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Indrė Lukošiūtė

79 Things Teachers Say Or Do That Are Unhinged But Actually Work

It takes a special type of human to become a teacher. To choose that line of work and then to follow through and actually survive every day is bravery at its best. Your class is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get. It might be a mix of sweet, salty, sour, soft and hard, but many teachers will admit that despite the struggles, their work brings them great joy. They’re shaping and molding the next generation. And they deserve all the thanks in the world.

Someone recently asked teachers to share their most unhinged hacks: the ones that could make a first year teacher’s jaw drop, or have veteran educators slow-clapping in amazement. Hundreds of comments came pouring in. Some were really sweet, while others were plain savage. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best in a nod to all the teachers out there doing the most to survive and make sure our children thrive.

#1

There was a substitute teacher (former Marine). Due to an injury, he had to wear a plastic corset around his torso. He was sent to a class that had the reputation of being uncontrollable. He went there for the first time, wearing his suit. The class really was noisy and annoying…the teacher sat down and didn’t say a word. A breeze from the windows made his tie fly around a bit. He then picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest to fix it…The class was sweet as sugar from that moment on

Image credits: mamue2804

Many teachers put their heart and soul into their work. They show up day after day for their students, and some go above and beyond in, and out of, the classroom. They are essential in shaping the future by bringing out the best in our future leaders. Yet, statistics paint a bleak picture of the state of education and the conditions that teachers are being forced to operate under.

According to the The Global Status of Teachers 2024 (GST) report, teacher shortages constitute a crisis with profound implications for education. A separate UNESCO report reveals that there's an urgent need for 44 million primary and secondary teachers worldwide by 2030. Sub-Saharan Africa is especially affected, warns UNESCO, adding that the region needs an estimated 15 million new teachers by 2030.

#2

“Let’s take that attitude of yours and bring it down to where your grades probably are so that at least one thing matches today.”

Image credits: mister.profe

#3

“Can every one in the room who has a HS diploma raised their hand? Bachelor’s degree? Master’s degree?” Oh look it’s only me! Then why don’t you sit down and maybe learn something! Mmm ok.”

Image credits: justcallmesweet

North America and Europe are also battling, warns UNESCO. "Despite well-resourced education systems, these regions struggle to recruit and retain qualified educators, posing significant challenges to educational quality and equity."

The U.N. educational body revealed that many teachers are leaving the profession within the first five years. "Attrition rates among primary teachers almost doubled from 4.62 per cent globally in 2015 to 9.06 in 2022," notes the UNESCO report. Being overworked, underpaid, having poor working conditions, and a lack of professional support are among the reasons they're quitting.

#4

I start singing obnoxiously loud when my students won't stop talking. Works every time. I can’t sing, so they don’t wanna hear it

Image credits: _beasimonee

#5

When a kid is on 10 and starting to realize they are on the wrong path, I keep it real. "You could easily get in trouble right now, and you'd deserve it. But I'm more interested in what you do next. Your next move needs to be your best move. So, what're you going to do to get back on the best path?" I got in trouble all throughout school and I wish somebody would've helped me decide my next move, instead of threatening me with trouble because that did not work.

Image credits: mrkinetik

#6

I drew a heart on the white board and if I (or another student) caught a student doing something kind, they wrote their name in the heart. At the end of the week, those kids with three or more names in the heart got to have lunch with me on Monday and share about their weekend. It changed my whole classroom dynamic and the toughest kids bought into it most. I had to keep making bigger and bigger hearts to hold all the names

Education International (EI) spoke to 204 teacher unions across 121 countries to get a clearer picture of the current state of teaching conditions, and find out more about the crisis. "According to unions, the most significant factor contributing to these shortages is inadequate pay and compensation," notes the EI report.

"Additional drivers include limited career progression, ineffective management practices, excessive workloads, and low professional status—challenges rooted in the broader issue of the teaching profession's low status in many countries," the report adds.

#7

I teach elementary. “Everyone point at the teacher. Ok. That’s what I thought.”

