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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
John Brewin

Premier League clockwatch: Leicester 2-0 Leeds, Fulham 3-0 Aston Villa – as it happened

Harvey Barnes of Leicester City looks on as Robin Koch of Leeds United scores an own goal.
Harvey Barnes of Leicester City looks on as Robin Koch of Leeds United scores an own goal. Photograph: Eddie Keogh/Getty Images

That concludes the blog for tonight. Thanks for reading.

Leicester defender Wout Faes, outstanding tonight, spoke to Amazon Prime. He was playing in front of Belgium manager Roberto Martinez.

It was amazing. We know the Leeds team try to press high but we matched their intensity and we were efficient.

We move forward game by game and let’s try and get another result on Sunday. We need to take responsibility as players out on the pitch and that’s what we have tried to do.

The spirit is good and now the results follow. Let’s keep our feet on the ground.

Ben Fisher has filed from the King Power Stadium.

Do Leeds fans fancy a Boris Johnson-style comeback from their hero? You bet. Awkward for Jesse Marsch.

While Fulham are ninth on 15 points, and flying, Leicester are off the bottom and it’s Villa and Leeds who are being pulled back in.

Pos Team P GD Pts
16 Leeds 10 -4 9
17 Aston Villa 11 -9 9
18 Wolverhampton 11 -9 9
19 Leicester 11 -7 8
20 Nottm Forest 11 -16 6

Full-time: Leicester 2-0 Leeds

Leicester look capable of getting out of trouble. Leeds, far less so. The own-goal was unfortunate, while Harvey Barnes’ goal was from the type of attacking inspiration beyond Leeds’ capability. Big win for Brendan Rodgers, and things are looking rosy. Wolves and Steve Davis to come at the weekend: interesting. Leeds have a very dangerous Fulham at home, and Jesse Marsch will have heard the boos from their away fans.

Leicester 2-0 Leeds

88 min: Jesse Marsch looks aghast as another corner comes in and is well saved by Danny Ward. Leicester look OK in defence again, and Wout Faes is a big part of that. Only Bournemouth have scored against them in October. In three matches in September they conceded 12.

Leicester 2-0 Leeds

85 min: Leeds are trying their best to get back into this but are suffering from a severe lack of firepower. Summerville shoots from distance, and wins a corner. Aaronson is keen to get in involved but Liam Cooper heads behind.

Matt Burtz gets in touch: “Don’t shortchange Mr. Faes in the hair department, as it can best be described as flowing. It’s like watching Kenny G play on Leicester’s back line.”

Thinking more Robbie Nevil, of C’est La Vie fame.

Leicester 2-0 Leeds

76 min: Gelhardt is one for Sinistierra, and the Leeds fans not happy with that decision from their manager. Did Jesse Marsch read Twitter this afternoon?

Jacob Steinberg was at Craven Cottage to see Steven Gerrard on the brink.

Leicester 2-0 Leeds

69 min: Leeds almost get caught when playing it out from the back and had Patson Daka been a bit less wasteful, they would have been three down. In his windcheater on the sideline, Jesse Marsch looks rather anxious. Then come some good defending from Wout Faes, the Belgian with quite the mane.

Leicester 2-0 Leeds

64 min: Patson Daka, who played under Jesse Marsch at RB Salzburg, comes on for Jamie Vardy. There are boos for Marsch when Patrick Bamford leave the field for Jack Harrison but he’s not looked remotely fit, as has been the case for a long time.

Some reaction from Mikel Arteta after Arsenal’s 1-0 defeat of PSV in the Europa League. He spoke to BT Sport.

We had really good moments where we dominated against a really good side. We lacked that final pass or shot but we’re happy to win the game and we are qualified which is the first step. The difference between finishing first and second is big and we want to get the job done [next week].

In Europe you have to control the opponent. They are very talented, used to winning and the amount of goals they have scored is incredible - we were really mature.

[On Bukayo Saka, who took a knock]: I think he will be OK.

Leicester 2-0 Leeds

57 min: Leeds are trying to get back into this one. But Leicester look more dangerous, with Harvey Barnes to the fore.

Fulham’s vice-chairman – the boss’s son – enjoyed that one.

Report to follow from Craven Cottage, and reaction, too.

Meanwhile, on Ronaldo, an olive branch from the great man towards Erik ten Hag. Amid all this, there seems to be an apology.

