This year’s NCAA tournament kicks off in earnest on Thursday at noon. But rather than deconstruct and analyze the bracket any further, we’ve ranked the 68 schools in this year’s field by coolest person who went there. Kentucky might be the favorite on the hardwood, but where do they rank in cultural cachet? (Pretty highly it turns out.)
68) SMU: Kourtney Kardashian
“I went to college at SMU for two years before I transferred to UofA,” the TV personality and devout Methodist wrote in 2009. “I LOVE Dallas, and literally have not been back since I left!”
67) Utah: Karl Rove
The mastermind behind President George W Bush’s 2000 and 2004 campaigns landed on the Salt Lake City campus on a $1,000 scholarship in 1969.
66) Wofford: Jerry Richardson
The principal owner of the NFL’s Carolina Panthers played wide receiver for Wofford’s football team and still holds the program record for touchdowns in a season (nine in 1958).
65) North Florida: Yoanna House
The America’s Next Top Model majored in international relations and Asian studies at the Jacksonville school with the lazy river we’re impossibly jealous of.
64) Arkansas: Jerry Jones
The billionaire oil baron and Dallas Cowboys owner was co-captain of the Razorbacks football team that went 11-0 and was awarded a national title by the Football Writers Association of America in 1964.
63) Coastal Carolina: Michael Kelly
Doug Stamper, Frank Underwood’s icy White House Chief of Staff, discovered acting at a university that just sounds nicer than yours.
62) New Mexico State: Joe Pisarcik
The New York Giants quarterback responsible for The Miracle at the Meadowlands played collegiately in Las Cruces, New Mexico.
61) BYU: Stephenie Meyer
The young-adult fiction author, who graduated from America’s largest religious university with a BA in English, was clearing $50m a year at the height of the Twilight craze. So right in line with other English majors then.
60) Wyoming: Dick Cheney
The former Vice President graduated from the Laramie school after failing out of Yale twice.
59) Boise State: Jens Pulver
The one-time UFC lightweight champion’s collegiate wrestling career was shortened by injury but he still graduated with a degree in criminal justice.
58) Valparaiso: John Lutz
Before his turn as JD Lutz on 30 Rock, the writer and comedian pledged Sigma Phi Epsilon at Valpo.
57) Stephen F Austin: Mark Moseley
The only place-kicker to win the NFL’s Most Valuable Player award – yes, that happened – honed his trade for the Lumberjacks of Nacogdoches, Texas.
56) Manhattan: Rudy Giuliani
Years before he started trolling Obama, America’s Mayor kept it local.
55) Texas Southern: Michael Strahan
The present-day host of Live! with Kelly and Michael was chasing down quarterbacks for the Tigers long before he was ignominiously gifted the NFL single-season sacks record.
54) Dayton: Dan Patrick
The longtime ESPN anchor graduated from Dayton with a double major in broadcast journalism and, apparently, appearing in dreadful Adam Sandler movies.
53) Belmont: DJ Qualls
It’s hard out here for a pimp.
52) UAB: Roddy White
The four-time Pro Bowl wide receiver, a man of his word, played college ball in Birmingham.
51) VCU: The founding members of GWAR
Three members of the blood-spraying heavy metal band, including lead vocalist Dave Brockie, met at the Richmond university.
50) Xavier: Robert Romanus
Mike Damone of Fast Times at Ridgemont High fame. Busted for scalping Ozzy Osbourne tickets. Now working at 7-Eleven.
49) Villanova: Jim Croce
The famed singer-songwriter was a psychology major at the Catholic school on Philadelphia’s Main Line.
48) UC Irvine: Jon Lovitz
The future Saturday Night Live cast member graduated with a theater degree in 1979 – the same year he joined the Groundlings.
47) Lafayette: Joel Silver
The producer of actioners like Lethal Weapon, Die Hard and the Matrix trilogy – and recognized inventor of ultimate frisbee – attended the Easton, Pennsylvania university and formed the first collegiate ultimate team there.
46) LSU: Dr James Andrews
The three words no NFL fan or player ever wants to hear. The orthopedic surgeon of the stars attended the Baton Rouge school and won an SEC championship in pole vaulting.
45) Hampton: Wanda Sykes
The thorn in Larry David’s side pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha and graduated with a degree in marketing from the Virginia school.
44) Duke: Ken Jeong
The comedian, actor and physician best known as Mr Chow in the Hangover films was a chemistry major in Durham.
43) Davidson: Woodrow Wilson
The 28th President attended the Presbyterian school as a freshman before falling ill, taking a year off and finishing at Princeton.
42) Northern Iowa: Kurt Warner
The Cedar Falls, Iowa school was one plot point on the future Hall of Fame quarterback’s inspiring backstory.
41) North Dakota State: Bob Backlund
A two-time WWF champion, Backlund was a standout amateur wrestler at 190lbs in college and won a Division II national title in 1971.
40) Oklahoma: Olivia Munn
Born in Oklahoma City and raised in Tokyo, the Newsroom star returned to attend the Norman school where she majored in journalism and minored in dramatic arts.
39) North Carolina: Louise Fletcher
Piss on your fucking rules, Nurse Ratched!
38) Eastern Washington: Todd McFarlane
The creator of the Spawn comic book franchise – who later poured millions into buying the record-breaking home run balls hit by Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds – played baseball for the Eagles.
