Calories that don't count:
_ The evened-off corner of an uneven piece of cake or loaf of bread
_ An after-dinner mint
_ Anything sugar-free, even if it is loaded with other fattening ingredients
_ Anything fat-free, even if it is loaded with sugar
_ Cake crumbs
_ Bread crumbs
_ Cookie crumbs
_ Pie crumbs
_ Basically, any crumbs
_ Anything eaten after your regular bedtime
_ Any treat you share with your dog
_ Any treat you would share with your dog, if you had one
_ The entire first meal after you weigh yourself and are surprised to see that you have lost weight
_ Your children's leftover food, because you're helping to fight the problem of food waste
_ A lone french fry in the bottom of the bag
_ Anything you eat in a car that isn't fast food
_ Anything you drink to replenish yourself after exercising
_ Also, maybe a post-exercise cookie
_ Raw vegetables, even when dipped in ranch dressing
_ Ice cream eaten in your car outside the gym
_ Any treat purchased at a coffee shop if you stopped in really intending to only have the coffee
_ Unless the coffee drink ends in "-iato" or "-uccino"
_ Any food stolen off your spouse's or significant other's plate
_ If you can't remember how many drinks you've had, the drinks that you can't remember
_ Food eaten after a breakup
_ Anything eaten while reading
_ Popcorn at the movies
_ Food eaten at grandma's house
_ Food on your birthday
_ Food on your spouse's birthday
_ Food on your kids' birthday
_ Food on your dog's birthday (again, if you have a dog)
_ Vacation food
_ Anything eaten on deadline
_ Lollipops at the doctor's office
_ Halloween candy stolen from your kids' bags
_ Samples at the supermarket
_ Doughnuts brought into the office, especially if your office is a newsroom
Post-Dispatch staff writers Aisha Sultan and Valerie Schremp Hahn contributed to this column.