Image credits: lorijones6918

#8

One day one of my students cussed at me. I did not say a word to him. I called his mother and put her on speaker phone and said “what did you say to me?” I don’t even think I said hello. He was silent!! We were good from that day.

Image credits: enensia_takhi

#9

I looked a female student who was “acting out,” right in the eye and said to her, “I see you and all you need is love and attention.” Her entire bad girl demeanor melted and I was able to build with her from that moment.

Image credits: enensia_takhi

EI says that although teachers are widely acknowledged for their essential contributions to society, unions report that they are often undervalued compared to other professions and perceived as an unattractive career choice for younger generations.

"According to unions, challenging working conditions—including excessive workloads, large class sizes, insufficient respect, and mental health challenges—exacerbate this issue," reads the EI report. "These systemic problems are frequently overlooked by governments, further compounding teachers’ negative experiences and contributing to the global teacher shortage."

#10

When a student talks over me: "Everyone quiet down please X obviously has something very important to say and we don't want to be rude and interrupt."
Or
"You clearly seem to be an expert on this so please go ahead and teach this lesson for me cuz I could definitely use a break."

Image credits: keymiester

#11

This one comes from my mom, and it’s absolutely brilliant. There’s a kid in her class who thought farting was the most hilarious thing they could do. So, she pulled them aside and sincerely asked “Is everything okay? Is there a medical issue I should know about? Do your parents know? I’m happy to call your mom and explain it for you so you can get help.” If they call your bluff, do it, but make the call seem like you are genuinely concerned.

Image credits: holly.reading.books

#12

My daughter’s former school does the “POW and wow” circle with her students. The kids get an opportunity to tell the class something good or bad that they want to share, and the kids get to either celebrate or offer support to their classmates.

Image credits: auscgirl

The crisis is not to be taken lightly, warns UNESCO. It's leading to larger class sizes, overburdened educators, educational disparities, and is putting financial strain on educational systems worldwide.

In the United States alone, there were over 55,000 teacher shortages entering the 2024-2025 school year, while around 300,000 other teaching positions were being staffed by non-credentialed personnel. That's according to K12 Digest.

#13

School social worker here. I tell some of my kids, ain’t NO WAY you’re worried about the next person with THESE grades. Keep your head in your business

Image credits: lamatatan_90

#14

Me: We need to make a phone call home.
S: So what? Nothing will happen.
Me: Not your home. I’m calling my home so you can explain to my husband why you think your disrespect toward me is acceptable.

Image credits: divakatana

#15

I only had issues with specific students, and a few of them I was in a texting level relationship with the moms, so when they’d get out of hand, I’d silently walk over to my phone, draft a message in moms message thread, and silently walk over and show the student the text before hitting send. I never once had to send any of those drafted texts

Image credits: great_dame710

"The global teacher shortage demands urgency," warns UNESCO, adding that more attention needs to be given to recruitment, teacher motivation, well-being, retention, training, working conditions, and social status.

"Creating attractive career pathways with equitable access to professional development, autonomy, and purpose is crucial in sustaining teachers' motivation," reads the UNESCO report. "Recognizing the multi-faceted nature of this issue and proposing comprehensive strategies is crucial to finding lasting solutions."

#16

A student complained about doing work and said his mom thought it was ridiculous. I told him he could put it in the pile I file my other complaints. He asked where it was, I placed a trash can by his desk and kept walking.

Image credits: dream_of_color

#17

I tried the “if you’re ugly keep talking” in my favorite class. The inmediate silence was deafening

Image credits: master_jedi_rios

#18

"I don't know what show you're watching but my show is the one you paid for."

Image credits: jeffurry312

Education International, meanwhile, is calling on policymakers to prioritize investments in teachers’ working conditions and elevate their status to ensure equitable and high-quality education for all. "By addressing these challenges collectively, the teaching profession can be transformed into a sustainable and respected cornerstone of society," says EI.

