CHENNAI: Festivity is in the air, on the roads, and in Facebook posts. The end of the year is usually a time to celebrate as people prepare to ring out the old and ring in the new. But for some, especially those who are battling some kind of adversity – be it sickness, financial loss, or loss of a loved one – the festive season brings increased feelings of anxiety and stress, otherwise known as ‘holiday blues’.
"You want to be with other people during festive occasions, very few enjoy being alone. And when you see everyone around happy and jolly and you cannot feel it, you feel you will ruin the occasion for others also," says psychiatrist Dr N Rangarajan. "Some may go hang out with others and feel morose, others may isolate themselves, and some may feel suicidal or drink heavily."
That’s because they may feel they have nothing to look forward to. "Everyone is celebrating the birth of a new year and looking forward to something nice happening, and you may be feeling hopeless," says Dr Rangarajan. "You may have a negative perception of yourself, your future and your environment, which is the cognitive triad of depression."
That’s why some people approach mental health professionals for help. "They will fix an appointment at the end of the year. We encourage them, ask them to reach out to friends, and warn them not to get drunk when in a depressed mood. Some may need a mild sedative to help them sleep," he says.
Nelson Vinod Moses, founder and director of Suicide Prevention India Foundation (SPIF) says the festivities around them may remind people of the lack of financial resources, families or lack of opportunities to spend time with others. “Sometimes they miss those who are not with them ---- families or friends.
That’s why he encourages people to check on those who live alone, who have been recently separated, divorced, lost a job or have someone pass away, those who are sick, have been depressed or have had a recent crisis. "Invite them for a meal, share a cup of coffee, give them a call, send them a text or buy them a gift. Let them know that they are being thought of and they matter and that you care," says Moses.
You can also watch out for signs of distress, which can range from feeling depressed, to increased substance abuse, weight gain or loss, lack of or excessive sleep, talk of death or dying by suicide.
And if you are the person who is feeling blue, Moses has some tips. "It is important to understand that emotional distress is a part of human life and sometimes the challenges far outweigh our ability to cope. Reach out for help – friends, family, neighbours, your running group or anyone else. Seek professional help from a therapist, psychiatrist or call a helpline. Do some self-soothing exercises like deep breathing, yoga, meditation or going for a walk," says Moses.
You can also enjoy this time alone and prepare for the year ahead by planning to incorporate new habits and positive thinking and being more disciplined about things that matter like mental health, financial independence, and physical health, he adds. “Learn how you can make new friends by joining a gym, music class, or running club. Lastly, turn off social media because it can be triggering,” says Moses.
Psychologist Mini Rao also urges people not to “overshare” on social media. “End of the year, people are partying and holidaying but there are less blessed people who are taking stock of the bad things that have happened to them. People feel emotionally vulnerable if they don’t have the support of family and friends,” she says, adding that she has counselled many such people.
“So be considerate, empathetic, check on family and friends. If someone has been going through social isolation for a couple of weeks or more, reach out to them. And use the festive season to gift your domestic staff and others. That way you can help them without embarrassing them,” says Mini.
