Adam Collins on Steve Smith:
Ali Martin on Jonny Bairstow:
Here’s Vic Marks’s day two report from the Waca:
Updated
Close: Australia 200 behind
62nd over: Australia 203-3 (Smith 92, S Marsh 7) Broad asks some good questions, albeit not as good as the one from Ben Thompson, and the batsmen find solid answers. That’s the end of a pulsating day.
England made hay for an hour, as Malan and Bairstow’s storming partnership stretched to 237 – a record for any England wicket at the Waca. They then collapsed as only they can, losing six wickets for 35 to a barrage of bouncers. Australia were first watchful, then imperious, then cut down to size by Craig Overton – only for Steve Smith to take control, just as he did in Brisbane. With Overton injured, England stuck at it and the old ball was never cannon fodder, but Smith knows that he can take the game away from them tomorrow. Gary Naylor reckons he’ll get 300.
An email entitled “Venn zen” arrives from Michael Keane. “In response to all the people who are being massaged in the tropics, it may interest you to know that I’m on a delayed Victoria Line train on the London Underground. It was cold and dark when I awoke and turned on TMS just after the lunch interval and now I’m going to work. At Lord’s admittedly, but still work.”
And one more, from Jaap van Netten. “Dear Tim and OBO colleagues, Thanks so much.” It’s our pleasure. “Three years ago I discovered cricket while travelling through Australia. Within a few weeks, I went from listening to the radio during my roadtrip, to watching on tv for days, to sitting at the G on Boxing day. Now I’m in miserable rainy Netherlands, and there’s no one to discuss wickets or centuries with me in miles (or actually, kilometers) around me. But: I’ve discovered OBO, which has raised my enjoyment like Dawid’s enjoyment raised from the second test to where it is now. Back to work.”
The last word goes to Andy Zaltzman, comedian and scorer. “1st innings in the 3 Tests so far,” he tweets. “Smith: 273 for 1. Root & Cook: 90 for 6.” It’s not just Donald Trump who’s trying to take us back to the Thirties.
Thanks for reading, and for a bumper crop of emails. Massages all round.
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61st over: Australia 202-3 (Smith 91, S Marsh 7) Moeen races through his over, happy to be dealing with Marsh after Smith takes a single, so there will be one more from Broad.
“Hmm,” wonders Ben Thompson. “Would I exchange a coffee enema to see Steve Smith dismissed next ball?” In 140 years of Test cricket, this may be the first time that question has been posed.
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60th over: Australia 201-3 (Smith 90, S Marsh 7). Broad keeps it tight, but Smith still nicks a single off the last ball. There’s one over left, so even he will be hard pushed to make a hundred.
Gary Naylor is back for more. “The two Aussies at the crease both average over 100 to go with four bowlers averaging less than 31. Australia are winning The Ashes with six men and a keeper who can catch.” By that reckoning, how many players do England have?
59th over: Australia 200-3 (Smith 89, S Marsh 7) Root brings back Moeen, and Marsh is dropped. A nudge to short leg, a ricochet off Vince’s boot, a half-chance for Bairstow... Difficult, but not impossible.
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58th over: Australia 200-3 (Smith 89, S Marsh 7) Woakes gives way to Broad, who needs to produce one of his hot spells. It doesn’t come right away, as Smith helps himself to a two and a single, and Marsh finally gets a gimme on his legs, to bring up the 200. The Aussies have their noses in front now.
An email from Dileep Premachandran, former editor of Wisden India. “Can’t claim to be in Bali, but Bangalore today has beautiful blue sky and 27C. And on the way back home from my daughter’s school, I’m balancing the Ashes live stream with the audiobook of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
“Come to think of it, with his various tics and mannerisms, SPD Smith would make a very good Willy Wonka. And like Wonka’s factory, he sets the standard for the rest of the world, when it comes to a Test batting anyway. Smith v Kohli (in India, no less) was a no-contest. So far, Smith v Root has been too.”
57th over: Australia 194-3 (Smith 86, S Marsh 4) Off his 18th delivery, Marsh finally gets some runs – via the edge, as Anderson finds some away-swing to the left-hander. From his 14 overs, Anderson has none for 31: admirable in its way, but England need more than mere thrift.
Rob Petersen joins the metrosexual fray. “I can’t claim to be in a spa, but I am: a) in Bali, b) called Petersen, albeit with an ‘e’ instead of an ‘o’, c) taking a break from my yoga practice to email you this missive. What are the chances, eh? Eh?”
56th over: Australia 189-3 (Smith 85, S Marsh 0) Marsh thinks he’s off the mark, after 14 balls, but it’s four leg byes. Woakes has one for five off four overs in this spell, rising to the occasion after Overton’s injury.
“Getting very interesting in the #Ashes with that third wicket,” says David Pearce. “Khawaja always seems set for a big score but never quite goes on. Am I alone in thinking that Woakes and Overton could easily take over from Broad and Anderson in the next 18 months or so?” They could, though England may need more in the way of raw pace – which could come from Jamie Overton, Craig’s twin.
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55th over: Australia 184-3 (Smith 84, S Marsh 0) Anderson gets what he wants – a whole over at Marsh – but doesn’t pass the bat.
An email entitled simply “Venn” arrives from Richard Mansell. “I am reading OBO while having a coffee enema in Bamako, Mali. Do I win?” You stand a very good chanc.
54th over: Australia 184-3 (Smith 84, S Marsh 0) Woakes has two square legs for Smith, trying to turn a strength into a weakness. It doesn’t work, because Smith simply bisects them. Highly unorthodox and utterly insatiable, he is one of the wonders of the sporting world.
53rd over: Australia 180-3 (Smith 80, S Marsh 0) Anderson keeps the pressure on, helped by his old mate Broad, who dives to make a good stop at mid-off. A man down, not to mention two Tests, England are showing some fight here.
Updated
52nd over: Australia 179-3 (Smith 79, S Marsh 0) Woakes doesn’t just make the breakthrough, he tests Shaun Marsh with a full length and some movement, maybe even a hint of reverse. That’s a wicket maiden to end an excellent partnership of 124.
An email from Kat Peterson. “Hello from a spa in Bali, where I’m having a manicure and following the OBO (likely a Venn intersection of one). If we manage to get any wickets tonight (here’s hoping) I promise to attempt to explain the concept to the nail technician.” The wicket has come, Kat. And you win the prize for the most unexpected dateline. But that Venn remark is surely a gauntlet thrown down to The Guardian’s more metrosexual readers.
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Wicket! Khawaja lbw Woakes 50 (Australia 179-3)
It was close, but not close enough to save Khawaja, because it was umpire’s call – on height, naturally. And England have a wicket not taken by Overton. That makes things much more interesting.
Review! For lbw, Woakes to Khawaja
Khawaja is given out, it looks good but Smith wants a review...
