Age: 26.
Appearance: On an ad campaign near you.
Don't you mean an album cover? No, I mean an ad campaign.
But isn't she a musician? She's supposed to be. In her words, she is both "the sonic equivalent of a Vincent Gallo film", and a "gangsta Nancy Sinatra".
How gangsta? She was an alcoholic as a teenager.
And how Sinatra? Her sultry first hit, Video Games, was a YouTube sensation. Reaction to her album Born to Die was more mixed – but it reached No 1 in nearly a dozen countries.
But the ads? You can't keep her out of them.
For instance? For instance, the new Jaguar sports car. She's its metaphorical face, it was announced last week. Promo pics showed her straddling the bonnet.
Very gangsta. Anything else? She's all over billboards as the face of H&M.
And? She's had a new Mulberry handbag named after her.
Gosh. Is there anything she won't endorse? Who knows. She even posed nude for men's mag GQ this summer.
Less musician, more model. Quite. Jaguar describes her as a "unique blend of authenticity and modernity" – but they're presumably either being ironic, or have fundamentally misunderstood the meaning of authentic.
From rebel to rent-a-face – an unexpected reinvention, amirite? Well, yes and no. She has certainly changed – she shot Video Games by herself on a webcam, and now she's in a Jaguar photoshoot. But then again, she's always been the mother of reinvention.
How so? She's actually called Lizzie Grant. And she's not Latina; she's a privileged New Englander.
So where does the whole Lana Del Rey thing come from? It's a stage name. And it's not the first. Previous pseudonyms include May Jailer, and the even more inspired Sparkle Jump Rope Queen.
Golly. Any other identities I should know about? There's quite a sweet one, actually.
Really? Really. She told Vogue she worked in homeless and rehab centres for five years.
Do say: "It's you, it's you, it's all for you."
Don't say: "And by you, I mostly mean The Man."
