Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Letters

Childbirth is often a lonely and frightening experience

Woman Giving Birth
‘We need to treat those who give birth with dignity, empathy and respect.’ Photograph: gorodenkoff/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett’s article really moved me (A third of new mothers are traumatised by childbirth, but there’s one easy way to help, 30 May). I am a rational, sensible person who has weathered my fair share of storms, but pregnancy caused me such anxiety that I had an elective caesarean because I was so certain my baby was going to die. I even wrote this on what is inaccurately called a “birth plan” (everything else I asked for on the plan was refused, even my request for my husband to be allowed to hold our son).

I was terrified during the operation. I had asked to be kept informed about what was happening, but no one told me anything except a kindly anaesthetist who could see that I was frightened and took pity on me. I haemorrhaged badly. A nurse berated me when I struggled to breastfeed my baby at 3am. Another nurse shouted at me in front of other patients when I tried to go to the toilet.

And yet I consider myself lucky, considering what could have happened. Medics need to understand that childbirth, whether vaginal or caesarean, is often a very frightening and lonely experience. Despite the overwhelming pressure that the midwives were under, they were the only ones (besides the anaesthetist) who treated me with compassion and warmth.
Name and address supplied

• Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett’s piece struck a chord with me. My twins were born more than 25 years ago, but I felt helpless and frankly a bit of a nuisance. After 21 hours of labour, I was begging the obstetrician for a caesarean. I was convinced that something was wrong and told him so, in tears. He shouted at me that this was his decision to make.

As if on cue, my second twin’s heartbeat stopped (the first baby was already stuck in my birth canal). Immediate pandemonium – Joe was delivered via ventouse (and left with a bruise like a yarmulke on his tiny head); Matthew (footling breech) was hauled out by the feet, grey and lifeless, and – thanks to an excellent midwife and paediatrician – resuscitated. The obstetrician apologised as I was being stitched back together.

The boys survived, and so did I, with severe postnatal depression. Childbirth is dangerous, the most life-threatening “natural” event in a human’s life. We need to treat those who give birth with dignity, empathy and respect.
Nicola Bramah-Taylor
Clunton, Shropshire

• We have known for a long time what works to help prevent post-traumatic stress disorder following childbirth. It’s called “relational continuity of carer”, and it’s how I and my colleagues practised in the innovative Albany midwifery practice in south London between 1997 and 2009. Getting to know a woman in your care, looking forward to her birth with her, supporting her through the birth and during those important early postnatal weeks – all these contribute to feelings of safety that are sadly lacking in our current maternity service.

Our midwifery practice was celebrated in the Guardian (A happy birthday every day, 24 July 2007), and was thought to be the future of midwifery care. Just over two years later it was closed down by the trust. Closure, a book telling the story – by me and a colleague, Nadine Edwards – will be published this autumn. We ignore the evidence around relational continuity at our peril.
Becky Reed
London

Have an opinion on anything you’ve read in the Guardian today? Please email us your letter and it will be considered for publication.

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.