Last year three dog owners tactfully told me that my kind gift to their respective pooches of a hilarious pink pig that made loud oinking noises when pressed had lasted all of 30 seconds before being shredded by their dogs, and that luckily they had retrieved the squeaker before their beloved hounds choked.
Lesson learned. This year I asked a vet student's advice about gifts for dogs. Her suggestion? Keep it simple. You can throw a tennis ball out the window endless times for them to retrieve while you have your feet up and stay cool. If they want an afternoon treat, put the sprinkler on for them."
Actually, I would love to find a chillable water bowl for dogs, one that could be frozen overnight then left out in the morning to keep the water cool till you come home from work. Failing that, add a few ice cubes every morning before you leave.
The vet student friend had another useful tip for gardeners too, one I had never heard. Grapes are toxic for dogs, but most dogs adore them. My "grand dog" has long legs and a long inquisitive nose, and would be easily able to reach low-hanging grapes on our trellis. Only grow grapes along low trellises if you are a vigneron, and don't grow grape vines on your fence, in case a woofer wolfs them down.
Avocado peel and pits are toxic, too, as are a large number of garden plants, but I'm not going to list them as it would take about 86 pages of boredom, plus animals usually avoid any dangerous tucker growing nearby. The majors exceptions are usually where there isn't much other food for them, or where they are tethered, or confined, and hungry or bored or both, and so have a nibble on deadly oleander or belladonna.
I asked about gifts for cats, too, but her only advice was to avoid anything with string or wool that might entangle the cat's tongue. Also on the "no" list for cats, dogs or even the wombat you might be caring for while it recovers, are any scraps from festive food, as it will probably be too salty, or contain chocolate or alcohol, or raisins i.e. dried grapes, or possibly all four simultaneously.
The best animal gift is possibly water. Many dogs adore garden ponds. One intelligent Labrador I know has invented his own game of throwing his ball into the pond then diving in with much splashing to retrieve it. He is a dog of great inventiveness, as well as enthusiasm.
Birds will definitely be on the lookout for water sources this year, as they are each summer, whether you have a farm, backyard or patio, or even a front porch to hang a bird bath. Remember that birds will bathe as well as drink there, so wash each bird bath well and dry before refilling them each night, and a few ice blocks won't go amiss either. You can also possibly track down water dispensers for wild birds that give water when trodden on, but I can't find any this year.
As any bird expert will tell you, there are big birds and little birds. Big birds like deeper water. Small birds will need a spot to perch to drink from deeper ponds or containers, or place an upended bowl in the middle of the dish where they can sit. Almost any container, decorative or otherwise, can become a bird bath and drinking pool - even an elderly saucepan that has lost its lid, or a stunning casserole dish or fruit bowl that you love but don't need to use. Be inventive.
Also generous. Bird species tend to have a hierarchy. The king parrots here shoo away the crimson rosellas, who shriek at the eastern rosellas till they depart, and all the larger birds tend to scare the silvereyes and red browed finches and other small birds.
The answer to the pecking order problem is to put out at least two or even four or five containers, out of reach of dogs and cats, so the water is more likely to stay clean each day, and each bird can take as long as they like to drink or bathe and cool down. A good trick is to put some pebbles in each bird bath, so if a small bird falls in they have something to grip onto to get out more easily.
Big birds usually like bird baths in open, obvious areas. Smaller birds like more cover over them and around them, so they needn't worry about becoming dinner for a red goshawk or goanna while bathing.
Always put the bird baths in dappled shade, which is where most birds prefer to drink - including chooks. If you don't have dappled shade, and some shrubs for small bird privacy, this is the time to plan where to put them when you next have a free few days.
A great chook gift is a bale of lucerne hay suspended in their chook run. The chooks will need to leap or flutter up to peck it and slowly pull it apart. They seem to enjoy the exercise enormously.
Our wombats will be getting carrots. Despite all the wombat/carrot literature I produce, wombats actually prefer lush green grass to carrots. This year, unless we get a heatwave and the grass browns off - very possible - the wombats will probably ignore their carrot gift. Santa's reindeer will get more to munch, or possibly the local possums, who are very partial to a varied diet. A night that doesn't contain an attack on at least three kinds of fruit tree and four garden vegetables - especially peas and broccolini just now - is probably wasted, from a possum's point of view.
I am not putting out gifts for the possums. Possums are quite capable of choosing their own, though they do seem to be especially tempted by tabouli with lots of parsley and a garlicy dressing. I will not be making tabouli at all this year, which will be yet another source of annoyance for Possum X, who lives in the roof above our living room and is displeased by any daytime noise when he is attempting peaceful sleep. Human holidays are not fun for Possum X.
But stock up on tennis balls, the bird baths, and plenty of ice cubes, and it should be a suitably festive season for all the other animals in your life and garden.
This week I am:
- Transplanting bearded iris now they have stopped blooming.
- Trying to remember to water the vegetable and flower beds now it no longer rains each night.
- Murmuring encouragement to the basil plants. If they don't get a move on, we won't have enough for pesto or eggplant parmigiana in a fortnight's time.
- Watching the tomatoes still stubbornly refuse to ripen, just as they do this time every year. They want life to be hot. It is hard to have "slightly warm with regular rain showers" and richly ripe tomatoes too.
- Harvesting the garlic I should have pulled up last week. That will be done, because if I don't we will need to buy garlic, or go without.
- Gazing at the garden with joy, and simply enjoying the greenery, the blooms, the fruit and regeneration that earth can provide for us.
- Mowing. And more mowing. My biceps are improving.
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