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51st over: Australia 179-2 (Khawaja 50, Smith 79) A lovely guide for four from Smith off Moeen, and then Khawaja drives a single to go to a hard-fought fifty.
50th over: Australia 173-2 (Khawaja 49, Smith 74) Woakes returns with a maiden to Khawaja. He finishes with a slower ball, very full, which Geoff Boycott reckons is an off-cutter. Interesting if so: that’s what England tend to bowl on the subcontinent, on surfaces that are the exact opposite of this one.
Gary Naylor, on Twitter, picks up on John Phaceas’ point from the 47th over. “The upstart colonials giving it to the Brits is more Hamilton than The Last Jedi, isn’t it? There’s even an unorthodox, aggressive, driven outsider who should be taking the Aussie cannons...”
49th over: Australia 173-2 (Khawaja 49, Smith 74) And here is Moeen. He’s not so hot to the right-hander: too short, and Smith cuts for two; too full, and he clips for two more.
Another email from Perth. This is like coals to Newcastle, but better. “It seems,” says Nicholas Parkinson, “that Smith today is doing exactly what Malan did yesterday and what I was religiously told as a junior cricketer – respect the good balls and punish the bad.” Very true. “Perhaps cricket isn’t as complex as we sometimes make it out to be? But then we wouldn’t have anything to talk about, and long-form sportswriters wouldn’t have anything to write about.” Oh I wouldn’t go that far. Sport is like life, sometimes simple, more often so complex that you could write about it for ever.
48th over: Australia 169-2 (Khawaja 49, Smith 70) Overton resumes, but he’s reduced to military medium and Smith, ruthless as ever, cashes in. Ten off the over, and it’s odd that Overton carried on. He leaves the field now. Moeen is going to have to bowl more than Root intended; it could be a bruising last hour.
The physio is on
Craig Overton’s in pain again, feeling his ribs. Is this Sod’s law, or Murphy’s?
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47th over: Australia 159-2 (Khawaja 44, Smith 65) Anderson’s over is a carbon copy of Overton’s: four dots, a single from Khawaja and a boundary from Smith, a cut rather than a pull.
“Perth local here,” says John Phaceas. “Have just got back from an Xmas function and am really enjoying the cricket. Have to say that England’s collapse today from a position of strength seems entirely appropriate, given I will shortly be taking the family to opening night of The Last Jedi – the latest chapter in a story as old as time in which the anti-establishment rebels fight back from adversity to destroy the evil Empire, just when they were getting smug.” Nice one – the acceptable face of Star Wars.
46th over: Australia 154-2 (Khawaja 43, Smith 61) Overton returns, Khawaja pulls for a single, and that’s the 150 up. The third fifty was the slowest, coming off 111 balls, but the fourth is already under way as Smith pulls for four. England, whose innings was all about one great partnership, are getting a dose of their own medicine.
45th over: Australia 149-2 (Khawaja 42, Smith 57) A maiden from Anderson, and that’s drinks. The last hour belonged to Steve Smith, who has kept out the good balls and lacerated the bad ones.
Gary Naylor’s point is picked up by Tom Davies of The Guardian, who wonders why these commentators talk so much and links to Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode. Safe to say, that isn’t KP’s idea of fun. Pinter he is not.
44th over: Australia 149-2 (Khawaja 42, Smith 57) A clip for four from Khawaja off Woakes. And Gary Naylor’s not happy with the commentators. “Why are KP and Ponting going after Usman Khawaja? He’s 34* with the best batsman in the world at the other end. If he’s 44* at the close he’s done his job. Lots of ex-player pundits are too impatient - perhaps they don’t enjoy watching the game as much as we do.”
43rd over: Australia 145-2 (Khawaja 38, Smith 57) Anderson keeps Smith honest until the last ball of the over, which is cover-driven for another handsome four.
Mark White emails from humid Sydney. “I’ve a couple of queries – can you help? This Overton dude looks handy,
why wasn’t he in the starting 11 from the first Test? He’s the only
English bowler who looks like taking a wicket. And did you notice the
smile on Steve Smith’s face after he somehow hit Broad for 4 onside from
well outside the off stump a few overs ago? Is that smile potentially
dangerous for England?” It is. And Overton, well, they had faith in Jake Ball, who is quite similar. But they did switch after one Test. And both of there standing in for Toby Roland-Jones, whose highly promising Test career has been interrupted by injury.
42nd over: Australia 141-2 (Khawaja 38, Smith 53) Khawaja has been waiting for the bad ball and it finally arrives in the form of a short wide one from Woakes, slapped through gully for four.
41st over: Australia 136-2 (Khawaja 34, Smith 52) Anderson to Khawaja, so it’s another maiden. England are trying to bowl dry, as they say: not easy on a bouncy pitch with a fast outfield.
40th over: Australia 136-2 (Khawaja 34, Smith 52) Woakes bowls a maiden to Smith, who may be catching his breath before the second fifty. His conversion rate is scary. England’s best hope may be a review: CricViz has worked out that Root is the best reviewer among the current Test captains, with a 34% success rate.
39th over: Australia 136-2 (Khawaja 34, Smith 52) Anderson to Khawaja, which means a row of dots.
An email from Robyne Sears. “I’m reading your commentary and enjoying it very much from Spain, and relaying the scores to an Englishman dining in the skytower in New Zealand. Truly an international game for us. As an Aussie in a country that doesn’t do cricket you are helping me keep my sanity, hope Smith gets a ton!” England fans might give you that, just as long as it’s a baby hundred, and the Marsh brothers don’t emulate it.
38th over: Australia 136-2 (Khawaja 34, Smith 52) Woakes keeps it tight until he just overpitches in the channel. Smith helps himself from the buffet and that’s his fifty. It’s been a masterclass, reinventing the captain’s innings as a counter-attack.
Kim Thonger’s email about diabetes prompts another from John Starbuck. “The way to become diabetic is to stop playing cricket and just follow it via the OBO.” Ouch. “This happened to me, but I bear no grudges about it. About the England performance, that’s another matter.”
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37th over: Australia 131-2 (Khawaja 33, Smith 48) A couple of singles off Anderson, who has been immaculate without offering much threat.
36th over: Australia 129-2 (Khawaja 32, Smith 47) A double change from Joe Root, who banishes Broad and summons Woakes. He immediately finds Smith’s edge, but the bat is angled down and there’s no third slip, because Smith has been so fluent. Then Khawaja edges too, and is missed by Root at second slip. He barely saw it and just waved. Both waving and drowning?
“Hi Tim!” Hi Priya Mehta! “My husband and I took a sabbatical from work in London to ensure I made it to Brisbane in time to watch the first test, and boy am I glad we did. Fake ‘fixing’ news and fallen wickets aside, the Ashes is yet again delivering on its promised entertainment. The Guardian’s commentary is saving my sanity down here on our road trip through NZ... Though I’m not sure what the rollercoaster from hope to turmoil is doing for my sanity again today! All the best for the rest!”
