The heartbreak of losing a child is something no parent should endure. For one woman who called "The Ramsey Show," that tragedy was followed by another battle — what to do with a financial settlement that tore her relationship apart.
She explained she had lost her baby "due to malpractice, medical negligence" about two years earlier. The lawsuit was finally closing, bringing an $850,000 settlement. After paying her attorney, she said she would net "a little over a half a million dollars."
But rather than security, the money brought turmoil. The father of her three surviving children — her partner of 10 years — demanded control of the settlement. He has refused marriage, but told her he deserved "majority" of the money because he "provides daily" for the household.
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The caller disagreed. She wanted to invest the money long-term for her children's future and retirement. He wanted to spend freely now. Adding to the confusion, she said, "Some of it will go into our son's estate," referring to the baby who had died, which gave her partner the idea that he had legal rights to the funds.
Dave Ramsey immediately underlined the complication: "This argument and this confusion is brought on by the fact that you're not married, right?" He told her plainly, "If we want to talk about what I'm going to do with my $500,000, I have three children to watch after and I don't have a husband. … No, I'm not giving this to a guy who can just leave."
Rachel Cruze, Ramsey's daughter and co-host, spoke up to validate what the caller was feeling. She noted how manipulative the father's claim sounded. "That was like another guilt, guilt tripping me into ‘give me this because I do this' — which is a scorekeeping thing and very, very, very unhealthy," Cruze said. She reminded the caller: his name isn't on the settlement, and it is not his money to claim.
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The caller admitted she had "suffered a lot of damages to my personal body during that time of losing the baby." That trauma was hers. Ramsey agreed, making it clear: "It is not yours. Okay? … There is not a scenario where we're not married and you get any of this."
The question of the late child's estate surfaced again. Ramsey corrected the misunderstanding: "Your son's estate has to be managed for the heirs of your son. Which would be his siblings, not his father." In other words, the money tied to the estate passes to the children, not to the man who refuses to marry their mother.
Ramsey widened his point to human behavior. "More money does not make people go bad. It reveals when they're bad," he said. To him, the $850,000 didn't poison the relationship — it exposed the cracks that had always been there.
He warned the caller to beware of manipulation: if her partner suddenly rushed to marry her, it could be nothing more than "a ticket into some of this money." Instead, Ramsey suggested counseling to confront the deeper issues.
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Cruze agreed, urging the caller to protect herself and her children from unhealthy dynamics. She emphasized the danger of tying money to guilt or obligation when no legal commitment exists.
For the caller, the settlement was supposed to offer stability after unthinkable loss. Instead, it magnified the fragility of a decade-long relationship. Ramsey's final prediction was blunt: "If you give him a big chunk of this money … this is going to go sideways for you."
The tragedy that began with the loss of her baby had become a test of boundaries, commitment, and financial responsibility. The $850,000 settlement — meant as restitution — was never a prize for the father's role as provider. It was, as Ramsey and Cruze made clear, hers to safeguard for healing and for the children who remain.
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