THREE COINS IN THE FOUNTAIN
With the threat of violence ever-present around Liverpool’s Big Cup semi-final second leg against Roma on Wednesday night, Liverpool fans have been warned they could be kept inside the Stadio Olimpico until 1am afterwards to reduce the risk of post-match trouble. Of course Liverpool’s players can do their bit to alleviate the tedium of this “long hold back” by booking their place in the final, a job they should have wrapped up at Anfield instead of dozing off at 5-0 up and letting Roma score two late goals.
Still in the box-seat to advance to a final which Real Madrid’s almost supernaturally good luck coupled with Jürgen Klopp’s record of five consecutive defeats in cup deciders suggests they will lose, Liverpool must avoid emulating the capitulation of Barcelona, who somehow contrived to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in a similar position against the Giallorossi in the previous round. In a season where the post-Christmas stages of Big Cup have been more knock-about than knock-out, it is this crazy victory more than anything to which Roma are clinging in their bid to convince themselves all hope is not yet lost. “We know it will be difficult but it was difficult against Barcelona and we did it,” growled Roma’s coach Eusebio Di Francesco. “We’re going to play a [Big Cup] semi-final in front of 70,000 people; are you expecting a team that will just surrender?”
While the match is a sell-out, there will be one conspicuously empty seat in the Stadio Olimpico as Liverpool assistant manager Zeljko Buvac, who has worked with Klopp for 17 years, will not be alongside him in their dug-out. The Brain to Klopp’s Pinky, Buvac was granted temporary leave by the club earlier this week for personal or professional reasons that remain unclear. While one tabloid has portrayed Klopp as “moody”, “pr1ckly” and “forlorn” in Buvac’s absence as he oversaw Tuesday’s training, The Fiver doesn’t feel sufficiently qualified to build such a complex psychological profile from the sight of one bloke standing alone with his arms folded as he watches several others stretch their legs. “Whatever you write or whatever I say, we still have to play,” he had said previously in his pre-match briefing, demonstrating a basic grasp of football protocol which suggests he won’t be entirely helpless in the regrettable absence of his right-hand man.
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Join Jacob Steinberg from 7.45pm BST for hot MBM coverage of Roma 2-1 Liverpool (agg: 4-6).
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“They told me in our WhatsApp group that Jesus is coming to save us. It was a surprise, like a dream. I would have preferred that Rochdale are in a better position to stay in the league, but I think it is possible they can stay up. I am excited to go there, for the atmosphere and being with the fans” – Jesus Sanchez, who discovered the club while playing Fifa, is flying over to watch their last game of the season against Charlton after Dale fans clubbed together to pay for him to come because they believe he will bring them good luck.
THE FIVEЯ
Yes, it’s our not-singing, not-dancing World Cup Fiver. Out every Thursday lunchtime BST, here’s the latest edition, on Belgium.
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FIVER LETTERS
“The Pope’s Newc O’Rangers are looking for a manager? There’s a new lad available who relishes a challenge. He has form in bringing classy football to fallen giant clubs in once-impressive nations. And he advocates top nutrition to thwart the pint-and-pie-and-fried-Mars-bar culture. Meet Arsène Wenger. Can’t wait for planes trailing brogue-infused banners with ‘Arsène Oooot!’” – Mike Wilner.
“What’s all this nonsense stuff about the Great Glaswegian team’s nicknames (Fiver letters passim). Surely that ultimate accolade is the (other) fans’ favourite: ‘Partick Thistle Nil.’ Or am I mixing that up with their official name from the 1970s? It’s what they were called Saturday afternoons on Grandstand as I recall from my youth” – Stuart Doughty.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Mike Wilner.
THE RECAP
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Crystal Palace academy director Gary Issott has resumed his duties at the club after being suspended while an investigation into allegations of poor practice against him was conducted. “The safeguarding framework for the club has proved effective,” said chairman Steve Parish.
Oliver Kahn had some comforting words for Sven Ulreich after the Bayern keeper’s howler helped Real Madrid qualify for their 457th Big Cup final. “It was a co-ordination dysfunction, a total blackout, a blatant error,” he soothed.
$tevie Mbe says he’s had “positive talks” with the Pope’s Newc O’Rangers about taking over as manager. “I’ll pick it up on Thursday and we’ll see if we can progress it,” he droned, sounding about as enthusiastic as you would expect.
Eleven Sports, founded by Nasty Leeds owner Andrea Radrizzani, has snaffled live La Liga rights from Sky.
A boozer in Burnley that is in no way trying to drum up extra business will be renamed The Royal Dyche if the club qualifies for Big Vase. “At the time it was a little joke and next thing you know it’s all real. Everyone thought it was brilliant. Everyone’s excited,” cheered Justine Lorriman, landlady of the Princess Royal.
The government will throw its weight behind the FA’s sale of Wembley to Shahid Khan if it guarantees that England matches will be played at the soulless cavern for generations to come.
And Harry Kane is definitely over it. “The FA tweet was a silly tweet,” he tooted. “We all know that. I talked to the gaffer about it and all we said was: ‘Would other countries do that to their players?’ Probably not. It is something that has gone. Two weeks ago now or whatever – I am over it. I am a guy that gets over things … It’s strange, maybe it’s a mentality thing. It is easier nowadays maybe to b@nter England players or take the mickey out of the England players. So if we don’t do well in the World Cup, then they can write and say: ‘We told you so.’”
STILL WANT MORE?
How I deciphered Silent Witness … using football and a spreadsheet. It’s Jonathan Wilson’s Sistine Chapel!
Roma and Liverpool would fancy their chances of landing a knockout blow on Real Madrid’s elegant glass jaw, writes Barney Ronay.
$tevie Mbe must realise he would be pitching up at the OK Corral with a utensil from the Early Learning Centre if he took the O’Rangers job, gasps Ewan Murray.
“It is an absolute travesty.” Proper Journalism’s David Conn reports on Chesterfield’s dismal fall from the Football League.
If you woke up wondering which champions have had only one player in the PFA team of the year, then this week’s The Knowledge will be right up your street.
Burton looked jiggered and heading down a fortnight ago but three wins in a row have put Nigel Clough’s side within sight of a Championship miracle, explains Ben Fisher.
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