It’s common courtesy to respect another person’s decision if they say no to a favor you ask. Pushing the issue or acting out only creates a rift that no one wanted in the first place.
This was a problem a woman dealt with when her sister asked her to cancel her planned graduation trip and take on babysitting duties. She refused, sparking a sibling feud. However, their rift only worsened when their mom joined in and called her out for being “selfish and immature.”
Feeling confused, she turned to the AITAH Reddit community to hopefully find some clarity.
A woman’s planned college graduation trip caused a rift within her family
Image credits: MD Duran / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to her, it was a trip she had planned and saved for since her sophomore year
Image credits: Will Truettner / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, her sister demanded that she cancel the trip to take on babysitting duties
Image credits: user25451090 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Everyone called her names when she refused, including her mom, who suddenly joined in
Image credits: Sweet_Piece1502
Excessive entitlement typically happens among people who are close to each other
A 2021 study published in Frontiers of Psychology revealed three types of relational entitlement behavior: excessive, restrictive, and assertive. And while the research focused on romantic partners, it also applies to people close to each other, like family.
Psychologist Dr. Mark Travers differentiated these three, noting that excessive entitlement is a “pathological form” in which people only think about their own needs and ignore those of others.
Restrictive entitlement is the exact opposite, where timid individuals refuse to express their opinions or desires. Assertive entitlement lies in between, where the person can act reasonably, but is self-assured enough to pursue their needs.
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Based on the study and Dr. Travers’ descriptions, the older sister may have displayed excessive entitlement by forcing her younger sibling to forgo her plans and accommodate her request.
It also helps to understand how a person develops a sense of entitlement. According to mental health professional Arlin Cuncic, MA, being spoiled or indulged as a child is one possible reason for a person to carry this mentality.
In the story, the older sister seems to have been heavily favored by their parents growing up, and this still appears to be the case with the mom siding with her.
Most experts agree that boundaries are necessary when dealing with an entitled person. Workplace psychologist and executive coach Stefan Falk advises sending a clear message that such behavior isn’t acceptable, and even calling out the other person if they’ve become too much to handle.
The author did her part by standing her ground. Besides, the sister could have explored other babysitting options, including her own mother.
Most readers sided with the author, with some offering their suggestions
