OK, so I was fuming last week but last night’s Dancing On Ice left me apoplectic with rage.
It was the semi-final and, like a football match, it was a game of two halves.
By the time the final whistle blew the only words we were chanting were ‘Foul!’ ‘Fix’ and ‘What the F***’.
If I had been in the audience I would led an ice invasion demanding answers to this debacle and throwing red cards all over the place.
The four remaining skaters, Ben, Libby, Perri and Joe had to first perform a solo then a personal skate.
The first half was pretty tame. It was so quiet that my internet stopped working halfway and I didn’t notice because there were so few comments online about the show.
The stand out performance for me was Perri in that he was outstandingly average. Even his mate Ashley gave him a low-ish 9.
I agreed with his assessment that this had been Perri’s worst skate, beyond boring. It was like he was deliberately trying to be rubbish for some mysterious reason.
Even so he was over-marked by the other judges and Chris gave him a ten, I don’t know why. Just to be annoying, probably.
Solo skates are always harder for the females as they can’t get carried around.
Plus, I don’t know if it has been mentioned at all but Libby has problems with her eyesight, which makes it doubly difficult for her.
I’m not having a go. Libby is an inspiration, she’s brave, courageous, an outstanding athlete, a trooper but is she an amazing skater?
Her partner was hovering over her throughout her solo skate like an overanxious helicopter parent on his daughter’s first day at nursery.
She got two tens and half of Twitter was up in arms. Some were in tears at her achievements but there were tears of frustration from others, including me.
Isn’t it slightly patronising that this Olympian is treated like a child on the ice? Yes, it is. Stop it.
The second half where the celebs had to do a personal skate was way more interesting.
Joe reduced me tears with his tribute to his father and we were treated to surely what was the highlight of the series; Mick Hucknall, lead singer of Simply Red, standing by his patio.
A sight to behold and knocks Ben’s previous FaceTime call from Cliff Richard into a cocked hat.
The second highlight- after Mick Hucknall- was Perri’s personal skate.
He FINALLY pulled it out of the bag with a truly mesmerising, flawless emotive number that had us blubbing at its beauty. Perfection and well worth all the tens.
I thought Ben’s personal skate was amazing too, the way he flung his partner Carlotta over his shoulders was masterful and I really wanted him to get all tens.
But for some mysterious reason the judges were very nit-picky and marked him harshly.
Let’s face it, Ben could have landed a quintuple lutz, a quadruple axel and a triple toe loop and he would have still been in the skate-off.
Joe was a shoe-in for the final, he’s ITV royalty what with his partner Stacey being a Loose Woman.
So it was Ben and Libby in the skate off.
Only John Barrowman spoke any sense and that’s not a sentence I thought I would ever write. He said he would put Ben through. But the other judges and the producers had other plans.
In my opinion putting Libby through ahead of the better skater Ben was a massive own goal.
Social media reacted with fury at this injustice and #IStandWithBen started trending in my head.
Viewers have been put off and are threatening to boycott the final.
One tweet pointed out that Libby could be in a skate off with Torvill and Dean themselves and she would still get through.
This has been the most bizarre series in the history of Dancing On Ice and there is still one week left to go.
We think it’s all over.
