When couples recite their vows, the promise usually covers sickness, health, richer, poorer, and everything in between. But rarely does anyone picture adding "and your 80-year-old parents' mortgage" to the list. That was the case for Serena from Raleigh, who called into "The Ramsey Show" in an episode titled "My New Husband Won't Help Support My Family."
Serena had been married just six months when she explained her husband's hesitation to merge finances. Together, they owed $137,000 in student loans, with $111,000 of it in her name. Debt wasn't the surprise, though. Before marriage, she had been helping cover half the mortgage for her retired parents, who don't receive Social Security. "Before we got married I used to live with my parents so I paid for half of the mortgage and I pay for other bills still," she told Ramsey.
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The newlywed's commitment to her parents, around $2,000 a month, became the sticking point. Her husband didn't want to shoulder that burden — especially after finding out she has seven siblings. "I agree with your husband," Ramsey told her flatly. "There's a toxic thing going on here, and the only one that's getting written is you. They're being stubborn and milking you like a cow."
Ramsey's critique went further than just the siblings' lack of support. He noted her parents owned property in Central America valued at about $60,000 — an asset they hadn't touched while their daughter financed their U.S. housing. "Your brothers and sisters aren't chipping in what they can, and your parents aren't selling their property," he said. "That's toxic." He pushed for solutions that didn't rest solely on Serena, suggesting the property could be sold or her parents could move back and live in it.
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The conversation circled back to marriage itself. Ramsey reminded Serena that her husband had said the vows knowingly, but stressed that obligations to extended family needed to be clear before walking down the aisle. "He did say the vows at the altar that said for richer for poorer… did he mean it?" Ramsey asked. But he drew a line: vows bind two people, not an entire family tree.
What unfolded was more than a budgeting problem. It was a case study in what happens when marital commitment collides with longstanding family responsibility. Serena wanted to honor both, but Ramsey sided firmly with the husband. "I would have to be willing to take care of your mom and dad," he said, "but not when no one else is participating — including your mom and dad."
For Serena, the debt may be manageable. For her marriage, the real challenge is whether seven siblings and a piece of family property remain off-limits, or whether vows are enough to cover obligations that extend far beyond the couple themselves.
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