There is one joke in King of Thieves, and it’s that the thieves are old. That’s it – that’s the whole movie. Jokes about diabetes, diarrhoea and how, at their age, these retirees deserve a bungalow abound. References to unpeeled bananas and a scene set to Tchaikovsky’s Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy add a swirl of gentle homophobia into the mix.
Based on the true story of the Hatton Garden heist in 2015, James Marsh’s film tells of a group of aged ex-cons, played by Michael Caine, Jim Broadbent, Tom Courtenay and Ray Winstone, who team up with a youngish tech whiz (Charlie Cox) to steal £100m in cash and jewels from a series of safety deposit boxes. The gang also recruitMichael Gambon’s beer-guzzling Billy the Fish as their fence.
There are a few rascally moments, such as Jim Broadbent settingoff roman candles in his back garden, but mostly it’s a staid affair, laden with dragged-outscenes of the gang doing thejob. Not even Benjamin Wallfisch’s jaunty score can keep things moving.
