Theatre’s equivalent of slowly being smothered to death by an oversized, glittery, woolly Christmas jumper knitted for you by an elderly but misguided great aunt, this stage version of the 1954 movie – which starred Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye – takes up temporary London residence for the first time. This production has previously toured extensively throughout the UK.
It liberally sprinkles snowflakes and cosiness and throws in an explosion of song and high-energy hoofing. The stage is so awash with syrupy sentiment that you fear somebody might slip and take a tumble. This is less a white Christmas than a very slushy one, and with a 2hr 45m running time, there are moments when you doubt that it really will be all over by 25 December.
It’s 1954. Ten years ago Bob (Aled Jones, who seems to be making a career out of Christmas-related gigs) and Phil (former Strictly star Tom Chambers) entertained their division on the European front on Christmas Eve, much to the approval of the beloved General Waverly (Graham Cole). Now they are a successful double act, regularly appearing on the Ed Sullivan show. When they pursue a pair of female entertainers – Betty (Rachel Stanley) and Judy (Louise Bowden) – to Vermont, they have romance and snowy festivities on their minds. But Vermont is in the middle of a heat wave, the path of true love never did run smooth and the inn where they end up is run by the by now down-on-his-luck General. So hey, guess what they do? Put on a show in the barn!
The good things are Irving Berlin’s songs, including several absent from the movie, such as the 1926 Blue Skies (clearly keeping the weather-related theme), some really lively Astaire and Rogers-style dance sequences, and an ensemble who seize every opportunity to sing their hearts out, demonstrate impressive dance skills and flash their cosmetic dentistry. My teeth ached just watching.
The things that could be seen either as positives or negatives, depending on your point of view, are the cute kid with jazz hands, dozens of costume and set changes, and the opportunity to wallow in uncomplicated good cheer with a large side helping of nostalgia. The show revels sincerely and entirely without irony in the lost innocence and wholesomeness of 1950s America.
David Ives and Paul Blake, who wrote the book for the stage show, appear to have been entirely untroubled by issues of momentum and plot clarity. I’ve watched weather forecasts with more narrative drive. The script plods along like a dutiful but hobbled reindeer. It lacks sharpness and sparkle and mistakes mild bonhomie for comedy. Aled Jones sings beautifully but makes decency seem awfully dull, and Tom Chambers is suave but oddly charmless. Together they exude all the appeal of a reheated Christmas pudding. Over-blown, over bland and over here until the New Year.
• Until 3 January. Box office: 0845 2007 982. Dominion, London
• This article was amended on 14 November 2014, to remove the statement that Aled Jones was the original singer of Walking in the Air – it was Peter Auty.