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35th over: Australia 124-2 (Khawaja 28, Smith 46) Anderson returns, at last, and keeps Khawaja quiet. The same can’t be said for the Barmy Army, who are singing for England, and possibly drinking for them too.
An email from Kim Thonger, intriguingly titled Diabetes. “When I went to sleep last night with England nicely poised on at 330ish for 4, I would have happily accepted Marmite on my toast. But now I feel compelled to reach for the marmalade. So if I become diabetic later in life it will be the England tail’s fault. I may sue them at some stage.”
34th over: Australia 124-2 (Khawaja 28, Smith 46) Broad strains for the yorker, and Smith clips him for an imperious four. A better ball, also on the stumps, yields the same result as Smith somehow shovels it through square leg. He has an amazing eye.
“Hello,” says Stephen Davenport. “From wherever I am, per your request. Which is Indianapolis, Indiana, at 2:43am Eastern. In the last two days I’ve witnessed first-hand the Pacers lose for the first time in a while, the Colts lose, with rather greater inevitability, and from afar the England tail collapse. I fully expect my sporting faith to be restored by England skittling the Aussies for 202 and, back home, Stockport County winning away at Lancaster City, at the best-named stadium in all of non-league football (and perhaps all of football or indeed sport): the Giant Axe.”
33rd over: Australia 116-2 (Khawaja 28, Smith 38) A couple of singles off Moeen, who is matching Nathan Lyon for the first time in the series, without a wicket to show for it.
32nd over: Australia 114-2 (Khawaja 27, Smith 37) Broad suddenly remembers that he’s a senior player and bowls a maiden to Smith, which is no mean feat at the moment.
A question from Tom van der Gucht. “Are England as obsessed with sticking to plans as they were during the Flower era? In the run up to the tests, Overton put his hand up and stood out as being one of England’s more penetrative bowlers, only to be dropped for Ball as it was always their plan to pick him first... Since he’s replaced Ball, he’s duly stood up as being, perhaps, our most effective player. Surely, if they’d trusted their own eyes and judgement, Overton should have played in the first test too (ahead of Ball, who had an underwhelming match) and, if he had, the series may be closer than it currently is. Obviously, there are a lot of ifs in this, but he seems to be performing in a similar manner to Tremlett and bringing something different to the attack – not lightning pace, but enough bounce and movement to cause problems.” Have you thought about applying to be a selector, Tom?
31st over: Australia 114-2 (Khawaja 27, Smith 37) Four more for Khawaja, but it’s a moral victory for Moeen, who draws the edge and would have a wicket if there’d been a gully. This game is beautifully balanced.
30th over: Australia 110-2 (Khawaja 23, Smith 37) Another bad ball from Broad, a long hop outside off which Smith cuffs for four. Broad, Anderson and Cook are making a little bit of history in this match – the first trio not including Sachin Tendulkar to play 100 Tests together for any country. And so far they’ve marked the occasion by doing nothing at all.
Updated
29th over: Australia 106-2 (Khawaja 23, Smith 33) Moeen puts the plug back in. But it’s hard to see why Anderson isn’t bowling.
28th over: Australia 105-2 (Khawaja 23, Smith 32) Smith’s six is followed by a four from Khawaja, cutting. That’s a limp over from Broad, and Australia are half-way to avoiding the follow-on.
Updated
Six!
Smith lofts Broad to fine leg, just wheree Moeen is waiting – but it’s over his head, sailing on the wind. And that’s the hundred up for Australia.
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27th over: Australia 94-2 (Khawaja 19, Smith 25) Moeen, so tight before tea, loses his length and gives Khawaja a Christmas present, which he pulls for four.
And here’s Paul Harrison. “What is Paul Moody in Cambodia so positive about? He must be drunk, Australian, or both. That collapse has cost England the #ashes.”
A theory from Gary Naylor, picking up on my question from the 21st over. “Why can wicketkeepers do it when specialist batsmen can’t? Might it be their full commitment to horizontal bat shots? Wicketkeeping is a waist high and above game mainly - as is batting at the WACA.”
And a tweet from Paul Moody, accentuating the positive for England. “I’m in Cambodia, on a great island, hanging out. I’m happy with 403, never mind collapse, too many moaners, no ifs and buts.”
26th over: Australia 88-2 (Khawaja 14, Smith 24) Root keeps Overton on for a seventh over, and Smith helps himself to a cover drive and a nudge off the hip. On this pacy pitch, batting is like dancing, all about the hips. But then Overton gets Smith jumping, making the ball rear off a crack, into Smith’s glove and helmet, and almost onto the off stump.
So that’s tea, and the last word in a gripping exchange of skills goes to Craig Overton. He has two for 31 off eight overs, while the more senior seamers have none for 51 off 15. Australia were cautious, then dismissive, and finally a picture of the two, with Smith racing along at a run a ball and Khawaja crawling to 14 off 41. See you shortly.
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25th over: Australia 82-2 (Khawaja 14, Smith 18) Another maiden from Moeen, who is not just pinning Khawaja down, but getting drift too.
A good spot from Simon Wilde of The Sunday Times, on Twitter. “Overton is first England bowler to win an lbw decision in a Perth Test since 2010 when Tremlett and Finn both had Shane Watson lbw. Don’t you miss Shane Watson?”
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24th over: Australia 82-2 (Khawaja 14, Smith 18) Overton keeps it tight until a misfield from Anderson at mid-off gives Khawaja a couple.
A tweet from Sarah Jane Bacon. “Greetings from snowy Leamington Spa. JUST when the weekend’s blanket was melting, more floats down 3.30 this morning. This Perth sun is making me jealous (and if I had pretzels, yes, I’d be thirsty). Cricket-wise, never thought Broady would get Davy out. Damn.” Hard to tell which side she’s on – sign of a good commentator.
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23rd over: Australia 78-2 (Khawaja 11, Smith 17) A maiden from Moeen to Khawaja, which is what Moeen’s confidence needs.
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22nd over: Australia 78-2 (Khawaja 11, Smith 17) Smith eases Overton for four past mid-off, then punches for two into the covers. But Overton squares him up a couple of times too. This is a great little duel.
“So,” wonders Zaph Mann, “what’s Overton doing that’s so different from the duo? During the lunch break I asked should England avoid the short attack due to lack of pace. When does bounce replace shortness?” That’s such a good question, it’s almost philosophical. Overton’s wickets have come through pitching it up, the thing England didn’t manage on the first day at Adelaide.
21st over: Australia 72-2 (Khawaja 11, Smith 11) In a situation that cries out for Jimmy Anderson, Root turns to Moeen Ali. There’s method in his madness, as Usman Khawaja struggles against off-spin. He gets four but it’s streaky, a lap with a strong hint of a top edge.
