Throughout Jason Kerr’s career, there have been many highs, and the odd low. The triumphs – the scarcely believable cup double season with St Johnstone, when he lifted both the League Cup and Scottish Cup as captain, the League One title with Wigan Athletic – have meant a great deal to him. But there was an itch that still needed to be scratched.
At 29, Kerr would have been forgiven for thinking that the opportunity may never arise to pull on the green and white jersey of his boyhood heroes. In fact, so content was he with his life and the level he was operating at with the Latics, a move back to Scotland had been pushed to the back of his mind.
Unless, of course, one club came calling.
As any Hibee worth their salt knows, sometimes in life, you have to persevere. And finally, this summer, the stars aligned. Kerr had the chance to come home, back to the place where he first caught the football bug as a kid on the terraces. This week, at last, he had the opportunity to pull on that famous shirt for the first time not as a Hibs supporter, but as a Hibs player.
It was a moment, you suspect, that was at least the equal as any other he has experienced in the game, even when held up against his impressive medal haul.
These are early days in the season of course for both Hibs and Kerr, who would have simply been relieved to play his part in turning around their first leg deficit to KF Malisheva in his debut appearance on Thursday night. There is more to his ambition this term though than avoiding embarrassment, and he believes there is more than enough in this team to replicate the sort of glory days at Hampden he experienced with St Johnstone.
The one thing missing from those two occasions though was, of course, their supporters, with Covid restrictions meaning Callum Davidson’s men lifted both domestic trophies in front of an empty national stadium.
It would be unsurprising if during those moments, Kerr’s mind drifted to the sort of scenes that took place in that very stadium just a few years earlier, when Hibs’ long, long wait to lift the Scottish Cup finally came to an end, and arguably the most emotional rendition of ‘Sunshine on Leith’ in history rang around the old bowl.
Regrettably, football commitments elsewhere meant Kerr missed out on the celebrations that day too, but innumerable viewings on YouTube in the years since have made him all the more determined to experience such a moment for himself, but this time, with the fans, and with the Hibs crest proudly on his chest.
"I wasn’t there,” Kerr said, barely hiding a grimace.
“I wish I could have been, but I had something to do with football at that time, or I would have been there. Unfortunately, I missed that game, but I got to watch it later on and celebrate with my Hibs friends, so that was good.
"That was probably the best rendition of ‘Sunshine on Leith’ ever with half the stadium singing it. It was incredible. Being a Hibs player at that point must have been unbelievable.
“It is a weird feeling playing for the club you support. I am used to being in the stands or playing against them. To be wearing the top and being at the training ground and the stadium is different, but I am enjoying it.
"It would be incredible [to win a trophy here], being a Hibs fan as well. It would be a surreal feeling with all my mates and family in the stands, not only supporting me but supporting the club. It would be a big dream come true for that to happen.
“For any player in this club, it would be a dream come true; it is something we all strive for.
"I really wanted to go down south and play in England and be there as long as possible. The only reason I would come back to Scotland was for Hibs. Luckily enough, I got the phone call from [assistant manager] Liam Craig and I could come up. It was only Hibs that I was going to come back for.
“We want to finish in the top six, but it is not easy. That is one of our aims, along with qualifying for Europe and doing as well as we can in the trophies. That should be the aim for a Hibs side every season."
There is also more to Kerr’s and Hibs’ ambition than simply taking some of the spotlight off of Hearts this season, though he admits that it wasn’t easy being part of a large friend group that is split between the two Edinburgh rivals as Derek McInnes’s men came within a few minutes of winning the Premiership title in May.
"I’ve got a few Hearts mates, and they were getting a bit ahead of themselves at the time!” he laughed.
“Fortunately enough, Celtic saved me in the end, because I gave them a lot of stick! It was tough watching them having such a good season, but hopefully this season we can have a good one."
On the Hibs side of the camp, are not just many of his friend group, but his family too, which brings its own pressures. Not least of all when it comes to ticket requests.
“Most of my family live up here, so I live about 20, 25 minutes away now,” he said.
“It is good to see them and all my friends. That is what was missing when I was down south; I didn’t get to see them much, so it feels a lot better.
“All my family supported Hibs. I had a season ticket when I was a lot younger, so we used to go all the time whenever we got a chance. They were nervous [before the Malisheva game]. But they would have been buzzing to watch me coming into the game and seeing me wearing the Hibs top.
“It was a dream of mine, and I’m sure it was a dream of a lot of my family to watch that. They will have been really excited for it, as was I. I couldn’t wait for that day.
“All my friends when I was at school, most of them supported Hibs too, so it was something I have always done. Strangely enough, we actually are all still in touch; we have a big group chat. Normally when you get a bit older you grow apart, but we’ve always been pretty close. There is a lot of pressure coming from them whenever Hibs are playing, so I need to play well every week.
“There is going to be a lot of tickets needed. I am going to try my best to facilitate everyone, but it won’t be easy."
What also comes with the territory of supporting the team you are playing for, and therefore having friends who do, is that you are acutely aware of the moans, groans and grumbles among the fanbase. And there were unmistakable murmurs of discontent, to put it mildly, towards Hibs manager David Gray following the defeat in Kosovo last week.
Gray does, of course, enjoy legendary status at Easter Road, having scored the winning goal on that famous day back in 2016 that Kerr so dearly wishes he could have been a part of. But it is fair to say that the Hibs gaffer still has a few people to convince that he is the correct man for the Easter Road dugout, despite ultimately turning around that Conference League qualifying tie.
Kerr, though, isn’t among them.
"He’s had two successful seasons at the club,” he said.
“Him being in charge and Liam Craig being assistant - I’ve played with him - were huge parts of me coming up the road. He is a really good manager.
“We have a lot of quality in the training ground, and we are going to show that. That [first leg] wasn’t a representation of us. All we can do is try harder and get better.
“We want to do as well as we can, be as high up the league as possible, and do well in this European competition. That is what we have our eyes set on."
That, and some silverware, of course. Kerr may already be living out his boyhood fantasy, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still dream.
