Classical singer Russell Watson has revealed he considered taking his own life during his brain tumour battle.
The tenor, 58, was diagnosed with a pituitary tumour in 2006, after suffering with excruciating headaches for months.
But the Lancashire-born musician, who married long-term partner Louise Harris in 2015, said it was thinking of his two daughters which made him reconsider suicide.
Speaking to Kaye Adams on her How To Be 60 podcast, he said: “My whole world came crashing down and the pain got worse — everything was exacerbated with the news of what he’d just told me.
“I was staying in a hotel in Beverly Hills and I was on the eighth floor and it was the first time I’d ever felt this way.
“I can’t explain the pain — I’ve never felt anything like it before or since — it was like a dagger being pressed into the centre of my head and twisted.”
He added: “It was excruciating and for one moment I stood on my hotel balcony. I literally just thought: ‘f**k this, I’ve had enough”.’ And I felt like jumping.
“And then the thought of the children entered my head and they were little girls then — they’re not going to manage without me. Back in the room. Went and lay on the bed, rinsed my face with cold water and took the pain on.”
Russell had tumour-removal surgeries in 2006 and 2007, one which went through his nose and a secondary operation through the back of the lip after he had a haemorrhage in his sleep because of the tumour growing back again.
Watson, who lives in Congleton in Cheshire, still takes “lifesaving medication”.
I felt like jumping
“I’ll be taking a lifetime of replacement drugs and hormones for as long as I’m here, predominantly to my pituitary gland which was pretty much decimated, so there’s a constant reminder,” he explained.
"I have to take daily injections and tablets, particularly hydrocortisone, which I was told if I didn’t take for a specific amount of time I wouldn’t be here anymore. It’s the lifesaving drug for me and growth hormones."
Recently speaking about his experience on Good Morning Britain, Russell said the experience taught him to “never take anything for granted again” and that the relationship with his daughters and partner “blossomed” afterwards.
“I think when you become aware of your own mortality as well, the experiences that you have in life become more heightened,” he said.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
