“There were times I needed a padded cell for a few days, that’s how it felt,” Laura Nicholson said. “I can see myself doing things, I can see myself saying things, but I just can’t get myself back, it’s horrible.”
The now 45-year-old from Derbyshire knew she needed help when she started experiencing “uncontrollable” rage that made her scared for her son and husband.
She was later diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, a severe hormone-based mood condition that impacts one in 20 of those who have periods.
But Ms Nicholson was forced to advocate for herself to get a diagnosis and treatment. She visited her GP for advice when her symptoms became much worse following the birth of her son, who is now 11.
“It all came flooding back, and it was worse. I said to my husband, ‘I’ve got to do something about this,’” she told The Independent.
But she said the doctor laughed at her. “I turned round to him, between sobs, and said: ‘I’m glad you think it’s funny.’”
After this, she was referred to a specialist women’s health unit, which got her the help she needed. Ms Nicholson said although GPs can’t be experts in every field, she thinks they need to listen more and believe women when they say their symptoms are abnormal.
For women advocating for themselves in GP surgeries, she said: “You have to leave your dignity at the door and pick it up on your way out.
“At the time you think you’re the only one going through it, you’re not. If I can help one person to have the courage to go to their doctor and ask for help, then I’ve done my job.”
PMDD causes debilitating psychological symptoms during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle, which is from ovulation to the next period. It is considered a severe form of premenstrual syndrome and is related to hormones, but its exact causes are not fully understood. Common symptoms can include homicidal and suicidal thoughts, intense rage and self-hatred, and a desire to withdraw.
According to the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) charity, 72 per cent of PMDD sufferers experience suicidal ideation, and 34 per cent will attempt to take their own lives, although Ms Nicholson has not experienced these symptoms.
She is determined to continue treatment as she doesn’t want her family to be impacted by her involuntary behaviour.
“I don’t want my child growing up thinking that his mum’s a monster, I don’t want my husband living through domestic violence,” she added.
A mixture of hormonal treatment – injections that stop her ovaries from producing oestrogen and then medication to add it back – and a “healthy obsession” with exercise helps to keep her symptoms at bay without antidepressants, she said, although many do use them.
Ms Nicholson said the injections have given her a “new lease of life” and she is currently on the waiting list to have a hysterectomy to further improve her symptoms.
A recent report from the Women and Equalities Committee found that stigma, a lack of understanding, and “medical misogyny” contribute to women who suffer from gynaecological conditions experiencing dismissal in the doctor’s office, and waiting, in some cases, years for diagnosis and effective treatment.
Those with PMDD can currently expect to wait an average of 12 years for diagnosis.
Phoebe Williams, 29, launched a charity called the PMDD Project in 2024 to raise awareness and support for the condition.
The charity has been involved in getting PMDD recognised as a serious medical condition under the recent Women’s Health Strategy renewal, which she hopes will be a “turning point” for the community. “Knowledge can give people hope,” she said.
Dr Julie Riddell and Dr Lynsay Matthews, from the University of St Andrews, have also developed the UK Research Agenda for PMDD, which established the main priorities for future work around the condition.
A spokesperson from the Department of Health and Social Care said: “Women with PMDD have been failed for far too long. Too often their symptoms are dismissed or normalised, and that has to change.
"Our renewed Women's Health Strategy will ensure women are listened to and taken seriously from their very first appointment, and are directed to the right professional first time through a single access referral point.
"We've also committed to improving collaboration between mental health and women's health sectors, building understanding of the links between female hormones and mental health, including for conditions like PMDD.”
An NHS spokesperson said: "Dismissive behaviour toward any patient is unacceptable and the NHS is clear that women's symptoms must always be taken seriously.
“That's why we are working together with the government on enacting the renewed Women's Health Strategy launched this week, which will see doctors and mental health specialists working side by side to understand how female hormones affect mental health and to make sure conditions such as PMDD are never overlooked."
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
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