Manchester’s Northern Quarter is well known for its diverse selection of quirky cafes and interesting places to eat, and one more just joined the list. The new Shudehill haunt has been raising a few eyebrows for not just its name, but its ‘rude’ waffles, too.
The venue, aptly called ‘Mr Dick’, is the ‘first sexy coffee shop’ in Manchester, and has already earned nearly 4,500 Instagram followers, despite only opening last week.
While Thursday, Friday and the weekend saw some huge queues for the store, it was a little quieter when I arrived at midday on Wednesday, just as the doors opened.
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Inside, the seating area is small, with three booths for around four people each, and a handful of seats at the front. Without looking at the erect decorated waffles on the counter, you’d say it was like any other Instagram-worthy café in Manchester, with pink floral decor, neon lights and delicious looking toppings.
“Would you like a willy or pussy?” I must say, it’s the first time I’ve ever been asked that question, and it rather took me aback. I knew what I was letting myself in for, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit prude. “Erm, a willy waffle, please.”
Once you’ve selected your X-rated waffle, which is made in a specially moulded waffle iron, you can choose from a selection of six dipping chocolates, including white, milk, dark, strawberry, gold and green - though I’d be a little worried if that was modelled on a real-life one.
I opted to have my penis-shaped pastry dunked in strawberry flavoured pink chocolate, drizzled in gold caramel chocolate. Luckily, they’re served in a handy pink box so your chocolate doesn’t drip everywhere, else it’d be a rather messy affair.
Then onto toppings, which include Oreos, Lotus Biscoff, hazelnuts, gold and ruby crunch, while ‘extras’ involve flakes, Smarties and mini strawberry meringues. I went for a mix of hundreds and thousands and crunchy Biscoff pieces, making my crude dessert rather decorative. What’s nice I suppose is that you can put your own stamp on your creation, making each dessert a one-of-a-kind.
The waffles cost £8.50 each, regardless of if you pick a penis or a vulva, and are ready in a matter of minutes. I won’t lie, I was glad the café was quiet when I took my first bite. It’s bad enough making accidental eye contact with a stranger while eating a banana, let alone a deliberately phallic culinary creation.
It was rather delicious, actually. It’s hard to get waffles right, I’ve found, and these ones are soft, doughy and really quite moreish. I’m almost embarrassed to say I wasn’t able to eat it all, though, because as tasty as the chocolate coated dessert was, I found it a little sickly by the time I’d got towards the end.
There’s actually a ruler on the side of the box, and of the 17 centimetres of waffle, I’d managed around 13cm - perhaps a few inches too long.
The novelty coffee shop is just a bit of fun, really. While their waffles are somewhat graphic, they’re by no means obscene or offensive, and are really quite a laugh. It’s almost like having a slice of Blackpool here in Manchester.
As well as penis and vulva waffles, the cafe also offers a range of coffees, milkshakes and cold drinks, and is open every day from midday. Mr Dick is located at 93-95 Shudehill, M4 4AN.
For more places to eat and drink in Greater Manchester, click here
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