Father Ted and me - our relationship was probably doomed from the start. When the comedy first aired in 1995 on Channel 4, I was living in (Irish) two-channel land, so didn't get to see it for quite a while after some of my friends. In particular, the friend who quoted pretty much the entire first series one night, verbatim, with the result that I'd already heard all the jokes by the time I finally got around to watching it.
Is that why Father Ted has always felt second-hand, uninspired and predictable to me? Maybe. Or maybe it's the fact that the show was – despite the cult status, the awards, the rapturous applause and grandiose claims for its place in the pop culture pantheon – second-hand, uninspired and predictable.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Ted. How can you hate something so, well, mediocre? Even now I could happily sit down and gently chuckle at five minutes of it, although I could just as happily then switch over to that documentary about how a giant tumour ate this lady's baby in Alabama.
Mediocre it was, though. Obviously Father Ted was far funnier than, say, Two and a Half Men – removing your own toenails is funnier than Two and a Half Men – but we're starting from an awfully low base there.
But compared to truly great comedies like The Simpsons, Blackadder, Fawlty Towers (name your own favourite here), Ted was fairly humdrum stuff. There were none of those: "Oh my God, I can't believe someone actually wrote something that incredibly funny," moments where you sit, open-mouthed, almost in shock, almost forgetting to laugh, because it's so clever, so hilarious, so bloody good.
I feel a little strange saying all this, as though I'm transgressing some unwritten national code of honour, because Ted is an Irish cultural institution at this stage, up there with U2 and Roy Keane in a modern-day Holy Trinity. (I know it was funded and first broadcast in the UK, but the actors, writers and sense of humour are Irish.)
It's also become something of an official Industry, capital I, exemplified by the annual Tedfest shindig, held on the Aran Islands off Ireland's west coast. Fans can enjoy a few days of drinking, craic, and games and events based around the Lovely Girls competition, A Song for Europe and other iconic moments from the series.
I'm sure it's all a bit of fun … certainly more fun than the TV show was. But despite the fact that I live only about 20 minutes from the County Clare village of Kilfenora, where some of the 2008 festival took place, I didn't go. I can think of better ways to spend a weekend. Like removing my own toenails, maybe.
And now Tedfest has gone international, with organisers exporting the thing to Australia next year and possibly more countries thereafter. Is it too late to cry halt to the madness? Am I betraying my nationality, the memory of star Dermot Morgan, a desperately poor sense of humour?
Whatever. Enough of the Ted idolisation, please. It was a sort-of amusing collection of outlandish caricatures, quirky catchphrases and semi-decent sight gags that probably outstayed its welcome at the time, and is definitely doing so now.
It's time for Father Ted to receive the last rites.