Full-time: Fulham 3-0 Aston Villa

Fulham climb into mid-table, and comfortably so. They have had a good season so far. “Villa till I die,” sing the defiant away fans, having made their feelings clear to the current manager. His team were poor, and architects of their own downfall in conceding penalties and red cards. Gerrard takes that long walk down to the Cottage, and shakes as many hands as he can. He’s staring his fate in the face, at least, though doesn’t approach the away fans. There’s trouble ahead. Will he be in charge for the Brentford game on Sunday?

Fulham 3-0 Aston Villa

88 min: Gary McAllister and Steven Gerrard are muttering at each other behind their hands. The assistant next to them, whose name escapes, is keeping schtum, possibly eyeing a Steve Davis at Wolves role. Who knows? The public has spoken, loudly, in any case. Villa have been dreadful when they had every chance to get something here.

Fulham 3-0 Aston Villa (Mings, 84 OG)

Neesksens Kebano gets to the byline, beats the hapless Matty Cash, and his cross comes off Tyrone Mings, guilty against Chelsea on Sunday, and into the net. Dear me. Steven knows it, too. Head in hands. His team are currently so bad that they are doing him good in the long run, or something. Whatever those books say. “If it isn’t hurting, it isn’t working,” as John Major once said. (It didn’t work out for him, either.)

Tyrone Mings turns the ball into his own net.
Tyrone Mings turns the ball into his own net. Photograph: Paul Childs/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

Fulham 2-0 Aston Villa

80 min: These were Steven Gerrard’s pre-match words, and they read like he’s been OD-ing on LinkedIn and those business books you only ever see at airports.

I’ve had tough days. But tough days are OK because you need to use them as motivation for when better days come. I’m a young manager, I take that and this is a tough period. But it’s a great challenge for me from a personal point of view.

I want to prove to everyone I can change our situation. I’m here to fight and lead every single minute of every day and I have confidence in my ability to change the situation. I am game for these periods as I believe and know I can get through them.

Small wonder that Villa look uninspired. His team talks must resemble an all-hands sales meeting at Swindon branch.

Fulham 2-0 Aston Villa

76 min: Sounds rancorous in the away end. Ouch once more.

Half-time: Leicester 2-0 Leeds

Big half-time for Coach Marsch. This is seven games without a win coming up. Leicester have meanwhile played the attacking football we have often loved in them. They’ve been allowed to do so.

John Ryan on Leeds: “First time watching Leeds this season and I can see why they are so low in the table… awful decision making and execution; haven’t had a shot on target in 40 mins. Will be lucky if they get one tonight.”

Kevin gets in touch on the Douglas Luiz red. He has a point: “Luiz’s red looks deserved, if a bit melodramatic from Mitrovic. The latter was clearly the instigator though, so my question is, how did he not get a yellow out of that? Between provoking Luiz and the play-acting it feels like Mitrovic deserves something”

Fulham 2-0 Aston Villa

70 minutes: There were boos when Danny Ings left the field, for defender Leander Dendoncker. And a very loud “we want Gerrard out”. Ouch.

Goal! Fulham 2-0 Aston Villa (Mitrovic, 68 pen)

Mitro whacks it with all his power, and that’s enough to beat Martinez who got his hand to it.

Mitrovic scores a penalty
Mitrovic makes it two to the Cottagers. Photograph: Jed Leicester/REX/Shutterstock

Updated

Penalty to Fulham!

Matty Cash, just on as a sub, handballs as Mitrovic hooks the ball back into the box. His hand was in an unnatural position, and that’s given.

Matty Cash concedes the penalty.
Matty Cash concedes the penalty.
Photograph: Paul Childs/Action Images/Reuters

Updated

Goal! Leicester 2-0 Leeds (Barnes, 35)

Lovely goal, Praet to Vardy, to Dewsbury-Hall, to Barnes, all one touch. And goal. Beautiful.

Harvey Barnes scores the second Leicester goal.
Harvey Barnes fires through Illan Meslier’s legs to double the Fox’s lead. Photograph: Geoff Caddick/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa

64 min: Douglas Luiz may well have signed Steven Gerrard’s P45 for him there. Just as Villa were coming back into the game, they lose their discipline.

Red card for Villa's Douglas Luiz!

Mitrovic goes down after a clash in midfield. Mitro goes down as they go chest to chest, and there’s a head gone in from the Brazilian. The VAR is shown to referee Michael Oliver, and he knows. So does Luiz. Mitrovic sold him that one and he bought it. Luiz waves at the Villa fans as he goes off. Not a good idea.