BT are showing some quick highlights of Jonny Barstow’s excellent hundred. I make it the first by an England right-hander at the Waca since Jack Richards in 1986. Why can wicketkeepers do it when specialist batsmen can’t?
20th over: Australia 68-2 (Khawaja 7, Smith 11) Khawaja takes a single off the hip as Overton threatens to turn back into Clark Kent.
“Morning Tim.” Morning, Martin Wright. “Up early trying to hit a deadline for an article about artificial intelligence. Just got to the tricky bit where I have to explain how robots might replace journalists. England’s tail could have done with some intelligence, artificial or otherwise.”
19th over: Australia 67-2 (Khawaja 6, Smith 11) Joe Root has a plan for Smith: bowl straightish to a leg side field, to get him lbw. But Woakes, usually so amenable, can’t stick to the plan, and Smith creams a back-foot push to the cover boundary. Time for Anderson, surely.
Kim Thonger is emailing again. “I take it back. *Private Fraser voice* I never doubted us for a moment.”
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18th over: Australia 62-2 (Khawaja 6, Smith 7) So Steve Smith comes in. He looks twitchy, as so often, but also busy – a prod for two past slip, a big drive through the covers for four, and flick for a single. That old Test-match ebb and flow, so strong today, is now happening in the space of a single over.
WICKET!! Bancroft lbw Overton 25 (Australia 55-2)
Bancroft gets too far over, and although Overton is tall, he pitched it nice and full, and Marais Erasmus has to change his decision. Great review, and game on.
Updated
Review! For lbw, Overton to Bancroft
Given not out...
17th over: Australia 55-1 (Bancroft 25, Khawaja 6) Woakes continues bowling short, much to the disdain of Michael Vaughan, who feels he just isn’t quick enough.
“Morning Tim,” says Kim Thonger. “Just woke up to see the collapse.” Story of our lives, eh? “I hate to say I told Rob so but (see attached from yesterday) I told Rob so.”
And he attaches this. “If we can get through the new ball I’m reasonably confident (jinx) we can get in excess of 400, but what’s worrying me is how, without a genuine fast bowler, are we going to stop Steve Smith scoring 400 all by himself on this wicket?”
16th over: Australia 53-1 (Bancroft 24, Khawaja 5) Overton beats Khawaja, but then goes a bit too close to his legs, allowing him to tuck and clip. More importantly, Overton is feeling his left side. Ooh dear.
An email lands from David Meiklejohn. “Which took longer, the Indian-Pacific from Sydney to Perth or your commute this morning?” Nice line – I wish I could play along, but the commute was only from the bedroom to the sofa.
15th over: Australia 48-1 (Bancroft 24, Khawaja 0) Bancroft, who has been oozing intent on his home ground, plays a cover push for four, and Woakes concedes his first boundary. A TV graphic shows that he’s either been short or full so far.
14th over: Australia 44-1 (Bancroft 20, Khawaja 0) That’s a big breakthrough – Warner, so restrained lately, was looking like his frisky old self again. And Overton nearly gets another! Khawaja pops it back and Overton, diving to his left, can only just get a hand to it. A fine, fine over from England’s new boy.
WICKET! Warner c Bairstow b Overton 22
Craig Overton gets one to move away from round the wicket and Warner, pinned on the crease, flaps at it. ‘Perfect Waca bowling from Overton,’ says Adam Gilchrist, who oughta know.
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13th over: Australia 44-0 (Bancroft 20, Warner 22) Another tidy over from Woakes, but England need more than neatness. That’s drinks and this is Tim taking over from Adam. Last time I covered a Test in Perth, it was 1991 and I arrived by train from Sydney – an experience that perhaps only a cricket lover could have enjoyed. This time I’m in London. Say hello from wherever you are.
12th over: Australia 40-0 (Bancroft 19, Warner 19) Overton into the attack. In an interview on The Grade Cricketer pod the other day they relayed to me their belief that he’s a dead ringer for Michael Phelps. How’s his lung capacity, though? For the third time in a row they exchange singles, Warner through the posh side then Bancroft off his hip. But encouragingly, the young man gets one to really bounce at the left-hander from around the wicket later in the over, beating his edge and nearly clipping a glove. More, please.
And with that, I hand over to Tim de Lisle. Thanks for your company. Catch you tomorrow.
11th over: Australia 38-0 (Bancroft 18, Warner 18) Sorry about the delay, brief wifi collapse in the press box. Was only half watching as a result. Best to be honest. Four from the Woakes over. A couple of those in byes with a bumper evading YJB’s gloves. It was nice to see Cooky running at full speed towards us to do the tidying up.
10th over: Australia 34-0 (Bancroft 17, Warner 17) “Australia trails by 369” the big screen beams. I wonder what that will look like in a few hours? Broad gets another, changing direction to around the wicket for Warner. He’s happy enough with that arrangement, clipping the first ball fine. Bancroft also scores in that direction. I don’t want to ALARM ANYONE, but this is too easy for Australia right now. The ball will be soft and scuffed soon enough too.
9th over: Australia 32-0 (Bancroft 16, Warner 16) Yep, Woakes is on. Just the two slips. Full and straight. Warner works a single to point. He’s busy. Even with Bancroft now on 16 apiece. The latter gets a bouncer to finish. Wants none of it.
“Hey Adam!” Hi Mittu Choudhary. “I left for work with England looking well poised for a big one, KP talking about how even 500 in the first innings could not save them from losing a test at Adelaide. And what do I see when I access the OBO after reaching work? England all out for 403! They have given away a wonderful opportunity to bat Australia out of the game. I am fuming!”
I suspect that is going to be the experience for a lot of people when they wake up in a couple of hours.
8th over: Australia 31-0 (Bancroft 16, Warner 15) That’s great placement from Bancroft, carving with authority between gully and point. Straight into the hard Waca surface too. Bowlers hate that. Uneventful elsewhere in the Broad over. Suspect there’ll be a double change here. Time for the supporting cast to shine.
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7th over: Australia 27-0 (Bancroft 12, Warner 15) Better bowling to Bancroft, Anderson locating his edge. But as all good openers know, the secret is soft hands. It lands well short of the cordon. For the second over on the bounce five of the six balls are scored off. Granted, the last is from another edge, this time Warner able to keep it down and away for a couple.
I was skeptical about Cricket Related Simpsons Quotes but I think we're getting somewhere.. pic.twitter.com/BAtsHJGabN
— Brett Sprigg (@BrettSprigg) December 15, 2017
6th over: Australia 21-0 (Bancroft 10, Warner 11) Shoooooooot. Bancroft’s on-drive, his first boundary, is the stroke of the match to date. More damaging, the four other deliveries in the Broad over that the pair scored from. Five in six. That’s a very bad sign for England. These two look in. Jimmy urgently needs to make the ball talk from his end.
