For one Redditor, the family home isn't just a house — it's the result of decades of sacrifice. After losing her dad three years ago, she explained that her mom is all she has left. Her biggest fear? That the home her parents "worked so hard to have" could slip away if her mom ends up in a nursing home.
"My concern is this, she's 64 and will be 65 this November and will soon be in Medicare. The house still needs like 10-15 more years to pay off the mortgage," she wrote. "Say in the future, she is placed in a nursing home and then passes away. Are there laws in Connecticut that would let Medicare take the house?"
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She admitted she hated even thinking about it, calling the topic "morbid," but felt it was important after watching the chaos when her father passed without life insurance. "I want to have everything set up right for the 3 of us," she said, referencing herself, her mom, and her brother.
The responses poured in, and many clarified an important point right away: it isn't Medicare she needs to worry about, but Medicaid. "Medicare will never take the home. Medicaid will place a lien on the house when your mom starts receiving benefits, but they can't collect on that while she's alive," one person explained. "After she passes they can collect on their lien, basically recouping their money, which may force a sale unless you can pay it off in cash."
Others chimed in with additional warnings. One commenter explained that Connecticut Medicaid has a five-year "lookback" period to check for transfers of property or gifts before someone enters a nursing home. If the state finds assets were shifted to family during that time, it can trigger penalties. Another advised bluntly that long-term care insurance was probably "far too late" and would now be too expensive.
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Several Redditors urged the poster to consult an elder law attorney, pointing out that planning early is critical. "Your mom should consult an elder law/estate planning attorney ASAP," one wrote. Another added, "Be very careful about following online advice to have Mom deed the house to you tomorrow or something like that." The consensus was that moving a house into a trust — at least five years before Medicaid is needed — is one of the most reliable ways to protect family property.
Others offered personal stories that highlighted what can happen when families wait too long. One commenter recalled how their aunt refused to transfer her house before entering hospice. In the end, the home was sold off to cover costs and debts, leaving the family empty-handed. "It was a nightmare," they wrote.
So was the advice right? In Connecticut, yes — Reddit largely got it correct. Medicare does not cover long-term nursing home care beyond short rehab stays, and it never takes houses. Medicaid, however, is means-tested, and the state does have the right to recover costs from estates after someone passes. That often means placing a lien on a home and collecting later, unless proper planning shields it.
But the rules vary dramatically depending on the state. In Connecticut, as in most places, the Medicaid Estate Recovery Program can seek reimbursement after death. However, some states provide exemptions. For example, if an adult child has been living in the home and serving as a caregiver for a set period — often at least two years — the house may be shielded from recovery. Other states carve out protections for surviving spouses, disabled children, or siblings who co-owned the property.
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Meanwhile, a handful of states, like California, have narrowed their recovery laws in recent years, limiting them only to assets that pass through probate rather than sweeping in everything a person owned. In practice, that means setting up a trust or using transfer-on-death deeds can keep a home safe in some jurisdictions.
This patchwork of rules highlights why a one-size-fits-all answer doesn't work. What protects a home in Connecticut might not fly in Texas or New York, and strategies that are legal in California could fail in Florida. The only consistent advice experts give is to start planning early — ideally with both an elder law attorney and a financial advisor who understand state-specific rules.
For many families, the house is the most valuable asset they have, and more than that, it's a symbol of the work their parents put in. Nobody wants to see it lost to bureaucracy. The Redditor summed it up best: it's about "making sure everything is set up right" so that a family home, built through years of hard work, doesn't become just another line item in the state's recovery ledger.
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