspect of this particular situation is how the mother treats her daughter. The author mentions in her post that her mom is narcissistic, which can make a person incredibly difficult to be around. ChoosingTherapy notes on their site that narcissistic individuals often have an inflated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, exploit others for personal gain, lack empathy and have arrogant behaviors and attitudes.
Narcissistic parents, in particular, always need to be the center of attention and often show little concern for anyone else’s thoughts or feelings. They might even use their children for personal gain and can be obsessed with maintaining the family’s image.
Figuring out how to navigate a relationship with a narcissistic parent can be frustrating and exhausting. So ChoosingTherapy recommends accepting their behavior and trying to let it go. No matter how hard they try to gaslight you, resist taking the bait. And remember to show compassion, towards both your parent and yourself.
If you cannot rely on your mother or father, make sure that you have a solid support system of friends or other family members. And don’t be afraid to assert boundaries with them. You may even be able to predict their behavior, if you’ve become familiar with their patterns, which can help minimize drama.
And if the relationship becomes too toxic or painful, it might be time to step away entirely. At the end of the day, your health and wellbeing should come first.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have responded if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family dynamics right here.
Readers were appalled by the mother’s behavior, and the author joined in on the conversation to share more details