Sarah Bacon isn’t thrilled with the Barmy Army’s carry on this morning with Nathan Lyon. “The Barmies are singing their drunken hearts out, but not “creating a nice little atmosphere here at the Waca”, as Gilchrist (always looking at the bright side) would have it. Instead, courtesy of the Daily Fail (and shared everywhere, but especially by tabloid-type media groups) using what they can to create their own form of sledging. Attacking Australia’s government (yeah, yeah, she’s our queen too) or our people (crims, convicts; we’ve heard it all before) is one thing, but going for individuals? Like Gazza Lyon’s current … relationship issues? That’s not on. It’s not funny, it’s not entertaining; it’s simply cruel. And it hurts family OFF the pitch as well. Stop it.”
5th over: Australia 12-0 (Bancroft 5, Warner 7) Very competent start from Australia. More to the point, quiet from England. Not doing much wrong, but they don’t have that oomph about them yet. Warner gets the first four of the innings, leaning into a drive down the ground with barely a backswing. That’ll feel good.
Warner blocked that for four. Have to think he’ll make hay here
— Rudi (@RudiEdsall) December 15, 2017
4th over: Australia 5-0 (Bancroft 3, Warner 2) Bancroft collects his second run with a prod to cover. Doesn’t get much of it. And Warner is off the mark now, with the quick single as predicted. From his 11th ball, into cover. Bancroft is the fittest player in the game and has no issue racing to the danger end. He turns the strike over again with a drive to mid-on. Then Warner it four singles in the set, knocked the midwicket. Solid.
Under Corbyn it will become illegal to blame the England number 5 for a batting collapse.
— Phil Makepeace (@SurreyPhil) December 15, 2017
England have broadly maintained a tight line to Warner and Bancroft, but yet again they've been a little too short - they need to adjust for the bounce on this WACA pitch. #Ashes pic.twitter.com/ktAPRLOOah
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 15, 2017
3rd over: Australia 1-0 (Bancroft 1, Warner 0) Jimmy goes ever so close to Warner’s outside edge when pushing. Unusual for Warner to take this long to get off the mark. Yes, it has only been 9 balls, but he’s one of those tip-and-run to begin types. He’s defending well for the rest of the over, pushing firmly to mid-off then cover. Consecutive maidens.
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2nd over: Australia 1-0 (Bancroft 1, Warner 0) It takes a couple of balls, but Broad cranks it up by the end of the over. A maiden to Bancroft, sealed with a bouncer.
England lower order this #Ashes
— Deepu Narayanan (@deeputalks) December 15, 2017
Gabba:
1st inngs - 246/4 to 302/10 (56/6)
2nd inngs - 155/5 to 195/10 (40/5)
Adelaide:
2nd inngs - 169/3 to 233/10 (64/7)
Perth:
1st inngs - 368/4 to 403/10 (35/6)
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1st over: Australia 1-0 (Bancroft 1, Warner 0) The local lad takes the first ball, a huge roar comming from the crowd when his name is announced on the speaker. A touch of movement away, but with soft hands he fashions a push to point to get his day started. Warner immediately forced to play as well
“Regardless of the eventual score I was wondering what method the England bowlers should use,” writes Zaph Mann. “The Aussie short/full would surely fail given the lack of pace. So a ‘good length’ and a 3rd man?”
I don’t think they should be shy. Yesterday’s toughest period, as Dawid Malan explained after play, was more about bounce than pace. Broad can get it to lift. Let’s see, he’s opening up from in front of us now at the Lillee-Marsh Stand End.
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We’re nearly back at the Waca. Kids with flags lining the race for the players to run back out. Interesting conversation about mindset now. Had Joe Root been offered batting four sessions at the toss yesterday, he probably would have taken it. Summed up well by Simon Powell’s email at lunch: “Would you have settled for 400+ before the start of play yesterday, though?” (I am Australian, for what it is worth).
By the middle of today, they could have drove Australia into the ground and just about out of the Test. Now, the hosts are probably favourites. Provided the rain stays away long enough for a result. The test for England, showing the bouncebackability they were so known for in the 2005 contest. If not, this could get ugly and fast. Over to you, Jimmy Anderson.
LUNCH: England collapse, all out 403.
Yes, 6-for-35. Malan and Bairstow were magnificent and flying. Australia were leaking runs and losing their way. Smith was running out of options. Then the left-hander took on Lyon, top-edged, and it was on. Batting with the tail again, Bairstow went from complete control to hectic. His downfall was inevitable. Between times, Moeen edged his second ball. The short ball took care of the bowlers. Now? From nowhere, it is Advantage Australia.
With that news, I’m going to leave you for some lunch. Back shortly. If looking to take your mind off what just happened, have a listen to our chat with Guardian columnist Jason Gillespie from after the Adelaide Test. On a lot more than cricket. He was fantastic.
ENGLAND ALL OUT 403. Broad c Bancroft b Starc 12.
Broad tries to repeat the smack of the previous over, making room for himself. But gets none of it, spooning Starc straight up in the air, taken by the man at short leg. They have lost their last six wickets for 35. What a shocker. A bit more on that in a tic. It is lunch.
115th over: England 403-9 (Broad 12, Anderson 0) Broad hits a MASSIVE SIX off Hazlewood’s first ball. Big swing, perfect contact. Nearly out of the ground at backward square! 104 metres! Whoa! Pushes England to 400 as well. Not the way they fancied getting there, but that’s old news now. Off strike to fine leg, leaving Jimmy with three balls to see off. The barrage continues, Paine doing very well to save four byes when the bowler misdirects. Finishes with a yorker. Anderson up to the task.
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114th over: England 396-9 (Broad 5, Anderson 0) An hour ago England were hoping for 500, now they will be lucky to get 400. Especially if Starc gets it on the stumps. Has a great record doing just that to the tail. Not initially though, Broad backing away and Starc following him with a bouncer. He still managed to lob it over mid-off though, so well played, I guess. Nearly makes it to the rope, in the end they get three. A bit of confusion nearly creates a run out, but they’re still there. Starc continues to short approach, Anderson going inside the line each time in order to leave outside leg by the time the ball arrives. Ducks a bouncer to finish. Bit of a waste there, for mine.
Sam Howard captures the sentiment of my inbox. “Ridiculous. England, having been brilliant all day yesterday, have unstitched all of it in the last 30 minutes. 5 for 25. England should have been at least 450. It’s the hope...”
WICKET! Overton c Bancroft b Hazlewood 2 (England 393-9)
He’s fended a bumper straight into the air, Bancroft completing the catch at short leg. It was on the cards, Broad twice flirting with the man under the lid earlier in the set. Fantastic, accurate short bowling from the Australian. England have lost 5-for-25. Lunch will be delayed, with the visitors nine down. What a mess.
