Full-time!
Peeeeeeeeep! That’s it people. We are done. The major news is that Wayne Rooney has become England’s top scorer and Austria have qualified for Euro 2016 with a demolition of Sweden. Elsewhere, Russia impressed with a thumping win over Lithuania and San Marino came this close to earning their second ever competitive away draw. All the necessary match reports will be up here soon enough. Enjoy them and enjoy the rest of your evening. Bye!
All the results as Austria book their place at #EURO2016! pic.twitter.com/JdSCTJ32JJ
— UEFA EURO 2016 (@UEFAEURO) September 8, 2015
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GOAL! Sweden 1-4 Austria (Ibrahimovic)
Not that it matters.
GOAL! Lithuania 2-1 San Marino (Spalvis)
Oh nooooooooo! Ninety two minutes in and San Marino hearts have been broken by Spalvis, who turned in Novikovas’ cross with a deft flick. That would have been San Marino’s second ever competitive away draw.
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GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-7 Russia (Dzyuba)
Something tells me Liechtenstein are going to get anything from this game.
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GOAL! Sweden 0-4 Austria (Harnik)
What the hell has happened to Sweden?
GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-6 Russia (Smolov)
A stunning curler of a free-kick from the boot of Smolov gives Russia yet another goal. This is quite the performance.
Wayne Rooney is England's record goal scorer!
... and he hammers it into the top corner of the net to break Bobby Charlton’s record. And he looks very emotional about it all.
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ENGLAND HAVE A PENALTY. WAYNE ROONEY HAS THE BALL IN HIS HAND ...
Incidentally, Vitaioli, who scored for San Marino, is an amateur.
When San Marino scored their first competitive away goal since April 2001 #EURO2016 @UEFAEURO pic.twitter.com/aFdB7Nbkr3
— European Qualifiers (@EuroQualifiers) September 8, 2015
GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-5 Russia (Smolov)
A mere four minutes after making it 4-0, Russia have added another goal to their plus column. The Liechtenstein keeper, Jehle, could but parry Dzyuba’s close range effort into the feet of Smolov, who could not miss from a few yards out.
GOAL! Sweden 0-3 Austria (Janko)
Break out the champagne, Austria. You are on your way to France. And it gets worse for Sweden ...
“While that Ed Aarons stat about Russia-Liechtenstein being a mismatch is well and true,” blasts Mehrun Etebari, “I’d remind him that large geographical stat differentials don’t always translate to football dominance, as Guam (population 165,000) has already defeated India (1.25 billion) in the current phase of WC qualifiers. And that’s based on a count of people, which unlike square miles, can be used to make up a squad. As my coaches always taught me growing up, “You can’t play a square mile of Russian taiga as a holding midfielder.”
Meanwhile in the Spain game ...
Alcacer whacks in a lovely goal but pulled back for offside (which I'm not convinced about)
— Sid Lowe (@sidlowe) September 8, 2015
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GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-4 Russia (Dzyuba)
Dzyuba has his hat-trick. And he did so via a close-range finish from Kombarov’s left-wing cross.
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GOAL! Moldova 0-2 Montenegro (Beciraj)
He scored on Saturday and he has done so again tonight. Beciraj picked up the ball wide on the right and waltzed his way around a couple of defenders before firing the ball into the far corner of the net.
GOAL! Slovenia 1-0 Estonia (Beric)
Slovenia have given themselves a very decent chance of taking third spot in Group thanks to this goal from Beric. Before tonight, they were a point behind Estonia with two games to play (agains Lithuania and San Marino). That was Berić first ever goal for Slovenia and he was helped by some sweet work by Valter Birsa after which he out-muscled a defender and poked his side into a valuable lead.
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Meanwhile in the Spain game, Diego Costa, after another poor performance for Spain, has been called to the bench. He is replaced by Paco Alcácer.
GOAL! Belarus 2-0 Luxembourg (Gordeichuk)
Gordeichuk gets his second of the night and that is surely three points for Belarus. This one is a low shot drilled into the net from close range.
