A woman who vowed to have a sperm donor baby by herself if she was still single at 38 has welcomed a baby boy. Kate McElroy, 39, had always wanted to be a mum and decided if she was still single by her 38th birthday she would go it alone.
She contacted Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine (BCRM) to find out about trying and have a baby via sperm donor. She underwent her first round of intrauterine insemination (IUI) - where sperm is injected directly into the womb - to conceive in February 2022 and fell pregnant on her fourth round.
The treatment cost £10k and Kate used her savings to pay for it. Her little boy, Joshua, was born on June 7, 2023, weighing 6lbs 4oz at Gloucester Royal Hospital, Gloucester.
Kate is "loving every minute of parenthood" and said she would "do it all over again". Kate, senior marketing manager, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, said: “I’d always known I wanted a child of my own - so when I found myself without a suitable partner in my mid-thirties, I had a fertility check to ensure I hadn’t already left it too late.
"At that time a friend suggested I consider going it alone, but back then it didn’t feel right. However, when my 37th birthday arrived, I promised myself that if I was still single in July 2021, when I turned 38, I would go for it.
“I come from a huge family - my dad, Gerard, 69, is one of 12, - so I’ve got lots of cousins and I’ve always loved babies. I have a very close relationship with my mum, Norma, 69 - who lives nearby - and my sister Clare, 37, who lives in Basingstoke.
"Both of them understood how much I wanted a baby and they’re incredibly supportive. Unfortunately, life was still very much affected by Covid restrictions when my 38th birthday rolled around, but by the following year, things were better.
"Nevertheless, it took me until October to summon up the courage to get things started." As Kate was paying for the treatment on her own, she decided to opt for IUI as a cheaper alternative to IVF - one cycle of IUI is typically a quarter of the price of one IVF cycle.
Kate went for a body "MOT" - which included a scan to check her fallopian tubes were functioning normally - before contacting the clinic and starting her journey to motherhood. She said: "The nurse I saw, Fiona Pringle, was brilliant and supported me throughout my entire fertility treatment.
"Actually, everyone I saw throughout my fertility treatment was amazing. The procedure for IUI feels a bit like having a smear test done.
"It simply involves having the sperm injected into your uterus via the vagina through a straw. A whole vial is used for each treatment – emulating nature, if you like.
“By contrast, if I’d opted for IVF, one vial of sperm would have served for many cycles of treatment if necessary. IVF is actually a more reliable way of getting pregnant too, however the other elements of IVF treatment mean it works out dearer than IUI.
“All the indications were that IUI should allow me to conceive, so after discussing it all with my consultant I booked in for my first cycle." A report by fertility watchdog the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) revealed a surge in the number of women choosing to become solo mums - with 44 per cent more seeking fertility treatment in 2021 than in 2019.
Kate had her first round of IUI in February 2022 but sadly didn't fall pregnant. She then went for a second round at Easter and conceived but sadly at the seven-week scan, there was no heartbeat.
Kate said: "This isn’t uncommon but it’s not something that’s discussed much and emotionally it’s quite a hard thing for a woman to go through. It was July when my periods started again so I had a third round of treatment but that didn’t work.
“Then, in September, round four resulted in my lovely Joshua. So, I had four rounds of IUI in total - two pregnancies, one baby."
Kate said she felt anxious about the pregnancy after the first loss but said it was "straightforward". Kate said: "My wonderful sister, Clare ,was my birth partner and our mum, Norma, was also with us in recovery.
"It was so lovely to have them both there to share the joy. Mum is a fantastic hands-on grandma, and I’m so glad I have her locally to support me.
"And Clare has two little boys aged four and two - ready-made playmates for Joshua when he’s a bit older. I’m taking a year off as mat leave but will return to work after that.
"At the moment I’m just getting used to being a mum and I’m loving every minute of it. If I had my time over I would definitely do it all over again.”