113th over: England 393-9 (Broad 2, Anderson 0)
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112nd over: England 392-8 (Overton 2, Broad 1) Customary boos for Stuart Broad as he arrives. He’s away with a pull behind square. As is Overton, pushing to cover for a couple. Starc goes by his outside edge next up. That’s really moved. A crack, maybe? Good batting from Overton to get his bat out of the way of the final ball of the over.
Oh, and sorry to all those I dismissed earlier for predicting an inevitable England collapse. You were right, I was wrong.
WICKET! Bairstow b Starc 119 (England 389-8)
YJB misses a flick, inside edging onto middle stump. Stump out of the ground. His first ball back into the attack and straight into the book. Tremendous innings, but another poor dismissal. “He wouldn’t have played that shot half an hour ago when batting with Malan,” observes Simon Katich on radio. Not wrong. The collapse is 4/21. England could be all out by lunch and the Waca crowd know it.
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WICKET! Woakes c Cummins b Hazlewood 8 (England 389-7)
Another wonderful catch! Cummins resting down at fine leg makes significant ground, coming forward to complete the take on his knees. It was a flick off the hips from Woakes, he made good contact, but that matters little now. England lose three wickets in a hurry. 15 minutes to lunch. Uh oh.
111th over: England 389-7 (Bairstow 119, Overton 0)
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110th over: England 384-6 (Bairstow 118, Woakes 4) Cummins gets progressively shorter as the over goes on. Woakes is confident enough to have a lash at the fuller stuff, a bit of luck required off an edge but it is another boundary. Plenty of those this morning. Off the mark. By the end of the over he is around the wicket to, sure enough, bounce him.
“In a world where the conspiring forces of last night’s poor decisions and poorly managed deadlines have left me pulling an all-nighter while still feeling the nauseating effects of cheap alcohol,” begins Adam Giles, “it appears that a fantastically verbose coverage of what’s setting out to be a very interesting day is all that is keeping me tethered to sanity. Many thanks. Returning to Robert Wilson’s romantic musings, I’ve always felt that English-Aussie sporting relations have all the intensity of English-Scottish or Aussie-Kiwi, but with not quite so much malice. The underlying (yet often begrudging) respect that underlies such a rivalry is what defines the Ashes, and shows itself best when, regardless of the result, Day 5 stumps is very shortly followed by sharing of the local watering holes. You lads and ladies down under may often be the ones we love to hate, but are just as often the ones we hate to admit that we love. Here’s to a thrilling test.” Well said.
109th over: England 380-6 (Bairstow 118, Woakes 0) Hazlewood is back from the Prindiville Stand End. Good shout. Lyon’s done the job, but have to back the quicks in here. Would have worked immediately if a third slip was there, Bairstow edging a drive. Instead, four goes onto his score. Important he finds a way to do what Smith and Marsh did in the first two tests and eeks out a meaningful lower-order stand. Oh, not with that he won’t, a loose waft beating his edge. But he’s back into stride by the end of the over, securing a second boundary with a far more convincing stroke, carving past point.
108th over: England 372-6 (Bairstow 110, Woakes 0) Woakes gets a bumper first up. Well directed. Ducks competently. Has himself a job to do here. A man around at leg gully, and he’s into the game with the new man fending a second short one. Every ball is into his body. Does well to defend and evade. Wicket maiden.
Brian Withington is here and loving it. Or at least he was when writing this note a couple of overs ago. “What a bloody marvellous moment to see not so YJB score and celebrate his first Ashes century. Don’t need to be an England supporter to appreciate that, just a pulse. Wiping a small tear...”
The Aussies go bang, bang! #Ashes#ohwhatafeeling @Toyota_Aus pic.twitter.com/0p1HmWgJKX
— cricket.com.au (@CricketAus) December 15, 2017
WICKET! Moeen c Smith b Cummins 0 (England 372-6)
Two wickets in four balls! Moeen steers to Smith at second slip, it’s a soft dismissal, and it is game on. Catching practice. A bit of extra bounce maybe, but not that’s all there is. High on the bat, no mistake made by the captain in the cordon. Five minutes ago this was getting ugly for Australia, now they are very much back in business with half an hour to lunch.
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107th over: England 372-5 (Bairstow 110, Moeen 0) Lyon finishes the set to Bairstow, as they crossed. And he gets a boundary tickled to fine leg. Eventful over. And Pete Handscomb jobs to the boundary rope, his little cameo has gone wonderfully. The crowd give him a round of applause as well. He responds with a thumbs up.
WICKET! Malan c Handscomb b Lyon 140 (England 368-5)
From nowhere! Malan tries to take Lyon down the ground but gets a fat leading edge. A magnificent snaffle from Peter Handscomb, the dropped batsman on the field as a sub and taking the catch with a full-stretch dive. Huge standing ovation for the dismissed man. Poor way to get out, “had Australia on their knees” according to Chris Rogers. But that doesn’t diminish his masterful hand.
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106th over: England 368-4 (Malan 140, Bairstow 106) Cummins into his fifth over of this spell by my count. Might need a blow. His pace is still there, a couple of bouncers banged in there at either end of the over. Between times, Bairstow plucks a couple through midwicket. Four maidens to begin this morning, only one since.
105th over: England 366-4 (Malan 140, Bairstow 104) Three more easy singles, on the legside. Nothing doing at all for Lyon here.
This has been a tough innings for Bairstow, facing some high-quality bowling and scoring has been difficult. However, his release zones have been classical, scoring at 4.84rpo through the covers, and 12rpo down to third man. #Ashes pic.twitter.com/JYGU8QWWX5
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 15, 2017
104th over: England 363-4 (Malan 139, Bairstow 102) Cummins starts short then beings the length up to Malan. But a tad too straight, allowing a clip to midwicket. Bairstow does likewise. The dot ball pressure from the first four overs today now long gone. Ticking it over with relative ease.
“Hope you are doing fine in these dark dark times,” emails Stephen Cryan. “Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone out there.” Alone, Together.
We can stay young forever
103rd over: England 361-4 (Malan 138, Bairstow 101) Boutros Boutros-Ghali (Nathan Nathan-Lyon) for his first twist of the day, replacing Marsh. By the end of the summer all the kids will be saying it. Promise. Speaking of, I saw a teenager out the front before play with a t-shirt reading “SMOKING WINNIES, DRINKING TINNIES” with a picture of Warne with a fag in his gob. A couple to Malan, on the front foot driving, to begin. That’s the intent we heard about pre-match when addressing the offie. Another to point, then YJB clips one too. Malan picks up a fifth run in the over to mid-on. “They look in no trouble,” says Chris Rogers on the radio. “This is why they picked Mitch Marsh, because Nathan Lyon cannot control the run-rate the same way at the WACA.” He’s reminded that Marsh has gone for plenty today as well. But his point is sound. This was the venue where Lyon’s confidence took a battering last year.
