• Including the cover, there are four pics of Wolf Hall altogether on the cover of the BBC’s annual report for 2014/15, relatively restrained showing given the helpful coincidence of the Tudor drama having the director general’s name embedded within it. As BBC staffers tot up what is pictured in the report – always a strong sign of management approval, with strenuous efforts to find work to celebrate in every part of the corporation – they may notice something is missing. There are no images of comedy on BBC1, and the nods to BBC3’s Cuckoo, CBBC’s Horrible Histories and BBC2’s The Wrong Mans (though not, noticeably, its award-winning W1A) only add to the brutality of the snub to the main channel’s attempts to be funny.
• With the beleaguered BBC pulling out all the stops to demonstrate its creativity and high artistic standards, it would be a pity if the first classy costume offering to appear after the start of the charter review/consultation process contained exactly the kind of elements that viewers dislike, wouldn’t it? Mumbling, dim lighting and overuse of music are the things that regularly get picked up in feedback or social media (where reaction appears soon after 9pm, allowing anti-BBC papers to incorporate it in “Yet another row” pieces the following morning); and unfortunately Monkey hears that next week’s heavily promoted Life in Squares unfolds in gloom and has a pervasive music soundtrack. At least there’s no Jamaica Inn-style problem with hearing what’s said, because the Bloomsbury group characters are all well-bred and well-spoken; but the fact that they’re so posh is liable to alienate viewers too.
• Perusing the “endnotes” to John Whittingdale’s BBC green paper fascinatingly suggests that the culture secretary’s antipathy towards The Voice is predicated on a single Mail Online article from 2011; a report on the Danny Cohen deal that brought the show to BBC1, which quotes unnamed critics who “questioned why the BBC was spending such a vast sum on a derivative show at a time when it is supposed to be cutting back”. While it is little surprise to find Mail writing Tory policy, Monkey has doubts about the reliability of this source (an awkward presence in these footnotes alongside all the earnest BBC and BBC Trust statements). Were Whittingdale to read the piece in full, he’d discover that it confidently predicts that star judges being lined up for The Voice include Adele, Robbie Williams, George Michael and Cheryl Cole, none of whom have yet to grace its spinning chairs.
• When privately educated Nick Robinson takes over from state-educated Jim Naughtie on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, Monkey’s school-spotter correspondent points out, it will follow naturally from privately educated Mishal Husain replacing state-educated Evan Davis; and leave only John Humphrys to go in the presenter lineup under Wykehamist editor Jamie Angus before those who went to fee-paying establishments achieve a clean sweep. Over in ITV News, meanwhile, something similar is going on: the preference of privately educated editor Geoff Hill for a solo News at Ten anchor means the rise of Sherborne alumnus Tom Bradby at the expense of state-educated Mark Austin and Julie Etchingham.
• For Ed Vaizey, last week began badly with Private Eye revealing that he had mispronounced famous composers’ names in a speech at a gathering of classical musos who had to suppress their smirks. And then it got worse: according to thememo.com, the culture minister wore his ill-fitting digital hat to TechUK’s annual banquet for technology industry leaders, and (“red-faced and speechless”) had to endure a post-supper speech from Alastair Campbell ribbing him not being up to speed in knowhow and having fewer Twitter followers than him. Still worse, the spinner revealed he had found Vaizey’s smartphone charging backstage, and punished him for his sloppy cyber-security by reading out his messages. “Thoroughly enjoyed panic on @edvaizey face last night.... Schoolboy error to charge out of sight,” tweeted Campbell. Founding wanting in both culture and tech, the minister could have been forgiven for playing the New Labour anthem Things Can Only Get Better repeatedly over the weekend.
• Two fascinating facts emerged from Geordie Greig’s interview last week in Campaign, starting with the information that the Old Etonian Mail on Sunday editor has only made a single tweet (just consisting of “I”, an Ed Balls-style fiasco blamed on his kids), which at least is one more than Mail Online boss Martin Clarke, recuperating Mail supremo Paul Dacre and Daily Mail deputy editor Jon Steafel. Also disclosed is that Breakfast with Lucian – Greig’s gossipy book about Lucian Freud, based on his encounters with the priapic painter in the final years of Freud’s life – has been picked up for a film by Harvey Weinstein. Britain’s theatrical knights will be vying to play Freud, but there could be fierce competition to play the former Tatler editor too. Of the many Etonian stars available, Dominic West looks the most plausible contender, being closer in age to Greig (54 now, but still in his 40s when the breakfasting began) than Tom Hiddleston, Eddie Redmayne and others.
