I do wonder whether language itself is becoming redundant, given that so many people seem to converse solely in emojis or emoticons, or whatever the damned things are called. This thought was prompted by a news report headlined “Yats the way to do it as new craze updates your emojis”. Apparently, people, including Paris Hilton, are spending hundreds of thousands of pounds on buying personalised emojis that best represent them online. One company, Yat Labs, in Nashville, has sold 160,000, netting a neat £14.9m in the past year. (Feel free to insert a thumbs-up symbol here if you so wish.) For me, it simply confirms the old saw that a fool and his money are soon parted.
“Etna spews car-sized rocks”, said another headline last week. Experts say it is becoming “increasingly efficient”. What a nice way of putting it. I’d suggest that it’s about to blow a gasket or, as the defence secretary, Ben Wallace, might put it, albeit in another context, that it’s going “full tonto”. Obviously, these volcanologists are a phlegmatic lot. And talking of climatic conditions, I was much taken by a fine example of nominative determinism on my local television news, reporting on a tree surgeon clearing up after Storm Eunice. His name was Bobby Axe.
And what interesting things turn up in the business sections of newspapers. Take the following caption: “Heritage Trimmings’ Rachel Travel examines one of the curtain tie-backs the passementerie make is known for.” Passementerie – decorative trimming, such as tassels, braid and fringing, used on furniture and clothing (eg, military uniforms) – is a completely new word to me and one that I shall treasure. Can’t see when I can bung it into casual conversation, but useful to have up one’s sleeve, just in case.
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
