When a listener named Laura wrote into the "Women & Money" podcast with a complicated family dilemma, Suze Orman didn't hesitate to break it down. The story involves a 72-year-old woman, recently divorced, who now works full time in a Montessori school just to get by. But the financial fallout extends beyond her personal situation — it's rippling through the entire family.
A Retirement Lost to a Risky Gamble
A listener, Laura, wrote into Orman's show and shared that her 72-year-old sister-in-law recently emptied out her entire retirement account to support her son's efforts to become a day trader — a gamble that failed. Not only did this leave her without savings, but it also triggered unexpected tax consequences, which further complicated her financial position.
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Now, at an age when many are winding down their careers — if not fully retired already — she's working full time and living in a one-bedroom apartment. To help her make ends meet, Laura and other family members contribute $1,000 a month.
Meanwhile, the Ex-Husband Is Living Large
Here's where it gets even more complex: Laura's brother — the woman's ex-husband — has moved on. He's remarried and owns homes in multiple cities, including Rio de Janeiro and Chicago, and is considering buying a third property with another sibling.
While he meets the minimum requirements of his divorce settlement, Laura feels that he is neglecting a moral responsibility to help his former spouse, especially given her vulnerable position. This has led to tension within the family — and between Laura and her own husband, who is content to continue providing financial support without raising concerns.
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Orman's Take: Separate the Issues
Orman was quick to point out that this is really two separate problems: Laura's frustration with her husband, and the larger issue of her sister-in-law's financial hardship.
First, Orman encouraged Laura to be understanding of her husband's stance. He may be avoiding conflict, or he might not feel a deep connection to her brother and his ex-wife.
"If I were you, forget your husband in terms of him not wanting to do it," Orman said. "That’s fine. Understand that and don’t take it personally. It’s not damaging your relationship in reality. It’s just in your head."
The Bigger Problem: Why Aren't the Men Stepping Up?
The larger issue, Orman noted, centers on the ex-husband and the adult son — both of whom are absent from the woman's financial support system. Orman stressed that while the brother is legally in the clear, the emotional and ethical impact of his choices shouldn't be ignored.
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The woman emptied her retirement account to help her son. Orman asked, "Is he working and why isn't he helping her?"
Orman recommended that Laura have two separate, honest conversations: one with her brother and one with her nephew. With her brother, Orman advised sharing how painful it's been to watch his ex-wife struggle and asking, without blame, if he'd be willing to do more to help, even if the divorce agreement doesn't require it.
With the nephew, Orman suggested asking whether he's financially stable and aware that the rest of the family is covering his mother's expenses — and what he plans to do to contribute to her care going forward.
A Family Matter That's Not Going Away
While the woman's financial struggles began with a divorce and a risky investment, her situation has become a family-wide issue. Orman's advice? Keep compassion at the center of every conversation, and don't be afraid to ask tough questions — especially to those who may not be pulling their weight.
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