With lockdown fever and the frenzy around COVID-19 cases and exposure sites, we could all do with a laugh at least a few times a day.
Former cafe owner Glen Fredericks, of Adamstown Heights, recently celebrated half a million likes on his Facebook page, Premium Dad Jokes.
As you can see from this photo, he's also getting involved in the risque subscription service OnlyFans.
"I took a photo for OnlyFans. Am I doing it right?" Glen quipped.
We're not sure, but we are big fans of yours, Glen.
Anyhow, the latest joke from Premium Dad Jokes goes like this: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Border collie: "Just one. Not only that, but I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code."
Golden retriever: "The sun is shining. The day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. And you're inside worrying about a stupid, burned-out light bulb?"
Dachshund: "I can't reach the lamp!"
Toy poodle: "I'll just talk sweet to the border collie and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry."
Rottweiler: "Go ahead! Make me!"
Shih-tzu: "Puh-leeze dah-ling. What are servants for?"
Labrador: "Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?"
Malamute: "Let the border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy."
Doberman pinscher: "While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch."
Hound dog: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
Chihuahua: "Yo quiero taco bulb."
Pointer: "I see it, there it is, right there."
Greyhound: "It isn't moving. Who cares?"
Australian shepherd: "Put all the light bulbs in a little circle."
Staffy: "Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?"
Check out the website at premiumdadjokes.com.
Knights Bite Sharks
The satirical Betoota Advocate has reportedthat Newcastle got its revenge for having its Pfizer jabs redirected to Sydney by "knocking Scotty's club out of the finals".
"If Scotty From Marketing thought there wouldn't be repercussions for relocating all of the jabs from Newcastle to Sydney while the Hunter Region was locked down, he was wrong," the story said.
"This comes as the Newcastle Knights, dressed in their heritage hi-vis jerseys, snatch a finals appearance from the hands of the Cronulla Sharks with a 16-14 win."
The Advocate "reported" that Newcastle's Bradman Best said: "We did this for all the fans back home - for those in lockdown, who have missed out on their jab bookings because the government views Novocastrians as lesser people than the darling Sydneysiders," Bradman allegedly said.
"We had to keep Scotty's club out of the top eight. Without them making a finals appearance, he'll have nothing left to spin."
Hang on, though, it was NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian who redirected our Pfizer jabs to HSC students in Sydney hotspots. Scotty got our jabs back. Now, which team does Gladys support?
Out of Patience
Helga's Kindness Index has revealed that people in NSW are the most likely state in Australia to be patient (63 per cent), just edging out Queensland (62 per cent).
Oh, how we need a bit of patience at the moment.
