A 21-year-old caller named Joseph from Long Island, New York, reached out to Dave Ramsey and Jade Warshaw with a problem weighing heavily on him: he’s already $24,000 in student loan debt and feels trapped by his immigrant parents' dream for him to become a lawyer.
Pressure To Follow A Dream That Isn’t His Own
“Since a young age, I was kind of told that, hey, when you grow up, you have to be a doctor or a lawyer,” Joseph explained on a recent “The Ramsey Show.” “And I kind of believed it and still did believe up until a few years ago that that was my only real option.”
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Now approaching his 22nd birthday, Joseph is a senior at a community college majoring in business management. He works part-time in the restaurant industry, making around $20,000 a year, and has begun a real estate course with encouragement from local brokers who are willing to hire him once he's licensed.
Still, his parents continue to push the idea of law school, which could add $100,000 to $150,000 more in student debt. Joseph admitted he’s not passionate about becoming a lawyer and only considered it because “whatever makes the money.”
Warshaw was quick to challenge that logic. “It's so much money to go in with no passion,” she said. “I don't think the prospect of ‘I could make a lot of money one day’ is enough.”
Hosts urged Joseph to stop chasing a paycheck and instead figure out what he really wants to do with his life. “Figure out what you want to be and then reverse-engineer how to get there,” said Ramsey.
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He also noted that Joseph was essentially being asked to go into six-figure debt to live someone else's dream. “You're living your parents' dream and you’re having to finance it,” he said. “So I'm with you on that one, Joseph. I think we're going to tell mom and dad, ‘Hey, I’m going to go live the American dream. I just found out it’s different than you thought it was. It’s not a lawyer.'”
Joseph's parents aren't lawyers themselves. They immigrated to the U.S. and work paycheck to paycheck. Ramsey acknowledged their intentions were good, but outdated. He compared their mindset to that of his own grandmother, who couldn't understand his career as an author and entrepreneur because her idea of success was rooted in working 38 years at a stable company.
“They want good things for you. They’re not bad people,” Ramsey said. “But from where they came from, that's the definition of success.”
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Ramsey encouraged him to take the included assessment and ask, “What can I do that when I’m 40, the 40-year-old version of you is going to look back and thank you for doing the soul searching?”
As for real estate, Ramsey didn't dismiss the option but reminded Joseph it would take effort to build credibility at his age. “Twenty-two-year-olds selling houses have a problem. You’re going to have to grow a mustache,” he joked.
Still, he told Joseph the door is open. What matters most is choosing a path based on passion and potential, not pressure and debt.
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Image: Shutterstock
