Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Entertainment
Alan Johnson

Deborah James' devastating final letter and beautiful advice to her children

Dame Deborah James' heartbreaking and poignant final letter to her family saw her address her children, telling them to be "brave" and "only marry for love".

The BBC podcaster, who tragically lost her battle with stage 4 terminal bowel cancer in June 2022 aged just 40, penned the book 'How To Live When You Could Be Dead' whilst she was dying.

In it she recorded all the lessons she learned throughout her four year fight with the disease, paying particular attention to staying positive in the face of adversity.

The Dame had some special advice for her children.

After describing the 'mental snapshots' that never leave you as a parent, she talks about the moment of seeing her now 14-year old son when he was just four days old and cradled against her. She describes that point she said began to 'understand what love was'.

She added that she wished she could 'protect him in the way' she did when he was so young, but remained confident her children will cope without her.

"I believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, I believe in rebellious hope and I believe my children will be OK when I die," she wrote. "I want them to realise that life does not always go according to plan.

"You can make plans, and you can have goals, but you have to be prepared for the fact that sometimes life is more interesting when you go off-piste — so be brave. Take a chance and back yourself.

She continued: "Don’t leave the world and all it has to offer until retirement — experience it now. Learn to balance living in the now and being present in the moment with your plans for the future (although this may be the hardest lesson of all). Marry only for love."

Continuing to discuss making the most of life, she told her kids that we are 'given 86,400 seconds every day' and you only 'understand their value' once they begin to slip away.

Deborah closed by revealing her 'greatest advice' - to 'do whatever you want with those seconds'.

How To Live When You Could Be Dead, by Deborah James (Vermillion, £14.99), is out on August 18, 2022. £3 from each UK sale will be paid to the Bowelbabe Fund for Cancer Research UK. Cancer Research UK is a charity registered in England and Wales (1089464) and Scotland (SC041666).

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.