Riding through the southern fringes of the city of Worcester a couple of days ago, I passed a sign with an arrow pointing in the direction of Bennetts Willow Barn – “possibly the best farm cafe in Lower Wick”. Nice, that. Very British somehow, this kind of tongue-in-cheek modesty. I liked it so much that I’ve made the hour-long motorbike journey back out here to write this. The tea is good, the welcome warm and the sandwich substantial. It is indeed the best farm cafe in Lower Wick – there is no “possibly” about it, because, as I suspected, it is the only farm cafe in Lower Wick.
In this era of relentless, irony-free, fact-free boastfulness, a lesser establishment might have shouted about being the best cafe in Worcester, Worcestershire or all of merrie England. So this was refreshing to see. A good 20 years ago, I drove past a sign outside a pub near Warwick promising “crap beer, terrible food, unfriendly service”. I’ve always regretted not popping in to pay tribute to the management.
Another, less knowing example of this kind of thing that has long charmed me is the sign for Monmouth golf club on the A40 just outside the town. It says, in quotation marks, that it is “arguably the prettiest course in Wales”. The “arguably” is doing a lot of honourable work there. It’s not clear who is being quoted – it may be the club itself – but a lesser establishment would have left the “arguably” out, removing all doubt from the question. Respect.
Sometimes, a boast is so deliciously odd that it’s not clear whether or not there is irony at play. There is a sex shop in central London the sign of which boasts: “The only 2 storey Adult Shop in Soho!” I’ve walked past this place a hundred times and always wondered about this. Is it true? Does it matter? I’ve never worked up the courage to go in to ask.
Now, I’ve ridden through the northern fringes of Worcester and chanced upon another wry sign, this one for an art gallery. It reads: “Last Gallery Before M5”. I like its style. This is a place called the Bevere Gallery. Assuming its art is as good as its signage, I’ll be back for a look.
• Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist