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GOAL! Lithuania 1-1 San Marino (Vitaioli)
Do not adjust your set. San Marino have indeed scored a goal, a goal away from home. That would be their first goal away from home in 14 years, yes, 14 years. It came from the free-kick that Arlauskis conceded and via the boot of Vitaioli. San Marino’s last away goal came in a 1-1 draw against Latvia in April 2001.
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RED CARD!
The second sending-off of the night has gone to Arlauskis of Lithuania, for his use of a professional foul on Rinaldi. Luckily for Lithuania, the goalkeeper’s foul was just outside the box. Hope, then, for San Marino. Actually, there is more than hope ...
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Russia (area 6.602 million mi²) currently leading Liechtenstein (area 61.78 mi²) 2-0 in Vaduz #mismatch
— Ed Aarons (@ed_aarons) September 8, 2015
Macedonia have a free-kick on the edge of the Spain box after a foul on Hasani by Busquets. They couldn’t could they? Eh no. Hasani curls it over the bar by this much.
And we are back people. Just 45 more minutes of Euro 2016 qualifiers time!
J.R. in Illinois has been something similar for Slovenia v Estonia. Here is his half-time report: “Given the choice to watch several of tonight’s qualifiers (in addition to the England game which I have one eye on on the TV) I have chosen to watch, for no real reason I can think of, Slovenia v Estonia. I now believe my decision may have been a mistake. It is truly terrible. I suppose I could switch to a different game but this one has really settled into a mesmerising yet soothing pattern of crapness. Also, I’m a bit lethargic because it is 90 degrees outside. And I thought summer was over.”
Charles Antaki has been watching the Spain game so you don’t have to. Here is his half-time report: “All pretty dismal in the Macedonia-Spain game – stonewall defending enlivened by some comic moments of falling over, and the constant suspense of waiting for Costa to do something interesting or be sent off.”
Meanwhile in Asia ...
home advantage not really a thing in asian qualifiers apparently pic.twitter.com/GkffMYyZgc
— Ken Early (@kenearlys) September 8, 2015
Hey yo, it’s half-time. Back in a moment, after a sup of tea has passed through the lips.
All the half-time scores from across Europe... #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/ndIv7nEQUN
— UEFA EURO 2016 (@UEFAEURO) September 8, 2015
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GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-3 Russia (Dzyuba)
Just moments after that goal, Dzyuba was played in with a delicate lobbed pass from Shirokov. He finished the move by firing the ball into the net for his second of the evening.
GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-2 Russia (Kokorin)
Kokorin is the man who scored but once more a decent chunk of praise for the goal must go to Dzyuba. It was he who was taken to the turf in the box by Kaufmann and so it was he who won the penalty from which Kokorin scored. Kaufmann, incidentally, got a red card for his part in the proceedings so Liechtenstein are two goals down and down to ten men.
Have just seen a replay from that Sweden goal. It was pretty awful defending from them. And just when things could not get worse for them ...
GOAL! Sweden 0-2 Austria (Harnik)
Oh Sweden! The ball was flung into their box from the left-hand side and Harnik escaped his marker and nodded it in at the back post after Janko had flicked it on for him.
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GOAL! Belarus 1-0 Luxembourg (Gordeichuk)
In the big one, Gordeichuk has given Belarus the lead. It was a decent finish from the Bate Borisov player after a swift counterattack by Belarus.
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Did they fist pump at 80s rock concerts?
Diego Costa has been a very naughty boy. Well not very naughty, but naughty enough to pick up a yellow card for a foul on Brdarovski, which means he will miss the next Spain game. That sound you can hear right about now is José Mourinho fist-pumping like he is at a 80s rock concert.
Ibrahimovic has gotten out the brute force and absolutely walloped a free-kick towards the Austria goal from a good 25 yards. It is struck beautifully but it misses the post by this much. Boy, do his side need him now.
You weren’t wondering, were you? You’re doing something better aren’t you? Like flossing or your calculating your tax returns or hoovering the stairs. Sigh.
Still 0-0 over here, in case you are wondering.
“Evening Ian,” cheers Simon McMahon. “I’m struggling to muster much enthusiasm for the matches taking place tonight. I mean, every single nation in Europe is going to qualify for the finals, right? All except Scotland, that is.” Don’t worry Simon, Ireland are sure to much it up at some stage.
GOAL! Liechtenstein 0-1 Russia (Dzyuba)
He scored against Sweden and he has scored against Liechtenstein. What a good decision to bring him back into the Russian squad. Dzyuba scored from close range after a neat back-heel from Shirokov. They way the results stand, Russia are going second and Sweden are going third.
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Austria would become the first team to win their group should they beat Sweden #EURO2016
— UEFA EURO 2016 (@UEFAEURO) September 8, 2015
Back to that penalty to Austria for a moment. As we said, it was Junuzovic who was treated to a trip to the ground inside the box as he tried to cut the ball back in the zone of danger. The referee, unlike Celine Dion, did not have to think twice. And while all that was being typed, Ibra had a rasper of an effort of a free-kick saved.
GOAL! Moldova 0-1 Montenegro (Savic)
That is the exact start that Montenegro need if they are to keep their dream of finishing in third place alive.
GOAL! Macedonia 0-1 Spain (Mata)
Cor blimey, London buses and all that. Mata had the ball wide on the right, near the corner of the Macedonia box. He looked to cross it over but his cross found its way over the head of Pacovski and into the top corner of the net.
GOAL! Sweden 0-1 Austria (Alaba)
It was Källstrom who conceded a penalty for a foul on Junuzovic and it was Alaba who tucked it away. Should they remain in the lead, they will be on their way to France next year.
Penalty!
There has been a penalty in Sweden and ... it has gone to Austria ...
GOAL! Lithuania 1-0 San Marino (Černych)
Finally! We have our first goal. Cernych puts Lithuania into the lead, with a decent volley from Novikovas’ low corner to the front post.
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As you would expect, Spain draped in black, are already bossing the game against Macedonia. They have spent most of the opening five minutes camped inside the Macedonia half but outside the Macedonia box. As expected, Ross Barkley has replaced Fabian Delph.
“Still no goals as of yet,” say the lads on TV, 20 seconds after the matches have kicked off. There may be no goals but already there is some early news. Fabian Delph’s hamstring has done one and he is being walked off the pitch. Ross Barkley looks like his replacement.
And it is off we go. Huzzah!
Right about now, the teams are striding out onto turfs all around Europe, with the hair on the backs of their necks standing to attention. Also standing to attention are the fans as all across Europe the national anthems stride out into the evening air.
Remember, remember, Scott Murray has a firm grip on England’s game tonight. You can join him over here.
Marko Teodorcevic is the type of person who likes to express his thoughts on the hot topic of the day through a simple maths equation. Hence this: “Season 1 Flight of the Conchords > Season 2 Flight of the Conchords”.
Some interesting titbits in amongst all that team news. The most interesting, however, may be that David De Gea starts for Spain, though that should not really come as a shock as he is easily their best keeper and Del Bosque, like any other manager, would want to pick his best side. Elsewhere, Zlatan starts for Sweden despite being taken off at half-time against Russia with an injury. Speaking of Russia, it might be worth keeping an eye on Artem Dzyuba, who was recalled to the Russian side by Leonid Slutski and put in quite the performance in that win over Sweden.
Team news
Belarus v Luxembourg
Belarus: Zhevnov, Shitov, Sivakov, Bordachev, Filipenko, Dragun, Bressan, Hleb, Nekhaychik, Kornilenko, Gordeichuk. Subs: Chernik, Gorbunov, Begunov, Stasevich, Volodko, Kislyak, Maevski, Kalachev, Signevich
Luxembourg: Joubert, Chanot, Janisch, Schnell, Jans, Philipps, Gerson, Payal, Mutsch, Joachim, Deville. Subs: Amodio, Delgado, Malget, Martino, Thill, Da Mota, Bensi, Turpel, Luisi
Referee: Slavko Vincic (SVN)
Macedonia v Spain
Macedonia: Pacovski, Brdarovski, Sikov, Ristevski, Zuta, Gligorov, Petrovic, Radeski, Hasani, Askovski, Ivanovski. Subs: Dimitrievski, Alilovski, Zajkov, Trajkovski, Velkoski, Muarem, Ibraimi, Bardi, Nikolov, Ilijoski, Bozinovski.