37) North Carolina State: Zach Galifianakis
“I was at NC State from 1988 to 1992, failed my last course by one point and never got my degree,” the Hangover star said in 2010. “My time is so limited, but I’ve definitely thought about finishing it. If I were to do it all over again, I would have studied something specific in agriculture, because I live on a farm now and do not know what I am doing.”
36) San Diego State: Raquel Welch
The One Million Years BC bombshell left school due to her heavy schedule as a weather anchor for a local TV station.
35) Iowa State: George Washington Carver
The man Time magazine called the Black Leonardo – great nickname – attended the Ames university for both undergrad and graduate studies.
34) Wichita State: Big Show
The future WWE World Heavyweight Champion, then known as Paul Wight, averaged 2.0 points and 2.3 rebounds per game as a Shocker.
33) Providence: Janeane Garofalo
The Wet Hot American Summer star won the title of Funniest Person in Rhode Island in a comedy search competition while studying history at the Catholic school.
32) Gonzaga: Bing Crosby
The crooner enrolled at Gonzaga College in 1920 with the intent to become a lawyer – but sent away for a set of mail-order drums while in Spokane. The rest is history.
31) Robert Morris: Wale
The Maybach Music Group rapper briefly attended the Pittsburgh school on a football scholarship.
30) Arizona: Kristen Wiig
The longtime Saturday Night Live cast member was an art major in Tucson before dropping out to pursue acting.
29) Notre Dame: George Wendt
The famed barfly was expelled from the South Bend school after getting a 0.00 GPA the first semester of his junior year.
28) Louisville: Johnny Unitas
Unitas didn’t just play quarterback for the Cardinals – he also played safety, linebacker and returned punts.
27) Georgia: REM
The alt-rock pioneers – Michael Stipe, Peter Buck, Mike Mills and Bill Berry – all met at students on the Athens campus.
26) Georgetown: Bradley Cooper
The three-time Oscar nominee graduated from the DC school with honors – after transferring from Villanova – with a BA in English in 1997.
25) St John’s: J Cole
The first signee of Jay Z’s Roc Nation label nearly played hoops as a walk-on at St John’s.
24) Michigan State: James Caan
Sonny Corleone attended the East Lansing, Michigan school before transferring back home to Hofstra.
23) Indiana: Lee Majors
The Six Million Dollar Man himself went to Indiana on a football scholarship before a back injury prompted his turn to acting.
22) Northeastern: Jane Curtin
America’s favorite ignorant slut attended the Boston university from 1967-68.
21) West Virginia: Don Knotts
Mr Furley graduated with a bachelor’s degree in 1948 after returning from service in World War II.
20) Baylor: Willie Nelson
Studied agriculture and joined Tau Kappa Epsilon at Baylor. Later smoked a joint on the roof of the White House.
19) Butler: Kurt Vonnegut
The Slaughterhouse-Five author – and one-time Sports Illustrated staffer – attended the Indianapolis school but left amid mediocre grades in 1942.
18) Buffalo: Terry Gross
The beloved host of NPR’s Fresh Air earned a bachelor’s in English and master’s in communication at the SUNY school.
17) Albany: Steve Guttenberg
The Police Academy star went to school to become a dentist before dipping out to Hollywood to try his luck as an actor.
16) Kansas: Wilt Chamberlain
A prolific scorer on and off the court, the Hall of Fame center was the tallest Jayhawk during the 1950s.
15) Georgia State: Ludacris
The recording artist, then Chris Bridges, studied music management at the Atlanta school.
14) Purdue: Orville Redenbacher
The future popcorn magnate led a busy life at the West Lafayette school as a member of the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity, the marching band and the track team.
13) Oklahoma State: Gary Busey
The Point Break and Surviving the Game star left Stillwater school just one credit short of graduation.
12) Iowa: Gene Wilder
A decade an a half before he became Willy Wonka, the celebrated actor studied communication and theatre arts and pledged Alpha Epsilon Pi fraternity at the Iowa City school.
11) Ohio State: Roy Lichtenstein
The famous pop artist graduated from the Columbus university after studies that were interrupted by World War II.
10) Ole Miss: William Faulkner
The Nobel Prize-winning author of The Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying skipped classes often at Mississippi, getting sub-par grades and dropping out after three semesters.
9) Harvard: Norman Mailer
The novelist, journalist and Muhammad Ali confidant enrolled in Harvard at 16 years old, graduating in 1943 before joining the Army.
8) Texas: Janis Joplin
She’d hardly been on campus a month when the campus newspaper the Daily Texan profiled her. The headline: She Dares to Be Different.
7) UCLA: James Dean
The Rebel Without A Cause heartthrob dropped out of UCLA after one semester of acting study to pursue a full-time acting career.
6) Cincinnati: George Clooney
Briefly attended before star turn as plastic factory foreman Booker on Roseanne.
5) Wisconsin: Butch Vig
The producer of Nirvana’s Nevermind, The Smashing Pumpkins’ Gish and Sonic Youth’s Dirty studied at Madison and was a mainstay in the local music scene.
4) Virginia: Tina Fey
Celebrated comedienne, Bossypants, Philly product and all-around badass graduated from the Charlottesville school in 1992 with a BA in drama.
3) Oregon: Ken Kesey
The influential author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – “too young to be a beatnik, and too old to be a hippie” – graduated with a degree in speech and communication in 1957.
2) Kentucky: Harry Dean Stanton
An acting legend and cultural treasure with more than 200 movies and TV shows to his credit, he studied theater in Lexington before serving in the Navy in World War II.
1) Maryland: Larry David
Before creating Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, he was a Terp. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
