Clown Prime Minister Boris Johnson reached for the joke list with a lightweight speech designed to distract from the Brexit disaster unfolding across the country.
In a rambling speech to the Conservative party conference in Manchester, he sought to hit a feel-good note with cringing gags and bizarre references to history and his cabinet colleagues.
In a 44 minute oration, the PM Invoked the spirit of Margaret Thatcher as he promised to address a “long-term structural weakness” in the British economy.
Speaking as if the Conservatives had not been in power for a decade of austerity, Johnson used his platform to say only he has the “guts” to reshape society by addressing issues which had been dodged by previous administrations.
He made barely a mention of Scotland, but promised to “restore those sinews of the union that have been allowed to atrophy” in a reference to the A1 and A75 roads, the latter of which connects to the ferry to Northern Ireland.
And in a lame joke at the expense of SNP Westminster leader Ian Blackford, the Tory leader highlighted the roll-out of high speed broadband across the UK -which the Scottish Government is responsible for north of the Border.
Johnson said of the Highland MP: “He has been telling the Commons that he is nothing but a humble crofter on Skye... now we have fibre optic broadband of high quality we can inspect the library, or is it perhaps the billiard room, of Blackford’s croft”.
It was one of a series of gags, ranging from “build back beaver” punchline on the environment and a “Jon Bon Govey” nickname for disco-dancing cabinet Minister Michael Gove.
In a speech with only one new policy announcement, a premium for teachers who move to tough areas, Johnson sought to cheerlead the nation into a better mood.
With shortages of lorry drivers and other workers hitting supply chains, leading to empty shelves and queues at petrol stations, Johnson defended his strategy of restricting the supply of cheap foreign labour after Brexit.
Despite a looming National Insurance rise for millions of workers in April to fund a £12 billion annual investment in health and social care, Johnson insisted his new approach would ultimately create a “low-tax economy”.
“That’s the direction in which the country is going now – towards a high-wage, high-skilled, high-productivity and, yes, thereby a low-tax economy. That is what the people of this country need and deserve.”
Ian Blackford hit back immediately at the lightweight tone of the speech, saying: “This is not a prime minister to take us through a cost of living crisis.”
The SNP's Westminster leader claimed “cruel and callous” cuts to benefits would be hitting home as the Prime Minister took the applause from his Manchester audience.
Blackford said: “His government, his DWP Secretary is cutting Universal Credit this week putting people into the situation that they are going to have to make hard choices, with prices rising, as to whether or not they put food on the table or heat their homes.”
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