Historically speaking, black cats have always had a slightly rougher time of things than more colourful cats. In 1600s America, pilgrims caught with a black cat would be routinely killed, or at least severely punished. In medieval Europe, cats of a darker hue were often burned on midsummer bonfires.
Arguably even worse, this week the Daily Mail has claimed black cats are rubbish at selfies: a deficiency that is apparently prompting fewer people to adopt them from rescue centres.
Looking behind the story's overdramatic headline, it seems that no rescue centre or cat charity has specifically cited the selfie as a reason for the lack of black cat adoptions.
Some have merely suggested that the fact that black cats don't photograph well sometimes puts would-be adopters off in our camera-crazed age. Whether this is true or not, black cats have long been unfairly overlooked at rescue centres, and can be found sulking out back, looking a bit sorry for themselves. Ronnie McMillen, founder of the Millwood Cat Rescue Centre in Nottingham, claims many adopters "look at black cats and then just say, 'Oh, have you got anything else?'" Perhaps more gaudy cats seem more appealing to some people. People who, in short, know very little about cats.
As a long-time house sharer with two black cats, I can confirm that black cats are not simply as good as cats with other colour schemes; they also read significantly more books than other cats and are more slimming to hug. I currently live with four and a half cats (one isn't here much), and the two black ones are easily the most intelligent.
One, The Bear, better known under his @MYSADCAT Twitter handle, is a thoughtful elderly diplomat who has never intentionally harmed another living creature. Being a discerning type, he only follows six people on Twitter but at the time of writing has over 126,000 followers. I'm not kidding myself that this is largely down to the captions I add to his photos. People love The Bear because of his amazing, soulful eyes and endlessly expressive, almost human face: because he photographs better than other cats. My other, more colourful cats are great, but more in the way that cheerful, stupid people who don't overcomplicate life are great. My other black cat, Shipley, is also of formidable intellect, but in a more sweary, verbally creative, Malcolm Tucker manner. He's no good at selfies, but that's out of personal choice. He thinks the only cats who take them are attention-seeking bum onions or narcissistic spunkferrets.
• Tom Cox's latest book The Good, The Bad And The Furry is published by Little Brown. Follow Tom on Twitter at twitter.com/cox_tom.