Douglas Luiz is sent off.
Douglas Luiz gets his marching orders. Photograph: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

Updated

Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa

58 min: Big songs from the Villa fans as Buendia comes on. Leon Bailey, who had been booked, was not playing well. Still no Coutinho.

Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa

54 min: Villa have a corner, they need something. But Mitrovic does fine work at the back, and makes his way up to the front on the counter. A powerful drive goes behind. Willian’s pass was excellent. He’s showing a side Arsenal rarely saw. From the corner, Palhinha, very strong in the air, heads over.

Leicester 1-0 Leeds

22 min: Good refereeing allowed play on after a foul on Jamie Vardy, and the ball from Dennis Praet was headed for Harvey Barnes, only for Robin Koch to poke out a leg. Leeds, without a win in six, since 21 August, could really do with less of that.

Updated

Goal! Leicester 1-0 Leeds (Koch, 16 OG)

That’s a vital goal for Leicester but a comedy own-goal by Koch. He can’t do anything but smash it into his own net.

Robin Koch scores an own goal.
Harvey Barnes of Leicester City looks on as Robin Koch of Leeds United scores an own goal. Photograph: Geoff Caddick/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa

Back out at Craven Cottage where Matty Cash will come for Villa to try and stop Willian’s runs down the left. Big, big, half for Villa. Jan Bednarek came off, not an auspicious debut for the loanee.

Leicester 0-0 Leeds

15 min: It’s been even at Leicester, though Leeds are in the game rather more than Brendan Rodgers would like.

John gets in touch: “Interesting to note that two former Arsenal number one and two goalkeepers are on opposing sides today, their rivalry at Emirates notwithstanding.”

The current No 2 goalie, Matt Turner, had an easy night against PSV.

Half-time: Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa

Harrison Reed’s goal a cracker, Willian has been excellent, and Fulham good value for their lead. Steven Gerrard is being royally booed. Oh dear.

Team news at the King Power sees Jamie Vardy get a start over Patson Daka. Dennis Praet replaces the suspended James Maddison; he got a booking late on at the weekend in that terrible goalless draw with Crystal Palace.

For Leeds: Crysencio Summerville makes his first ever start for Leeds. Crysencio Summerville and let flee the dogs of war? Patrick Bamford, Junior Firpo, Diego Llorente all start, Bamford after missing that penalty against Arsenal on Sunday.

They are underway at the King Power.

Brenden Aaronson of Leeds is challenged by Timothy Castagne.
Brenden Aaronson of Leeds is challenged by Timothy Castagne. Photograph: James Williamson/AMA/Getty Images

Updated

Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa

38 min: Fulham queueing up to score, the last chance going to Mitrovic. Villa fans queuing to boo their team, and Steven. Harrison Reed’s goal, by the way, was a beauty.

Here’s Nick Ames’ report from the Emirates.

Goal! Fulham 1-0 Aston Villa (Reed, 36)

Fulham get a corner, it comes in from the left, and Harrison Reed, it goes loose, smashes it with and swerve into the Villa net. Boos from the away fans. Oh dear, Steven.

Harrison Reed strikes for the Cottagers.
Harrison Reed strikes for the Cottagers. Photograph: David Klein/Reuters

Updated

Leicester v Leeds teams

Leicester: Ward, Castagne, Amartey, Faes, Justin, Tielemans, Soumare, Dewsbury-Hall, Praet, Vardy, Barnes Subs: Iversen, Thomas, Mendy, Perez, Iheanacho, Daka, Vestergaard, Braybrooke, Wormleighton

Leeds: Meslier, Firpo, Kristensen, Koch, Llorente, Roca, Adams, Aaronson, Summerville, Sinisterra, Bamford. Subs: Klaesson, Ayling, Gelhardt, Greenwood, Klich, Cooper, Harrison, Rodrigo, Gnonto

Fulham 0-0 Aston Villa

30 min: It’s not happening just yet for Villa but might soon. Leon Bailey has shot blocked and then Leno makes a save from Watkins. The Villa fans in decent voice now.

Reaction and a match report to come from that game but at the Cottage, Fulham have been much the better team. Willian just had a shot saved by Emi Martinez.

Full-time: Arsenal 1-0 PSV

It wasn’t spectacular but it was deserved. Arsenal go into the knockout stages of the Europa League with maximum points. Ruud’s PSV never got going, with Cody Gakpo nit much involved.

90 min: We’re into the last minute at the Emirates, four minutes of this under-amped affair to go.