Robert Wilson before we return:
“I know what Patrick O’Brien (91st Over) is saying but, as a Mick, I’d say that Pom self-deprecation is both comfortable and organic. And played for laughs. The real secret of the Aussie/Brit hypertension is that it is the ghastliest schoolboy crush in politico-cultural history.
In the chill English evenings, I’ve often seen some random Aussie playing the whole downunder deck, going full ocker - despite their PHD in Comparative Philosophy from the Sorbonne. No matter how loudly, obnoxiously or preposterously they play it, there’s never one solitary Brit there who does not desperately pant and pine for the blithe arm around the shoulder and the fulsomely drawled (and richly surprised) You’re awright, mate. It’s very touching but you guys need to get a room.”
102nd over: England 356-4 (Malan 134, Bairstow 100) A more sedade set here. Cummins to Bairstow, defending then ducking. Very good bumper to finish. Maiden. Have a drink, fellas. I will too.
Jonny Bairstow brings up his maiden Ashes ton!
101st over: England 356-4 (Malan 134, Bairstow 100) Short, back, cut, four! Mash cannot bowl there to Bairstow, who is seeing them beautifully. Two behind square makes 99. And there it is! What a wonderful ton! Pulled behind square to get the single he needs. Leaps into the air. THEN HEADBUTTS HIS HELMET IN CELEBRATION! OH, THAT IS BRILLIANT! Take a bow, YJB. Malan joins in the celebration with a slash behind point for four to third man to end the over. “That was junk,” says Nannes of the offering. England making it count. They have put on 225, the highest England stand ever at the WACA. “Heady times,” adds Ali Mitchell.
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100th over: England 345-4 (Malan 130, Bairstow 93) Cummins again. After watching a couple, Malan throws his hands at one outside the off-stump and it runs away to the third man boundary. Everything coming up England here. Now a couple of byes, Paine unable to glove cleanly. He’s in the action again next up with a high bouncer. Australia hanging in there, but they need something to break their way. Not with that it won’t, some rare trash here from Cummins, Malan cutting with easy behind point for another boundary. Ten from the over. Positively racing! “They’re bowling one or two bad balls an over,” says Dirk Nannes on ABC. “And they are being punished for it.” Sure are.
99th over: England 335-4 (Malan 122, Bairstow 93) Mitchell Marsh into the act from the Prindiville Stand End. Malan off strike straight away with a clip. JB’s turn. He does the same, for two, bringing up the 200 partnership. What a brilliant stand. When they came together it was hot and heaving with Australia’s quicks doing as they pleased. Now, England are well ahead in this Test. To celebrate, Bairstow goes again with glorious timing past square leg. Just a flick of the wrists, but races to the rope. Into the 90s now. That was quick.
98th over: England 328-4 (Malan 121, Bairstow 87) Cummins replaces Starc at our Lillee-Marsh End. So close to our commentary position that I feel like I can push him to begin his long run. Such a beautiful approach. Like a sprinter out of the blocks. Said to Geoff the other week when he was on the OBO tools that I can imagine him running the 100m at the Olympics one day. He probably could. That kind of bloke. Oh, I better keep a lid on it though because as I type Bairstow has gone bang, bang! First through covers with ease, no risk of him overhitting anything this morning. Then repeats the dose, with a touch more gusto. Superly timed.
“My boss carried on drinking with me to 2am for the office do,” explains Dave Brown. “Should I stay up for a few hours reading your fine summary in this enthralling session and hope there’ll be no come back going into work late? Do I have a free pass? It’s the Ashes after all!!” If you don’t, you’re out of the family. Stick with us all night. Roll in ragged. It’s the only way.
@collinsadam I'm suffering from a new sensation - optimistic pessimism. Not sure if I'm comfortable with it
— phil withall (@phil_withall) December 15, 2017
97th over: England 320-4 (Malan 121, Bairstow 79) Short, short, full. Hazlewood’s plan is clear. Malan’s approach sound. Into his groove now, the left-hander pulls a couple through midwicket then a couple more driven through cover. One hand off the bat though, watching the replay. Hazlewood spot on here.
96th over: England 316-4 (Malan 117, Bairstow 79) Yes, Dave. Malan gets a full swing in at a full and fast Starc delivery, driven through cover. Mad skillz. The bumper follows, naturally enough. Then the yorker again to end, Malan less comfortable this time, barely getting an inside edge. Through his legs for a single though, so he’ll keep the strike.
“I think I am the only patron of the 720 bus from ucla to koreatown currently following your coverage,” believes Ian Copestake. My challenge: get another to click through. You can do it. “Grind out the century, Jonny B!” I predict he’ll do just that. Go Jonny go go.
95th over: England 311-4 (Malan 112, Bairstow 79) Shot. Bairstow leans onto the front foot and strokes Hazlewood through the gap at cover. Not really there to drive either, making it look all the prettier, on the up. The bowler finds the edge later in the over, but with soft hands it drops well in front of the cordon.
176 - Bairstow and Malan's 176-run partnership is England's biggest in Australia since November 2010 (329 - Cook, Trott at Brisbane). Essence. #Ashes pic.twitter.com/06KGDc0KsW
— OptaJason (@OptaJason) December 15, 2017
94th over: England 306-4 (Malan 111, Bairstow 75) Runs! Well, a run anyway! Took 27 balls for England to open their account this morning, through a single to fine leg as Malan jams out a Starc yorker. Another short delivery that really takes off, Paine taking it high above his head. This is hard yakka. It’s YJB’s first look at Starc today and he gets a full and straight one too. Juuuuust keeps it out with a little edge. And another! Not the most convincing defensive stroke. Excellent early contest.
93rd over: England 305-4 (Malan 110, Bairstow 75) Make that four maidens. Defending, leaving, ducking, driving. Hazlewood gets the final delivery to crash into Bairstow’s hip, or thereabouts.
“I am sitting in Port Moresby reading your wonderful coverage,” writes Tom McPhee. Most kind. Hi Tom. “I simply had to say thank you to Paris Bob Wilson; what a wonderful comment. My hat is off to him for such an evocative short piece, and add that it is surely a wonderful example of why twitter is so limited. As a native of WA a long way from the clear bright air of Perth, I have to tell you that I take a an slightly perverse sense of pride in my home being described in such a fashion, particularly by an Englishman.” He does it better than, well, probably anyone.
“I look forward to the forthcoming descriptions of England’s inevitable and lamentable collapse with glee, and expect it will be completed before I have had the time to mix my afternoon gin and tonic in 2 hours hence (to keep the malaria at bay of course).”