#19

Years ago, when I taught middle school, I was a speech and theatre teacher. My classes were very active and participatory, obviously. Transitions could be difficult. One day, I had been working on the set for our upcoming play during my prep and I had a roll of duct tape on my arm when I went back to my room. I had forgotten it was there. My students arrived and were struggling to get settled. After asking them to quiet down so we could get started two times, I stood at the front of the room, leaning on my desk and put on my “teacher look.” It works kind of like the wave—a couple of students notice and get quiet, then a few more notice, and so on. When they were all quiet, I realized that the roll of duct tape was still on my arm. Before I started talking, I took it off and placed it on the corner of my desk. I never said a word about it, just left it there. For the rest of the semester.
Of course, they all knew it wasn’t a threat and that I would never threaten much less actually use the duct tape, but they seemed to take it as a visual reminder to be quiet.

Image credits: knickknitter

#20

“That sounds like a you problem.” - by this time in the year, my middle schoolers have heard this so much that they start saying it to each other when they make an excuse… I had one kid even come to me and say “I have a me problem, but I don’t know how to solve it.”

#21

Swearing just ONCE with middle school students in a very appropriate setting gets their respect every time. “I can’t stop you from speaking or force you not to swear. But can you please stop saying f**k every other f**king word”.

Image credits: eyes_ofgrace

#22

I used to teach high school seniors. One day I asked for quiet. Asked again. Raised my voice a bit and asked again.
Then I looked at a quiet girl in the front row and said at a normal volume, “Do you think it would help if I said ‘shut the f**k up’?”
The girl practically fell off her chair laughing. Several nearby heads swiveled toward me in shock.
“Did you just…?” “Wait, what? What did she say?”
I got multiple requests to say it again. I said, “Nope, you missed it. Be quieter next time.”

#23

Occasionally I choose a "Class Representative" for the day. Students don't know who it is, but I tell them I'm watching this student all day for following directions, trying their best, and respecting their classmates. At the end of the day, they can earn a prize for the whole class. Everyone wants to be the person caught doing those things and I can usually get a normally rowdy student to calm down.

#24

When I couldn’t get them to focus and my “good teacher” methods to redirect failed, I calmly walked into a corner in the classroom and loudly cackled like the witch dive bombing Emerald City. Then I turned and calmly returned to teaching like nothing happened.

Image credits: gretchenpetry

#25

I just shadowed a teacher who on the first day of school started a hand raising system so she doesn't have to ask everytime what they want.
Raise 1 finger for help w material or assignment, 2 for bathroom, 3 for I feel sick. She just points at the kid and nods yes or no, never skips a word on her lesson plan.

#26

When I taught highschool, fine art (painting, drawing, pottery etc) and had students be disrespectful, not following directions, I would let them know they have shown me they want to be my assistant for the day. They dont want to learn thats fine, they will learn a trade/skill and get to work. I made them do every odd job, sweep, dust, reorganize closets. Worked like a charm everytime and some semesters I had the cleanest rooms in the school

#27

I am a Principal's Secretary, I coach, and I drive a bus. I am blessed with great students. But in the past [since I'm an hourly paid employee] on a rowdy buses I've subbed to help out ...I'd pull over, park, put my feet on dash and start reading a book.
When they ask... I say, "Y'all the ones that want to get home, I get paid by the hour. So ... I'm good to sit here and get paid to read until I can drive Y'all safely.".... instant calm cause they want to be home

#28

I always took kids out in the hallway for a private check-in when things went sideways. Half the time, the answer to “What’s going on for you today?” was a heartbreaking summary of the c**p they had been dealing with outside my classroom.

#29

You’re doing a lot of talking for so many missing assignments. If you spent half the time you do yapping to give some real opinions in writing I bet your grade would actually surpass the number of [insert social media] followers you have. (You could also insert number of points scored at a game if they’re an athlete.)
-HS English (but really works with freshmen)

Image credits: theabnerdoodle

#30

"If you're in this room with me, you're going places. Soon you will begin to diverge from friends of yours who don't pass through this doorway. You can date them, ride to school with them, sit with them in the cafeteria, and like their posts, but if you're here with me, you're taking the highest road possible. I am grossly overqualified for this job. Let me say that again. I'm grossly overqualified for this job. But I'm here with you, and you are everything. You're welcome. Let's get busy."