Mary Waltz makes a good point on the Ronaldo issue: “John, you have to give EtH credit for the low key fashion that he handled the Ronaldo problem. He simply put him on the bench and didn’t make a fuss about it. He didn’t brief the press under the table, he didn’t downgrade his abilities. Even after a victory where CR7 acted badly he down played the situation. He refused to feed the controversy industry.”

85 min: Saka looks OK as he leaves the field. Reiss Nelson comes on; he was once the next big thing. Saka is already the big thing. What a player.

82 min: Saka is still on field, and still looks uncomfortable but nevertheless gets a chance to run at PSV’s defence and warm the hands of Benitez in their goal. He will surely be subbed off soon.

Ben Clark has his answer from a Mr A Nonymous, a Dutchman: “The red-white striped trim is part of the regular home shirt since decades, in a Sunderland-style vertical red-white trim. It is also in the municipal crest of their city of Eindhoven. So even though Rangers got the better of them (by quite a margin), this is not a tribute.”

Underway at Craven Cottage

Fulham v Villa, where it doesn’t look like many Villans have made the walk across Bishops Park.

Tyrone Mings
Tyrone Mings will be hoping for a better performance tonight. Photograph: David Klein/Reuters

Updated

76 min: Arsenal make two subs, Jesus going off, and Martinelli comes on. Tomiyasu goes off for Ben White and Saka continues on.

75 min: Saka is still struggling, and stretching out his leg. Maybe it was worse than it looked.

73 min: Uh oh! Saka carves through the PSV defence and then shoots. He took a whack to the calf, and goes down. More worry for Gareth Southgate, but it looks to be a flesh wound at worst and he will carry on. Phew.

Goal! Arsenal 1-0 PSV (Xhaka, 71)

It had been coming. Odegaard plays in Tomiyasu, whose ball into the centre finds Xhaka, who has stayed still, and he wallops home. The celebration, a spreading of the arms and a huge smile reminded of Tony Adams v Everton in 1998.

Granit Xhaka points to the fans as he celebrates his goal.
Granit Xhaka points to the fans as he celebrates his goal. Photograph: Adrian Dennis/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

67 min: Nketiah is the latest Arsenal player to go close, cutting in and shooting with his left. Arteta brings on Thomas Partey and Martin Odegaard to try and get the win.

62 min: Arsenal go close again, and it’s Jesus again. Good save from Walter Benitez, who dropped a couple of clangers against Rangers.

The other big Premier League news: Viva and farewell, Ronaldo.

Davis to stay on as Wolves boss until 2023

Important news at the bottom of the Premier League. Jorge Mendes’ contacts book has drawn a blank, and QPR’s Mick Beale has said no. Davis got a win at the weekend but Wolves lost at Palace on Tuesday, and weren’t great for most of the game. Big job.

54 min: PSV go close! Xavi Simons smashes over after Tezos sets him up. Arsenal find the space for a counter and again Jesus misses a chance, and then from the loose ball claims a penalty. Nothing doing.

51 min: Arsenal start the half slowly, but then Sako and Jesus combine, opening up the PSV defence, only for Jesus to scuff his shot. That was better but Jesus’s shooting boots have not accompanied him in the Europa League.

47 min: Mikel Arteta gets a telling off from the referee, who it seems is no fan of the technical area encroachment that’s become a habit from the Arsenal manager.

Referee Alejandro Jose Hernandez Hernandez rebukes his compatriot Mikel Arteta.
Referee Alejandro Jose Hernandez Hernandez rebukes his compatriot Mikel Arteta. Photograph: Catherine Ivill/Getty Images

Updated

46 min: Back underway at the Emirates…

Ben Clark has a question for the floor: “Was there some type of bet like mayors of North American cities make when their teams face in a championship? Rangers won the qualifier so this year PSV had to wear a Rangers inspired shirt with the red trim collar?
I apologize if these are traditional PSV away shirt colours? Thanks for any insight.”

Half-time: Arsenal 0-0 PSV

PSV continue to sit – and be held back – by Arsenal but have defended well for the first half. They are spying their own route to the next round, of course. The promise of attacking football and even Ruud-inspired aggro has dissipated, too. Better in the second half, we hope.

41 min: It’s still all Arsenal but they still haven’t looked like scoring. Fabio Vieira goes for goal with a free-kick but misses the target.

Not mentioned before, but Arsenal legend Willian is playing for Fulham tonight. His return to the Premier League one of the oddest of the last transfer window.

