Louis Tomlinson has opened up about how “impossibly difficult” it was to process the death of former One Direction bandmate Liam Payne and marking the band’s anniversary without him.
Payne died tragically last October at the age of 31, after falling from a third-storey hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
The singer shot to fame when One Direction appeared on The X Factor in 2010 and went on to achieve staggering international success alongside bandmates Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, and Tomlinson.
In a cover story interview, Tomlinson talked about dealing with Payne’s loss amid One Direction’s 15th anniversary earlier this year in July.
“It was really uncomfortable, actually, the 15th anniversary, because the [collective] feeling to celebrate is as important, if not more important than ever, on behalf of Liam,” Tomlinson told Rolling Stone UK.
“You know, there’s still a level in my head [where it feels] unjust and frustrating that he’s not with us anymore. So, it just brought up those feelings, although I’m still living with them anyway.”
“It was really, really, impossibly difficult for me to deal with losing Liam,” he continued. “Naively, I thought that because at this point, I’m relatively well versed in grief for my age, that it might soften the blow,” he said, referring to the deaths of his mother Johannah Deakin and sister Félicité Tomlinson in 2016 and 2019 respectively.
“[That was] super-naive. It’s very different. I’ve never lost a friend before.”
After Payne’s death, Tomlinson, along with former bandmates, had shared emotional tributes. He wrote: “I am beyond devastated to be writing this but yesterday I lost a brother. Liam was somebody I looked up to everyday, such a positive, funny, and kind soul.
“I first met Liam when he was 16 and I was 18, I was instantly amazed by his voice but more importantly as time went on I got a chance to see the kind brother I’d longed all my life for.”
Later in the interview, Tomlinson said he believed that Payne was the “safest pair of hands” due to having more experience than the others before they auditioned for The X Factor, the reality television music competition that formed the band.
“We were all just so amateur, but he was already where he needed to be by the time he did his first [X Factor] audition,” he said. “None of us would have admitted it at the time, because you have a lot of pride as a young lad, but we all looked up to him like that.”
“He was just a very misunderstood person, I think, from a public perspective,” Tomlinson added. “If there is ever any judgment on his character, I think nine times out of 10, you can reflect on that, and the reflection is that he was someone who just wanted to be liked.”
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Payne’s sudden death on 16 October 2024, sent shockwaves around the world. An investigation into his death was immediately launched, leading to the arrest of five people, including his friend Rogelio Nores and two hotel employees. While officials ruled out foul play, the circumstances leading up to his fall remained murky.
A toxicology report revealed that the “Strip That Down” singer had cocaine, alcohol, and a prescription antidepressant in his system when he died.
Payne’s funeral was held in Amersham, Buckingham, in November and attended by his family, friends, and former bandmates.
In February, negligence charges against Nores and the two hotel employees were dropped. Two other men, who are alleged to have supplied Payne with the drugs, are still facing prosecution.