"Sometimes it's more hope, if it's just touching the stumps we're all right. It's something I can work on and get as consistent as I can." Steve Smith on how his use of DRS has changed since new rules came in. Aust have no reviews left #ashes
— Andrew Wu (@wutube) December 15, 2017
92nd over: England 305-4 (Malan 110, Bairstow 75) Starc running away from us here building up some serious speed. Before the leg before shout he won Malan’s inside edge. After the review he has to keep another yorker out. “He’s not timing it,” says Vic Marks next to me. Three maidens to begin.
Nick Bron writes in on the elephant in the room: the torrential rain reportedly heading Perth’s way on Sunday. “Don’t tell the Aussies I’m saying this but looking at the forecast, England need 500, then bowl out Australia under 300, force the follow on and knock em over for 200.” Easy peasy, then.
Great to have Victoria’s Attorney-General, Marty Pakula, with us over in the Inverarity Stand. He loves this stuff. The Waca is a top away day if you can handle the heat. Have wonderful memories flying over here for a frolic during the 2010 Ashes Test.
First ever visit to @WACA_Cricket and here come the Richies! pic.twitter.com/YzP5vFjwFz
— Martin Pakula (@MartinPakulaMP) December 15, 2017
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NOT OUT! Nup. That’s a bad review. It is missing by more than a stump down the legside. They lose their second referral. England still have both in hand.
HAS STARC TRAPPED MALAN? Not out on the field, but they’re very confident after the left-armer’s yorker slipped under the bat. We’re going upstairs!
91st over: England 305-4 (Malan 110, Bairstow 75) Hazlewood was Australia’s best yesterday, for mine. He’s at it from the Prinvidille Stand End. Makes YJB play from the get-go, beating him with a tidy delivery that does a bit off the seam. We’re only 11 overs into the new ball, so after a good rest this should be a lively hour or so. Back to back maidens.
“Surely Paris Bob should know that the Poms’ level of self-loathing is such that they hate themselves even more than the Aussies do,” emails Patrick O’Brien. My experience, too. So bloody hard on yourselves.
We're away at the Waca!
90th over: England 305-4 (Malan 110, Bairstow 75) A fully from Starc to begin, but Malan doesn’t have a go. He stays full, landing a yorker with the penultimate offering, before going upstairs to finish off. Gets serious bounce, nearly making it over Tim Paine’s head as he did a couple of times yesterday. Maiden.
Pot pouri. Settle in. We’re nearly there.
Eng's 4-305 their highest Day 1 Close of Play score in Aus since Melbourne, 1965-66 (5-312), 52 years ago. In that series, they also made 5-328 at SCG earlier.
— Ric Finlay (@RicFinlay) December 15, 2017
Only other higher scores were in 1897 and 1892.
Ian Healy in full suit with keeping gloves on, Mark Taylor standing at first slip, Warne at second, with Mark Nicholas gently lobbing balls at them. DRINK! #Ashes
— Jon Healy (@JonHealy) December 15, 2017
Amazing what a difference a good Ashes day makes. The ECB could secretly un-ban and un-fine Ben Duckett and no one would actually mind. Scapegoat no longer required.
— Barney Ronay (@barneyronay) December 14, 2017
A moment he'll never forget 🙌
— The Ashes on BT Sport (@btsportcricket) December 14, 2017
Dawid Malan brings up his maiden Test match century!
What a special innings under pressure! #ItsTheAshes
📺 BT Sport 1 HD pic.twitter.com/sJnmU02aWg
In the back of an uber to the Waca. Not quite a Paul Kelly lyric, is it? But what I can tell you now that I couldn’t before is that it’s hot! Not, as Bob puts it below, melt through your strides stuff. But not eerily mild either, as it was yesterday. No clouds either. Gorgeous. Ten minutes from the re-start. Buckle up.
Bairstow has justified the rise up the order, but his success could prove doubly useful. Moeen has proved excellent at flogging tired attacks - in overs 110+, the all-rounder averages 56.20, and scores at almost 5rpo. #Ashes
— The Cricket Prof. (@CricProf) December 15, 2017
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Paris Bob Wilson, tell us a story. “Sainted Adam, (Lovely piece about the quicks earlier),” thanks Robert. Take it away...
“I’ve been thinking about we Northern Europeans’ and our dread and delight in the WACA. Sure, Adelaide’s lovely, everyone likes Sydney but Perth is the one that makes us tell stories around the campfire. It says something troubling about us that it hits our sweet spot so. Because the WACA is all about Australia being just awful. In a country where the butterflies can kill you and the fieldmice have Kalashnikovs, there’s a cricket ground where it’s so hot your trousers catch fire and it’s so fast and bouncy that a broken jaw or nose is an absolute blessed outcome. AND it has a wind that is ominously called the Doctor. In this hellish place, a conscienceless society allows its most carnivorous and indefatigably disobliging men to project hard missiles at middle-aged and affable Englishmen and everyone applauds mightily. You try telling that to a continental and they just stare at you. So, my questions is this; why do we like it so much?”
Good, Charlie.
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Malan After Midnight) #Ashes
— Charlie Reynolds (@cwjreynolds) December 15, 2017
Opening to the batting on the email. Is a cynical Simon Powell. “Excited for today, but (sadly) we all know what happens in the first hour, don’t we…” Wash your mouth out. Malan proved the tough stuff is he made of yesterday. He was in lovely form at the press conference too, talking about the emotions of getting to a ton and all the sacrifices his parents made for him to live the dream. Well played. I’m backing him for a Daddy Ton.
Yesterday’s nine over love letter to the Waca. A lot of people below the line are screaming at me for not saying more about England, but this is a tribute to how well they did to survive one of the most brutal periods of Test cricket I’ve ever witnessed.
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I missed something. I feel like we have a lot to talk about. Share it all. Just photocopyied your body at your work Christmas do? That’s still what people do, isn’t it? Send me a screenshot. In the old money or the new, I’m here for you. Tell me about it.
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Welcome to day two at the W.A.C.A Ground!
This is usually the bit where I reveal what a brilliant/dreadful day it is outside. But I’ll level with you: I’m yet to open the curtains of my Perth hotel room. Because last night our circuit ended at The Avenue. Nobody poured a pint over me. I didn’t headbutt anyone (other than for photos). But there we have it. My line and length will come, it might just take an over or two.
I went along with OBO regular Will Macpherson, who is writing about the experience, in great depth, for Another Place. So I won’t cut his grass too badly with the nitty gritty. But needless to say, I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA WHY THE ENGLAND TEAM KEEP GOING BACK. No (current) players were there last night though, I can confirm, even if Davey Dawid Malan and Mark Stoneman earned a night on the tiles.
Wasn’t yesterday great? I was in my element grinning like an idiot telling strangers why the hour after lunch was some of the best Test cricket I’ve ever seen. More of the same today. We should be so lucky. Can’t wait to join with Tim de Lisle to bring it all to you on the mighty OBO.
Adam will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s Ali Martin on the tremendous knock that has put England in a decent position heading into day two at the Waca.
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