Should my fiancee quit teaching? She loves kids but the workload is taking its toll
My fiancee is in her first year of teaching but is finding it very hard. I think she’s slowly coming to realise that it may not be the correct career choice. She loves working with kids and she is very good with them, which is evident.
But I just hate seeing the toll it is taking … she is constantly working and marking books, and I don’t think she knew how much work was involved.
Have you any idea which other career paths she could take as she clearly isn’t happy? I know it costs a lot for a degree but you can’t put a price on happiness.
Jeremy says
She should start to seek advice from colleagues who are two or three years ahead of her. The first year for teachers is notoriously demanding and can test a person’s resolve to the absolute limit.
She may hesitate before confiding in others, thinking it’s a sign of weakness, but she shouldn’t. She is bound to find others who have experienced very much the same levels of stress – and may even have contemplated chucking it all in – but have somehow managed to struggle on and come out the other side. There is a very real chance that this could be true for your fiancee. She could find great comfort, and reserves of determination, from hearing how others once felt exactly as she is feeling, and yet went on to enjoy the profession as much as they always hoped they would.
It would be a terrible shame, and a great waste of her past few years, were she to concede defeat when (although she certainly won’t feel it) she may already be halfway through the worst. Your concern is admirable, but it’s possible that the greatest support you can give her is not to encourage her to think of alternative professions but rather to help her get through another term or two. A useful technique is for her to set a series of small, defined tasks – reasonably challenging but achievable enough to help her, gradually, feel more confident.
It is, of course, possible that she is going to continue to find the workload intolerable. Even then, she shouldn’t see it as the end of all her hopes for a career in education – and she certainly shouldn’t assume she’ll need to sign up and pay for, another vocational degree. She’s good with children and loves working with them. So perhaps she needs to take a temporary break and sign on as a teaching assistant so she can continue doing the things she loves and does well while, more slowly, adjusting to the demands of a fully fledged teacher.
Readers say
• I would offer two pieces of advice: first, she has only just begun. The first year of any career is the hardest, with a steep learning curve, but particularly in teaching where you don’t have everything set up. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water just yet. Second, with a year or two teaching under her belt she could add another specialisation to her qualifications such as special needs teaching or school counselling. Continue to support her, but let her travel at her own pace. delta68
• The second year is usually better than the first, and she will get to know her students better and, if the curriculum and methods aren’t changed yet again, last year’s lesson preparation can be reused. minermackem
• I can’t think of a job or career that isn’t challenging the first year. There is always so much to learn while trying to become established. After all her training and interest it is too soon just to jump ship, or for you to encourage her to do that. bcarey
• I gave up teaching after 10 years, so I feel a great deal of sympathy. If teaching is your life then that’s great, but if it’s a job then it sucks. Walderslady
• If teaching is the right career but the hours too long, perhaps she could work part time. She could use the other part of her time to do something else she is passionate about, or use it for other tutoring roles where the preparation and marking burden isn’t as high. Bambis
All my job interviews seem to be a fix, and always go to an internal candidate
I am a senior manager in a niche field and have been trying to move on from my current company for several years.
I have lots of experience and regularly get interviews. They involve a lot of preparation and tend to be day-long. But no matter how well I, or the other interviewees, perform, the role always seems to go to an internal candidate. We all often get similar feedback along the lines of “you did everything right but we have a preferred candidate”. I’m beginning to feel trapped, as though interviews are a fix.
Next time I am offered an interview, would it be unwise to ask if there is an internal candidate and reject the offer if so? It might help weed out time wasters.
Jeremy says
First, I want you to put yourself in the shoes of recruiting companies. Almost all, if they have suitable candidates, prefer to recruit from within, and this has little, if anything, to do with favouritism. First, it’s good for staff morale to know that their company offers them opportunities to progress internally and that they don’t have to go elsewhere in order to make the next step up. Promoting from within sometimes creates problems, it’s true, but it’s usually less disruptive and ensures continuity.
Second, there is the undoubted benefit of familiarity. However thorough the interviewing process, taking on someone from outside inevitably incurs a slightly greater risk than promoting from within. So people who have been with the company for several years, and have proved themselves competent, reliable and popular with colleagues, inevitably – and understandably – have an edge over those applying from outside. It’s not a fix; they’re just a safer bet.
I think you’d be extremely unwise, when offered an interview, to ask if there is an internal candidate. However reasonable the intention, your question would be interpreted as suspicion on your part that the whole process was rigged. Even if they confirmed that there were no internal candidates, you’d start with a black mark against you.
I am afraid you’ve no choice but to put your suspicions to one side and persevere.
Readers say
• For public sector jobs you have to advertise, and you have to shortlist, even if you have a perfect internal candidate. It might not be right but it’s the rules. Flip side is, they pay travelling expenses and provide lunch. ajchm
• Organisations have to work to the facade that candidates are recruited according to “equal opportunities and open competition”. Hypatia01
• I always felt sorry for interviewees when I worked in the NHS and the civil service. Both were obliged to advertise vacancies, sometimes at great expense, when all the time the job had been already promised to someone on staff … a total waste of public money. snark1
• Request the interview at a time that suits you. That could help weed out those that were genuinely interested. And spruce up your LinkedIn profile and any other external professional profiles you may have – you may be approached rather than having to do the approaching. HonoraM
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or to reply personally.