Spain: De Gea; Carvajal, Ramos, Piqué, Bernat; Busquets, Cazorla, Isco; Mata, Silva, D. Costa. Subs: Casillas, Azpilicueta, Bartra, Iniesta, Vitolo, Koke, Alcacer, Fabregas, Pedro, Juanfran, Jordi Alba, Sergio Rico.
Referee: Paolo Tagliavento (ITA)
Slovakia v Ukraine
Slovakia: Kozacik, Pekarik, Skrtel, Gyomber, Hubocan, Hamsik, Kucka, Mak, Duris, Pecovsky, Vittek. Subs: Mucha, Novota, Michalik, Salata, Gregus, Duda, Stoch, Hrosovsky, Svento, Nemec, Sestak, Jakubko
Ukraine: Pyatov, Khacheridi, Shevchuk, Fedetskyi, Rakitskiy, Stepanenko, Yarmolenko, Konoplyanka, Rotan, Rybalka, Kravets. Subs: Boyko, Shevchenko, Tymoshchuk, Kucher, Morozyuk, Malinovskyi, Husev, Malyshev, Pylyavskyi, Kovalenko, Budkivsky, Gladkiy
Referee: Martin Atkinson (ENG)
Lithuania v San Marino
Lithuania: Arlauskis, Klimavicius, Freidgeimas, Slavickas, Zaliukas, Novikovas, Pilibaitis, Zulpa, Cernych, Slivka, Spalvis. Subs: Zubas, Cerniauskas, Kijanskas, Vaitkunas, Bartkus, Cesnauskis, Luksa, Mikoliunas, Chvedukas, Panka, Petravicius, Matulevicius.
San Marino: Benedettini, Battistini, Palazzi, Vitaioli, Della Valle (c), Brolli, Vitaioli, Gasperoni, Chiaruzzi, Rinaldi, Stefanelli. Subs: Muraccini, Manzaroli, Berardi, Buscarini, Della Valle, Berretti, Golinucci, Mazza, Golinucci, Valentini, Hirsch, Selva.
Referee: Clayton Pisani (MLT)
Slovenia v Estonia
Slovenia: Handanovic, Cesar, B.Ilic, Jokic, Andraz Struna, Kurtic, Birsa, Kampl, Krhin, Ilicic, Beric. Subs: Oblak, Vidmar, Krajnc, Samardzic, Skubic, Stevanovic, Lazarevic, Kirm, Rotman, Pecnik, Ljubijankic, Teever.
Estonia: Aksalu, Pikk, Klavan, Jaager, Mets, Kallaste, Lindpere, Vassiljev, Teniste, Purje, Zenjovs. Subs: Pareiko, Londak, Barengrub, Kruglov, Jürgenson, Kams, Baranov, Antonov, S.Puri, Luts, Subbotin.
Referee: Tasos Sidiropoulos (GRE)
Liechtenstein v Russia
Liechtenstein: Jehle, Rechsteiner, Frick, Kaufmann, Burgmeier, Kieber, Polverino, Yildiz, Martin Buchel, Hasler, Salanovic. Subs: Bicer, Brandle, Sele, Christen, Gubser, Wolfinger, Heeb.
Russia: Akinfeev, Smolnikov, Ignashevich, Vasili Berezutski, Kombarov, Dzagoev, Denisov, Shirokov, Kokorin, Shatov, Dzjuba. Subs: Lodygin, Rebrov, Kuzmin, Gazinski, Mamaev, Alexsei Berezutski, Glushakov, Cheryshev, Erokhin, Granat, Smolov, Ionov.
Referee: Bobby Madden (SCO)
Moldova v Montenegro
Moldova: Cebanu, Jardan, Golovatenco, Armas, Erhan, Cojocari, Dedov, Gatcan, Cebotaru, Patras, Milinceanu. Subs: Calancea, Ginsari, Bogdan, Burghiu, Cociuc, Andronic, Zasavitchi, Racu, Carp, Koselev.
Montenegro: Poleksic, Savic, Basa, Simic, Tomasevic, Marusic, Boljevic, Nikola Vukcevic, Beciraj, Jovetic, Damjanovic. Subs: Mijatovic, Balic, Volkov, Mandic, Vucinic, Saveljich, Kascelan, Zverotic, Mugosa, Drasko Bozovic, Jankovic, Petkovic.
