Taking an Ancestry DNA test can be fun. Learning more about where you came from and who you are is part of your personal history, and everyone deserves to know that. However, sometimes these discoveries can go sideways, and about 27%-40% of users say they’ve discovered something unwanted or “spicy.”
When this man took an Ancestry test at his wife’s whim, he found out some pretty unsettling information. The aftermath was a discovery of new family members and a possible loss of contact with others. Nevertheless, he decided his story needed to be told so that other people would not be afraid of finding out the truth, too.
Bored Panda got in touch with the man who posted this story online, named Andrew. He kindly agreed to share with us how he is approaching his relationships with newly-discovered family members and why his story matters.
A man took an Ancestry DNA test at his wife’s suggestion thinking nothing would really come out of it
Image credits: prostock-studio / freepik (not the actual photo)
But when the results came back, his world was forever changed
Image credits: drinkins / freepik (not the actual photo)
Later, the man was able to find a member of his biological father’s side of the family
Image credits: smarta*s-express
“My biological father seems like a nice man and I get along with my half-brother,” Andrew tells Bored Panda
The man who shared this story on Reddit kindly agreed to have a short chat with Bored Panda. He says that the idea to post it there came to him when a friend suggested he look for a support group online.
“I posted in Ancestry’s subreddit because I couldn’t find a specific sub for my situation. My post got a lot of attention, and I was able to find a support group on Facebook for people who found out their fathers weren’t their biological parents.”
As one can imagine, Andrew’s life has been turned upside down since learning that the man he always thought was his father actually isn’t his dad. “My mother refuses to speak to me and has ignored all my attempts at contacting her,” he adds.
On the flip side, interactions with his newfound family members have been pleasant so far. “My biological father seems like a nice man and I get along with my half-brother,” he tells Bored Panda. However, he still remains cautious. “I am keeping them at arm’s length, though, because I do not know them and I am still trying to process this.”
“I wanted to know who they were,” he goes on. “I did not expect anything from them. I don’t care about money and I certainly don’t want to complicate their lives.”
A family matter like this is very personal in nature. Few people would want to share something online and have it read by thousands of people. However, Andrew doesn’t think that publicity is bad in this case. “I think it’s important to talk about this because it’s a much wider problem than any of us knows.”
Errors in these types of Ancestry DNA tests happen very rarely, according to an expert
Finding a secret brother or cousin sounds like a cheap soap opera plot. However, that’s a reality for many people. While it’s unclear exactly how many people discover siblings or other biological relatives through tests like these, it’s quite common.
At least that’s what the founder of Your DNA Guide, Diahan Southard, told Bored Panda in a previous interview. She also explains that the chance of error in these tests is pretty slim. “DNA matching for close biological relationships is extremely accurate. It is not possible for a lab error to accidentally create a close family member for you.”
“However, there are errors in interpretation of what those numbers mean,” she went on. “For every genetic relationship (that is measured in those numbers of centimorgans), there are multiple genealogy relationships. For example, someone sharing 1384 cMs could be your grandma, your aunt, your half-sibling, or your grandchild. They could even be your first cousin.”
That’s why Southard cautions people not to jump to conclusions before talking to a genealogy expert. “We need to be careful about how we are interpreting the results before we start jumping to conclusions about who did what, when and with whom.”
Even if his “dad” wasn’t his father, they still remain close: “He’s my dad. That won’t change for me”
People in the comments shared similar stories and shared advice on what to do next
