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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Michele Hanson

I’d rather crawl around in squalor than go into a care home

‘I thought they were just unpleasant, dreary and the food was crap.’
‘I thought they were just unpleasant, dreary and the food was crap.’ Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

I’m rather worried by the news that one in three care homes are unsafe and unclean. I thought they were just unpleasant, dreary, the food was crap and you weren’t allowed to take your dog. I was already thinking: “No, thank you, I’d rather struggle on at home, even if I have to crawl around on my hands and knees in squalor because I haven’t the strength to tidy, and can barely wipe my own bottom. I don’t care. I’m not going into one of those dumps.”

Now I’m even more determined. Imagine if you were booking your holiday hotel and were told there was a one-in-three chance it would be rubbish, and cost a fortune. Wouldn’t you rather stay at home? It’s all very well the Care Quality Commission (CQC) revealing these “shocking” findings, but what are they going to do about it? Inspectors seem to have been finding shocking things for years. They tell us all about them, they frighten the life out of us, and that’s more or less it until the next lot of findings, with elderly people sitting in excrement, not being given adequate food or water, falling over or being assaulted by staff. I can do most of that myself at home for free, without the assault.

Thank you, Andrea Sutcliffe, head of the CQC, for telling us this can “have a profound impact on people’s lives”. I know that, but what are you going to do about it? I heard Sutcliffe on the Today programme last week beginning most of her answers with: “So …” or, “And …” It sounded very odd, as if she wasn’t answering at all. “Why aren’t these places closed down?” asked John Humphrys. “So,” said she, “we think one of the most important things we can do is identify the problems and make sure they’re put right.”

“And what if they’re not?” asked Humphrys. What indeed? And what happens to elderly residents stuck therefor at least six months while things are, or possibly are not, being put right? I hope I never have to find out.

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