Referee: Sébastien Delferiere (BEL)
Sweden v Austria
Sweden: Isaksson, Larsson, Antonsson, Granqvist, Martin Olsson, Zengin, Ekdal, Kallstrom, Forsberg, Berg, Ibrahimovic. Subs: Nordfeldt, Bengtsson, Thelin, Milosevic, Lewicki, Jonas Olsson, Wernbloom, Wendt, Khalili, Toivonen, Durmaz, Olsen.
Austria: Almer, Klein, Prodl, Dragovic, Fuchs, Harnik, Baumgartlinger, Alaba, Arnautovic, Junuzovic, Janko. Subs: Lindner, Garics, Madl, Ilsanker, Okotie, Suttner, Wimmer, Pehlivan, Hinterseer, Sabitzer, Jantscher, Ozcan.
Referee: Carlos Velasco Carballo (ESP)
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How was season two of Flight of the Conchords? Any use? Murray and Mel were the best parts of season one, for sure.
People, tonight were going to watch football. You know how I know? Because its Tuesday. And Tuesday night is the night that we usually watch football. Sunday night is my night to cook, Monday night we go and visit your mother but Tuesday, we watch sweet football. It’s when everything is just right. There’s nothing else good on TV. You haven’t had your after work social sports team practice so you are not too tired. You lean in and whisper something sexy in my ear like, ‘I might go to bed, I’ve got work in the morning’ but we know what you’re trying to say. You’re trying to say, ooooooh, yeah. It’s Euro 2016 qualifiers time! It’s Euro 2016 qualifiers time!
And what a time it is. In Group C, there is still quite a bit to play for. At the top of the group reign Spain on 18 points, second is Slovakia also on 18, while in third place on 15 points lies Ukraine. This evening Spain are coming up against Macedonia and given that Vicente del Bosque’s side thonked them 5-1 in the opening game – with even Sergio Busquets getting on the scoresheet – anything other than three points for Spain would be akin to the shock we all experienced upon watching the finale for California Dreams and finding out that the band would not be staying together. (How devastating was that?) Anyway, back to the football and back to Group C. Belarus are taking on Luxembourg in a match that matters little but in a match that matters much, Slovakia take on Ukraine. On paper, Slovakia should edge this. They are playing at home and at home they play good. They are on a three-match winning streak in competitive home qualifiers which, of course, is their best run since they won four straight home victories between the autumn of 2007 and the summer of 2009. Should they indeed edge this, they can break out the slivovica or the borovicka of even the demanovka, for automatic qualification will be theirs to have and to hold, to love and care for.
Scott Murray will be typing you through the joy of England’s 1-0 loss to Switzerland while elsewhere in Group E, Lithuania take on San Marino and Slovenia face off against Estonia. The former of those games should be about as interesting as Her or Boyhood but the latter could pack some punch. Only a point and a place separates the two sides, with Estonia on 10 and Slovenia on 9. Estonia will be desperate to take the three points, especially since their final two games in the group come against the aforementioned England and Switzerland, while Slovenia have Lithuania and San Marino. The bad news for fans of Estonia is that on their travels they are blunter than what that guy in Christiania was smoking the other day and they have failed to score in their three away fixtures to date, including – wait for this! – a goalless draw in San Marino. Hilarious!
And finally to Group G. No, no there is no need for you to book yourself in for an eye test, Austria really are top of the group on 19 points with no defeats to their name. This evening, they take on Sweden and should they win or should they draw, they will have qualified for the European Championships for the first time. In fact, even a loss would do for them if Russia fail to take three points in their encounter away to Liechtenstein. Unfortunately for Austria, that probably will not be the case. Liechtenstein are without a competitive success in nine home games while Russia, who beat them under Fabio Capello, impressed in their first game under Leonid Slutski, defeating Sweden 1-0 at home. Elsewhere, Montenegro, on 8 points, travel to Moldova and, theoretically at least, could still claim third spot in that group.
All in all, it should be an action-packed evening. So brush your teeth, sort out the recycling and throw on that old ugly t-shirt you got from your work several years ago. It’s Euro 2016 qualifiers time! It’s Euro 2016 qualifiers time!
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