On Tuesday morning (July 7), Jamey Carney’s battered body was found underneath a duvet in her bedroom by her 13-year-old daughter in the Irish town of Killarney.
Carney, who worked at a healthcare consulting company, had moved with her daughter from Westchester County, New York, to Ireland in 2021.
According to The Post, the main suspect in her slaying is her boyfriend, a Middle Eastern man identified as Ahmad Alsaqer, who is believed to have fled Ireland after the crime.
A New York mother who moved to Ireland in search of a better life was found lifeless in her home
Image credits: carney_jamey/Instagram
Trigger warning: This article contains descriptions of violence that may be distressing to some readers.
Neighbors reportedly heard a loud argument coming from Carney’s rented home on Monday, hours before her body was discovered.
Police believe that the New York native was fatally attacked in a fit of jealous rage.
She and the 28-year-old suspect reportedly met at a pro-Palestinian rally in Ireland a year and a half ago.
The 43-year-old mother suffered multiple wounds to her head and was initially believed to have lost her life as a result of the beating.
However, according to The Irish Times, a postmortem examination revealed that while Carney was the victim of an a*sault and suffered head injuries, the cause of her passing was suffocation.
Investigators believe the suspect caught an early-morning bus from Killarney to Dublin Airport before boarding a flight to Turkey. He is believed to have already been on the flight hours before Carney’s body was discovered.
Authorities are working with Interpol to locate the suspect, the victim’s boyfriend, Ahmad Alsaqer
Image credits: carney_jamey/Instagram
Irish police have requested assistance from both Europol and Interpol as they try to establish whether Alsaqer boarded a connecting flight from Istanbul to another country in the Middle East or remains in Turkey.
The man is understood to have extensive contacts in the region, including in Syria and Jordan. He is fluent in Arabic, French, and English.
It is unclear how Alsaqer could have fled Ireland as he reportedly would not have had access to his passport due to his pending asylum application, per The Post.
The suspect sought asylum after arriving in Ireland in 2024 and had been living in an IPAS (International Protection Accommodation Services) center.
Carney’s cousin Ryan Fox said the victim, a third-generation Irish-American, “was looking for a beautiful country with like-minded people to raise her daughter.”
Jamey Carney’s cousin described her as a devoted mother who had a “heart of gold”
Image credits: carney_jamey/Instagram
He said the mother had “a heart of gold” and “worked as hard as she could to offer everything to her beautiful daughter.”
Carney’s mother and sister have traveled from the US to Ireland to be with the 13-year-old girl.
Fox said he never received any message from Carney in which she expressed fear for her safety and if he had, he “would have done whatever was in my power to protect her.”
Referring to the suspect, he asked people “not use this to become bigoted or racist or prejudiced in any way.”
Fox said his cousin “was taken from the people that love her and we’re all going to do everything in our power to make sure that this doesn’t happen to more people because nobody, nobody deserves this.”
Locals in Killarney said Carney was proud of her Irish ancestry and was active in local sports and heritage groups. She had worked in Tralee for RelateCare for the last four and a half years.
The community rallied to support the victim’s 13-year-old daughter, who discovered her mother’s body
Image credits: Jamey Carney/Facebook
Killarney councillor Martin Grady, who was a friend of Carney, called the crime “an appalling tragedy.” He described the victim as a “loving, caring mother” who was “always happy and smiling.”
Eoin Brosnan, the chairman of Dr Crokes GAA football club, told Radio Kerry that the club will provide support to her family.
“There’s definitely been a dark cloud over Killarney in the past couple of days,” he said. Brosnan also said his thoughts were with the 13-year-old girl, who played underage football for the club and has been “an integral part” of the community.
High school friends of Carney have started a GoFundMe page to raise money for her daughter’s future expenses.
In addition to analyzing forensic evidence from Carney’s house, investigators are examining CCTV footage from various locations along Muckross Road, where the victim and her daughter lived, as well as surveillance footage from other parts of Killarney.
Image credits: GoFundMe
They have also contacted telecommunications companies to examine the man’s mobile phone activity and establish his movements at the time of the incident and afterward.
Regarding DNA evidence, technical experts explained that the fact that the suspect frequently visited the victim’s home could complicate this aspect of the investigation.
“It would be different if he was an intruder or had never been there before – he might be struggling to explain his DNA in that scenario,” a source told The Irish Times.
Investigators are reviewing CCTV footage, phone records, and forensic evidence
Image credits: carney_jamey/Instagram
Irish politician Ivana Bacik said violence against women has become an “epidemic.”
“It’s become a cliché to describe violence against women as an epidemic and fatal violence against women as femicide, but that’s the reality,” she stated.
Politicians and women’s advocacy groups said the crime highlights Ireland’s ongoing “epidemic” of violence against women
Image credits: carney_jamey/Instagram
The Labour leader noted that nearly 90% of crimes against women were committed by men who knew them, with Ireland’s housing crisis “trapping women and children in violent homes.”
The National Women’s Council of Ireland added, “Our hearts are so heavy this morning as we mourn the d*ath of Jamey Carney, another woman k*lled in violent circumstances on our island.
”We extend our deepest sympathies to her friends, family and wider community at this unimaginably difficult time. Women everywhere deserve to live free from fear and violence.”
Carney had applied for Irish citizenship and had plans to start her own business.
A number of flower bouquets were left at her rented residence following the tragedy.
Anyone with information about the case is asked to contact Killarney Garda station on 064-6671160.
People were horrified by the case that took place in the town of Killarney
Being called names or humiliated during intimacy might sound upsetting to some people, but psychologists said it is more common than many realize.
