Do you feel ashamed when you see your screen time statistics? Or worry you’re incapable of leaving the house without your device? Does the global average of six-and-a-half hours of daily digital use (according to GWI data, cited in DataReportal's comprehensive Digital 2025 Global Overview Report) seem low to you?
If you think you have an unhealthy dependence on your phone, you’re not alone. Scary stories about the power of our devices and warnings about screen time dangers are everywhere.
On the other hand, the internet is part of the infrastructure of our lives – apps are needed for everything from banking to home security. Even the United Nations says digital access is fundamental. But could too much of it be damaging to us?
Am I addicted to tech?
Addiction means not being able to stop something despite negative results, experiencing cravings and obsessions, using or spending more to get a ‘hit’, and feeling significant discomfort when you do stop.
As addiction spans more than just consumption, using your phone habitually, compulsively or constantly doesn’t necessarily make you an addict.
Mark Griffiths, an expert in behavioural addictions, says there’s no specific amount of screen time that’s problematic: context and content are important.
So, instead of worrying about screen time stats, try noticing how you feel about your tech use and its impacts. What’s the specific problem you’d like to remedy, and why? Which behaviours add value, enjoyment or connection to your life, and which get in the way?
Why is social media irresistable?
As social creatures, we gravitate towards connection, have curiosity about other people and are prone to comparison. Social media designers exploit these instincts to capture our attention.
When our attention is hijacked, we’re less able to deliberately focus on the things that matter to us. That’s why mindfulness practices can make us feel connected and settled, whereas mindless scrolling often makes us feel empty and bad.
However, not all users’ experiences are negative. In fact, a study of one million daily users over 11 years found no evidence linking Facebook and overall negative wellbeing. Research on the effects of social media has shown that it’s how you are using it that matters.
If you’re logging on to forge and maintain connections, and to participate in communities, then social media is likely to have a positive impact.
But if you’re passively lurking, then you become more likely to experience envy, social comparison and anxiety.
If an app typically makes you feel rubbish, consider removing it from your phone altogether.
If you decide it needs to stay, try setting up a time limiter. When you hit it and feel tempted to carry on, ask yourself, "How is this serving me?" Answer honestly.
Is your phone a third wheel?
Our devices compete with partners, children and friends for our attention, and it has become normal to have them nearby, for instance on the table at a restaurant. However, phone snubbing or ‘phubbing’ – ignoring someone you’re with in favour of your phone – can result in others feeling undervalued. This can hurt relationships.
Research shows that partner phubbing is linked to more jealousy and less closeness between romantic partners, as well as a decrease in satisfaction, trust and empathy.
You may think it’s harmless, but it’s hard to recognise the impact of our behaviour when we’re in company. We may feel justified in our phone use while judging others’ as inconsiderate.
Ask those closest to you how they feel about your tech usage around others. Real talk from people we love can drive change more effectively than self-reflection.
What about smartwatches?
In theory, smartwatches help us avoid the deeper distractions of phones by offering brief notifications without losing focus. Faced with the prospect of constant buzzing on your wrist, many people are more selective about which notifications are crucial.
However, there’s growing concern about more sophisticated devices that offer fitness and health information, and the impact of over-monitoring our bodies.
For example, preoccupation with sleep metrics could result in conditions such as orthosomnia, where the pursuit of perfect sleep leads to anxiety. Other research shows that heart alerts can fuel health anxiety in some patients with conditions including atrial fibrillation.
As with all devices, honest reflection is required to discern which smartwatch functions add to your life, and which stoke anxiety and disrupt your focus.
Do you need a digital detox?
The idea of taking time away from our devices – known as a digital detox – and having a specific retreat, plays on fears of tech being toxic. The truth is, they’re unlikely to be effective – lasting change happens incrementally, not via cold-turkey short breaks.
Rather than stopping phone usage altogether, only to start again, organise your physical and digital environments to make it harder.
If early-morning doomscrolling is your change target, explore on-phone time-limit settings, lock boxes, and out-of-bedroom charging options.
Swap to pleasurable or productive activities instead of anxious scrolling, and allow time, three weeks at least, for a new positive morning habit to form.
Your brain on tech
Read more of Dr Kasket's expertise in this area in her book RESET: Rethinking Your Digital World for a Happier Life.
We might rely on technology like smartphones every day, but what effect is it having on our brains?
- Brains like efficiency. When you do the same things repeatedly, neural connections form, helping perform those actions automatically in future. These manifest as habits. That’s why many of us reach for our phones as soon as we wake up, and why, when it’s next to us, we check it regularly.
- Reward and punishment also influence habit formation. If, for example, your manager criticises you for not responding to an email out of working hours, your pain-avoiding brain prompts you to clear your inbox at the weekend. If you miss social gatherings when you disable notifications, your pleasure-loving brain drives you to toggle them back on.
- Speaking of pleasure, notifications, ‘likes’ and the mere sight of our phones can trigger a hit of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in our brains that brings a rush of pleasure. It’s not just dopamine that influences our behaviour when it comes to tech. Our habits, values, social feedback, cultural norms, practical necessity and deeper values all play a part.
- While it's easy to form unhealthy habits, there is some good news. The plasticity of our brains means that, with consistent practice and mindful awareness, we can form new neural connections that better support the life we want.
This article first appeared in the January 2025 issue of woman&home magazine. Subscribe to the magazine for £6 for 6 issues.
