The year: 1954. The scene: a US military base. Marilyn Monroe puts on a bomber jacket and gives a morale-boosting concert to troops demoralised by the fag-end of the Korean War. Fast forward to the present day, as it emerges we're sending Jessica Simpson to Kuwait. This is what we call "the changing face of conflict", because calling it "sending out the dregs" sounds disrespectful to the troops, who we already bill for their helmets if they lose them in the course of being blown up.
"It's truly an honor to perform for the troops," Jessica explains. "Through Operation MySpace, I get to serve my country by doing what I love to do in front of thousands of brave men in uniform. It's every girl's dream!"
Mm. Incidentally, speaking of someone else with such palpable father issues: whatever happened to Lohan's planned visit to Iraq? Can we please get a departure date on that one, people?
