Have you seen the movie “Hall Pass?” It starred Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis. As a comedy lover, it was pretty funny, but it did bring up a topic that many men talk about. What if your partner gave you a one-time pass to cheat on them? The concept of an open relationship seems like it might be great. In modern society, it’s even become somewhat normal. However, if you are in a committed relationship, you shouldn’t think your other half will ever give you permission to cheat. Here are eight reasons why.
1. She Values Commitment—And Expects You To As Well
When she committed to you, she didn’t just sign up for date nights and vacations. She committed to being your person, emotionally and physically. Most women see fidelity as the foundation of a relationship, not a flexible option. When you ask to cheat, it doesn’t sound like honesty—it sounds like you’re looking for a loophole in your promises. Relationship boundaries include mutual expectations, and fidelity is usually one of the most sacred.
2. Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable
Trust isn’t just about not lying—it’s about feeling emotionally safe in a relationship. The second you ask to sleep with someone else, you’re telling her she’s not enough, whether you mean to or not. That erodes the very safety she relies on to be vulnerable with you. Emotional betrayal can cut deeper than physical cheating, and just suggesting it often feels like a betrayal. Once that emotional security is cracked, it’s hard to repair.
3. She’s Not Interested In Sharing You
The idea of sharing you your time, attention, and body with someone else can be deeply unsettling. You might frame it as a physical thing, but most women know that even “just sex” can tangle into emotional territory fast. Even if she trusts you, she doesn’t trust the situation or the other person. Monogamy, for her, isn’t about ownership—it’s about respect. Respecting relationship boundaries means understanding that sharing isn’t always sexy—it’s a dealbreaker.
4. Cheating Permission Feels Like Emotional Manipulation
Sometimes men frame it as, “If I’m honest and ask, isn’t that better than sneaking around?” While honesty is important, asking for permission to cheat can feel like emotional blackmail. It puts the burden on her to say no and risk upsetting you, or say yes and betray herself. That’s not open communication—it’s pressure. Relationship boundaries work when both partners feel safe and respected, not manipulated into agreement.
5. It Makes Her Question Everything
The second you bring up wanting to cheat, even with permission, she’s going to question the entire relationship. Is she not enough? Has she been fooling herself about your connection? Has this been your plan all along? Whether or not you mean to, you’ve introduced doubt and insecurity into something that was supposed to feel safe. Once she starts questioning things, trust becomes a fragile, uphill battle.
6. She Knows It Won’t Just Be About Sex
You might tell her, “It’s just physical,” but she’s not buying it. She knows intimacy isn’t something you can easily detach from emotion. And even if you could, would the other woman be able to? What happens when that “just for fun” fling starts texting you after hours or causing tension between you two? It rarely stays as casual as promised. Relationship boundaries are in place to protect couples from these very complications.
7. It Could Open A Door She Doesn’t Want Opened
Maybe she’d technically be allowed to cheat, too—but does she even want to go down that road? Giving you permission to cheat often sets a precedent, even if unintentionally. That leads to resentment, jealousy, and competition, not connection. Some doors, once opened, are hard to close. She’d rather keep the relationship sacred than turn it into an emotional gamble.
8. She’s Worth More Than Settling
At the end of the day, if you’re asking to cheat, she may feel like you’re asking her to accept less than she deserves. She’s not interested in being a placeholder while you chase someone new. She wants to be chosen every day, not tolerated until you get the green light to look elsewhere. Relationship boundaries matter because she knows her worth, and settling for someone who wants to step out on her doesn’t align with that.
Loyalty Isn’t Old-Fashioned—It’s Still Everything
While there is plenty changing in today’s society, most women still value loyalty and trust. In fact, it is still the most important currency in any intimate relationship. She doesn’t want to have to share your attention (or your intimacy) with anyone else. So, if you think cheating with permission is something that will happen for you, it’s likely not going to happen. If it does, it is typically just a shortcut to a breakup. Respect your partner’s boundaries and know when it’s time to walk away if you don’t want to remain loyal.
Would you ever ask for permission to cheat, or forgive someone who did? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
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