35 min: VAR call? Penalty check for a handball from a PSV player but that’s waved away. Saka wafts in the corner. And Gabriel Jesus might have done better.

Fulham v Aston Villa teams

Fulham XI: Leno, De Cordova-Reid, Diop, Ream, Robinson, Reed, Joao Palhinha, Willian, Pereira, Kebano, Mitrovic Subs: Rodak, Adarabioyo, Duffy, Wilson, Cairney, James, Mbabu, Vinicius, Harris.

Aston Villa XI: Martinez, Bednarek, Konsa, Mings, Young, Ramsey, Douglas Luiz, McGinn, Bailey, Ings, Watkins Subs: Olsen, Cash, Sanson, Buendia, Chambers, Nakamba, Coutinho, Dendoncker, Archer.

Ashley Young making his 400th Premier League appearance, Philippe Coutinho is benched still. Buendia will be carrying the creative burden. Jan Bednarek – remember him from Southampton – makes his debut.

30 min: Mary Waltz got in touch: “How long can Arsenal keep up this outstanding run of play? Truly impressed. The Guardian does an admirable job on keeping the various league tables up to date. But you’re missing one. The race between the UK and the US for the most insane democracy title.”

Vieira meanwhile loops over a pass that Gabriel Jesus just fails to reach.

27 min: At last, a PSV counter, though it ends up with Xavi Simons crashing the ball high. But a little warning, and the game opening up a bit, too.

25 min: It continues to be all Arsenal, with PSV rarely finding the way through the midfield. Then, at last, they get the ball down and pass, only to play the ball back to their goalkeeper as Arsenal have pressed them hard.

21 min: Jesus coming into it, and Tierney is always the out-ball

20 min: It’s been slow-going, if we are honest. Jesus has a dig but wraps his foot round the ball and misses.

16 min: PSV – finally – mount an attack. They have been very cautious so far. Gakpo hasn’t touched the ball yet. Saka is called on to come back and clear the lines.

13 min: Jesus wants a penalty but is penalised for a high-kick instead.

11 min: Plenty of noise from the PSV fans, their trip to London delayed by the Royal funeral. Anyway, Tierney has just had a dig from the edge of the box. He go under it, and walloped it somewhere in the vicinity of the Holloway Road.

7 min: Nketiah is also to the fore, him and Tierney seeming to be constantly in possession. PSV seem to looking for the counterattack but will need the ball to do that.

Eddie Nketiah takes on Xavi Simons.
Eddie Nketiah takes on Xavi Simons. Photograph: Zac Goodwin/PA

Updated

4 min: For two teams who are known to be attacking, it’s been very quiet. The aforementioned Tierney is seeing plenty of the ball. He fails to find Vieira with one pass across the box.

1 min: They are underway at the Emirates.

Good fact there about Kieran Tierney, who becomes the first Scot to make 100 appearances for Arsenal since Charlie Nicholas in 1985. Champagne Charlie was signed from Celtic, too. Others include George Graham, Bob Wilson, Frank McLintock, with Ian Ure stuck on 98.

Charles Antaki gets in touch: “The men’s team will have to go some to match what the women did last night, beating the European champions 5-1 away from home. They did it while resting star player Vivianne Miedema on the bench, so is that what Mikel Arteta has in mind in resting, erm, Aaron Ramsdale?”

Good point, Charkes.

Ruud himself spoke to BT but said he hadn’t even mentioned his square-gos with the Gunners down the years.

It’s no issue and there’s no link to that. It’s two teams facing each more or less 20 years later and it’s in the past, I think. Both teams want to play football, there’s wonderful talent on the pitch and on the benches so it’s going to be an exciting match.

Keown and Van Nistelrooy memories.

Arsenal’s Martin Keown going sick at Manchester United’s Ruud Van Nistelrooy in September 2003.
Arsenal’s Martin Keown going sick at Manchester United’s Ruud Van Nistelrooy in September 2003. Photograph: Martin Rickett/PA

In the words of the magnificent Scott Murray.

Early in the 2003-04 season, the teams met Old Trafford. Vieira was sent off for a wholly unnecessary kick at Van Nistelrooy. He had to be led off by, of all people, the renowned diplomat Boutros Boutros-Keane. Van Nistelrooy had a chance to score the winner from the penalty spot in injury time, but hit the crossbar. Martin Keown, seething with perceived injustice, and a general dislike of the striker, who Arsenal perceived to be regularly trying it on, got right up in the striker’s grille. Arsenal escaped with a draw, and remained unbeaten in the league. Given it was only September, that was unremarkable at the time. But we all know how the rest of the season panned out for the Invincibles, who became the first team since Preston North End in 1888-89 to go through an entire campaign undefeated….