Consensual degradation is a recognized part of B*SM, and experts said it is often misunderstood.
While many assume people who enjoy it have low self-esteem or secretly believe the insults directed at them, psychologists, s*x therapists, and academic researchers said there is no single explanation.
Instead, studies have linked these fantasies to power dynamics, trust, emotional release, and temporarily stepping away from everyday pressures.
Researchers revealed degradation kinks often involve power, trust, and escaping everyday pressure
One of the best-known explanations comes from social psychologist Dr. Roy Baumeister, whose research on “escape from self-awareness” suggested that some people seek experiences that allow them to temporarily stop focusing on themselves and their responsibilities.
According to Baumeister, activities involving submission or humiliation may provide a temporary break from constant self-monitoring and decision-making.
Rather than reinforcing negative beliefs, they may allow some individuals to step away from everyday pressures in a consensual setting.
Licensed social worker and kink-positive therapist Rebecca Jay said degradation also falls within the broader dynamics of dominance and submission.
“The exchange of control is the actual point,” she explained to Elite Daily.
Jay added that consensual degradation is different from real-life humiliation because it happens within agreed boundaries.
“E*otic humiliation can help partners feel more connected, especially if their scene inspires giggles or requires a deeper level of trust,” she said.
Professional humiliatrix Betty Pickles offered a similar explanation while describing why some people enjoy the emotional intensity.
“It’s the same kind of anxiety rush you get from going on a roller coaster—sort of awful, but you love it,” she told StyleCaster.
Academic research also suggested the practice is not uncommon within B*SM communities.
A Finnish study titled Varieties of S*xual Preference: Associations Between Gender, S*xual Orientation, B*SM Identity and Interests, which surveyed 184 B*SM practitioners, found that around 70% had recently taken part in verbal humiliation during B*SM activities.
Meanwhile, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want, surveyed and reported that roughly one-third of people with sa*omasochistic experience had engaged in verbal degradation.
Several users online discussed the topic widely and shared different reasons for why degradation appeals to them
One commenter wrote that the experience was not about believing insults but about acceptance.
“Let’s say that you have a part of you that you are extremely ashamed of,” the user wrote.
“Now imagine setting up a degradation scene where another person sees all of your flaws, confronts you with them, and yet doesn’t reject you.”
The commenter continued, “If they accept all of your flaws, then they accept you unconditionally: ‘Even though you are [insert insult here], I still love you anyway.'”
Several people replied, saying the explanation matched their own experiences.
@drsarahashton Why do some people feel aroused by degradation in the bedroom? This is one of those topics many people feel curious — and sometimes conflicted — about, but rarely talk about openly. From a neurobiological perspective, sexual arousal is closely linked to systems involved in emotional intensity, risk, and reward. The brain doesn’t simply respond to “pleasure”; it responds to meaning, activation, and salience. Psychologically, degradation in consensual sexual contexts is often not about wanting harm or disrespect. It can symbolise surrender, vulnerability, being deeply desired, or transforming shame into agency and choice. Fantasy speaks the language of emotion and symbolism — not literal real-world wishes. Understanding sexuality through a psychological lens helps move us away from shame and toward curiosity. Consensual dynamics are always grounded in communication, trust, and safety. ✨ When we understand the brain and nervous system, many sexual experiences start to make much more sense.#psychology #trauma #sex #kink ♬ original sound – Dr Sarah Ashton, PhD
“I’ve a serious degradation kink. And you put this into perspective quite perfectly! This is EXACTLY what it is!” one user responded.
Others said their experiences were different.
“It heals nothing. It’s absolutely a coping mechanism,” another commenter wrote, adding that therapy helped them connect the fantasy to childhood trauma and feelings of shame.
Some people also linked their experiences to growing up in strict religious environments.
“I’m an ex-Mormon, and this is very true for me,” one person shared. “Growing up in a conservative religion with heaping doses of s*xual shame led to years of s*xual frustration.”
Although degradation involves harsh language, s*x therapists shared consent and communication are the most crucial factors
AASECT-certified s*x therapist Rufus Spann, Ph.D. and founder of Libido Health, told Men’s Health that many misconceptions come from the way B*SM is portrayed in movies and television, where conversations about consent are often left out.
Licensed psychotherapist and certified s*x educator Rachel Wright recommend that couples openly discuss their interests before trying any form of degradation play.
That includes agreeing on which words or actions are acceptable, setting boundaries, and deciding on safe words that either partner can use to stop the scene immediately.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a Ph.D. social psychologist and research fellow at The Kinsey Institute, has also said that what one person experiences as degrading may not feel the same to someone else.
Because of that, therapists encourage couples not to rely on assumptions and instead discuss specific preferences beforehand.
Jay similarly advised partners to clearly separate consensual role-play from anything that could cause genuine emotional harm.
Furthermore, researchers shared that there is still no single explanation for why these fantasies develop
Image credits: AC/Unsplash (not an actual photo)
Although psychologists have proposed several theories, researchers continue to emphasize that degradation fantasies cannot be explained by one cause alone.
Baumeister’s escape from self-awareness theory focuses on relief from everyday responsibility.
Research summarized by Dr. Lehmiller highlighted the role of consensual power exchange within B*SM.
Clinical therapists such as Jay, Wright, and Spann focus on communication, trust, and negotiated consent as central parts of the experience.
Meanwhile, netizens’ comments described different motivations, ranging from emotional release to acceptance, curiosity, or personal exploration.
People shared their varying opinion on degradation fantasies