Not once, but twice. Because there was only one way Arsenal’s unbeaten run in the league would end. Going for the 50 not out, they lost 2-0 at Old Trafford. Van Nistelrooy should have been sent off for a dreadful tackle on Ashley Cole, but instead scored a cathartic penalty. It all kicked off in the tunnel after the game. Wenger spoiled for a row with Ferguson, but it was Cesc Fabregas who dealt the memorable blow, comically landing a slice of pizza on the United manager’s face.

PSV are unchanged from last week’s 5-0 defeat of Zürich. Win this and they have a foothold in the next round, too. All eyes on Cody Gakpo, the PSV captain on talisman, who was linked with Arsenal in the summer. He’s scored 14 goals this season, and may well be one of the stars of Louis van Gaal’s World Cup squad. To these eyes, he was a little disappointing in the two legs of the Rangers tie, particularly the second leg. So, a bit to prove.

The Europa League is not the main target this season, Arsenal have a more impossible dream in mind, as Nick Ames wrote this week.

One doubt will linger into next year. Arsenal were due to host Manchester City on Wednesday until their rescheduled Europa League tie against PSV Eindhoven took priority. Should current form be repeated to the letter they may not have to beat Pep Guardiola’s side this season, but reality will not be so simple: Arsenal should have prevailed when they met at the Emirates Stadium on New Year’s Day, instead reverting to modern-day type and falling short. They have not won that fixture in the league for seven years and it feels like the final frontier to potential greatness.

Mikel Arteta, with the selection of Gabriel Jesus and Bukayo Saka, seems to be trying to get qualification secured so Arsenal can rest up in the final two matches. He’s made four changes from the game with post-rock’s Bodo/Glimt: Takehiro Tomiyasu and Gabriel replace Ben White and William Saliba in defence. Martin Odegaard is replaced by Granit Xhaka brought in and Jesus plays ahead of Reiss Nelson.

Team news

Arsenal: Turner; Tomiyasu, Holding, Gabriel, Tierney; Lokonga, Xhaka, Vieira; Saka, Jesus, Nketiah

PSV: Benitez, Mwene, Ramalho, Obispo, Max, Gutierrez, Sangare, Simons, Veerman, Gakpo, Til

Updated

Preamble

Welcome. It was a week into Liz Truss’s premiership of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland that this game was supposed to be played. But then, with London police unable to properly man a match in which PSV’s large support was considered a risk, it was moved. Arsenal actually played on the Sunday after the original Thursday fixture, smoshing Brentford in the process but these are the times we live in, and this match will be played as the Tory leadership election hoofs into gear once more on the 44th day of Truss, and the last, pretty much. Hopefully, football can live up to its status as one of the very best distractions from what goes on in the front pages, and on the front of this website. Arsenal have won all three matches so far, while PSV, managed by Ruud van Nistelrooy, and who lost out on the Champions League to Rangers, have seven points. Ruud and Arsenal have plenty of previous, as some of you may recall. Think Martin Keown descending on Ruud like a pterodactyl on crystal meth, and a riotous finish at Highbury in that same, dim and distant year of 2003.

And that’s not all. The Premier League’s midweek round, as presented by Jeff Bezos in the UK, and somewhat prone to buffering, even for those of us who think they have paid good money for high-speed internet connections, continues with two choices. At 7.30pm UK time, Fulham take on Aston Villa, and it’s the latest last-chance saloon for Steven Gerrard. Stories of Mauricio Pochettino coming have been hotly denied by Villa’s people but the fans ain’t happy with Steven, not least because Steven’s dour demeanour is reflected by the sheer unwatchability of his team.

To follow, at the deadline-busting, wholly unnecessary kick-off time of 8.15, it’s Leicester v Leeds, in which Brendan Rodgers’ own dance with the P45 continues, and Jesse Marsch is not exactly copper-bottomed, either. The pressure’s on across the board, and we are only 11 games into the season. Mind you, as Liz Truss might tell you, nobody gets much time these days, especially if you make an absolute mess of it.

So, a clocko it is, and team news and reaction to follow.

Those kick-off times again:

  • Arsenal v PSV – 6pm (UK time)

  • Fulham v Aston Villa – 7.30 pm

  • Leicester v Leeds – 8.15pm

Join me.

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