Image credits: brainhospice

#31

“Try Jesus, don’t try me.”

Image credits: gsj612

#32

“You are testing the limitations of my coffee.”

Image credits: gsj612

#33

If you interrupt the audiobook more than once you BECOME the audiobook and read aloud as I interrupt you when I feel like it.

Image credits: abbynormansays

#34

My first year teaching keyboarding the kids popped off the keys on one keyboard and rearranged them to say “u mad bro”. I took all of the keyboards out, printed out keyboards on paper and made them type on paper for a few days. It was miserable but they never damaged my computers again

#35

When a class is driving me nuts and I’m at the front of the room, I’ll just turn around and place my head against the board for a few seconds (to make sure they all notice I’m doing it) and then *lightly* tap my forehead against the board. It’s unexpected but they also get the message

#36

"Everybody stand up at your desk
Now cover your eyes with your left hand
Now point your other hand north!"
"Now put both your arms down at your side
Only two of you were correct
That means you don't know what you thought you knew, and that's why you're here
Let's get started."

#37

Rug cleaning videos. If I need my class to calm in the morning, I ask them to figure out how many rinses it will take to clean a rug.

Image credits: sunshinerae90

#38

When teenage boys start rough-housing, I tell them that it's okay to wanna touch each other so much but they need to do it on their own time. Then they're too busy insisting they do NOT want to touch other dudes --and also trying not to offend me, their queer English teacher-- to continue disturbing my class :)

#39

H.S. Teacher Once you hit March April you get flagrantly disrespectful I call you by your grade “Ok 8… how you got all this “sense” but you older than your grade?

Image credits: dr_tmt27

#40

Mine (8th grade) only work if you've been at the same site for a while. When I've called a kid's name at least a couple of times & they don't respond; I call them by a sibling's name. The snapped head hangs in shame once I let them know it was deliberate. OR someone's acting up, pull out phone, "Hmm. Let's see what your family has to say about you." "I don't care if you call my parent." "Oh, I'm not doing that. I'm texting your older siblings&cousins. I'm sure they'd like to know about this."

Image credits: cjristinanelosn

#41

Call and responses to get their attention.
EX- me: It's peanut butter... Them: Jelly Time!
Me: And a HUSH fell over the crowd...Them: Huuusshhh!!
Me: AVENGERS... Them : ASSEMBLE!!

#42

I point to random corners in the room and say “don’t make me pull the camera footage.”

Image credits: doinitnthefield

#43

My favorite right now is the announcement “I’m on whatever you’re on twin so let me know how WE are acting” they tighten up quick.

#44

Retired HS ELA teacher: plagiarism really started to become a problem (and this is before Chat GPT). Instead of me making the call home to it, my rule was that the student had to take their phone into the hallway and call their parent while I stood there. I would tell them my policy at the start of the year, and remind them of it as the year went on. By April, when reminded of the policy, there would always be some kid in the back mumbling, “and she means it!”

#45

“point to who thinks it’s ok to talk while I’m talking”

Image credits: foreverfindingx

#46

Call the parent and give them great news about their kid! FIND SOMETHING good to say! Praise them for raising a well behaved scholar! A positive phone call home even when they don’t deserve it has been my go to hack!
If I need to call again for a correction I now have the parent’s buy in.

#47

If a student swears in my (elementary) classroom, they get to call home and repeat the word EXACTLY as they said it. If they can say it in class they can repeat it to a parent.
I also ask them which parent they’d prefer I call for good news and which for bad news.

#48

A colleague once had a poster in her high school classroom that said, “I match energy.” When needed, she’d stop class, point to the poster, and say, “Meet me halfway.”

#49

I had the *student* call the parent on my room phone and report the behavior/issue so I didn’t have to.
Only had to do that once; word spread quickly.

#50

They have to fill out a “Refusal to Work Form” and sign it when they’re playing around and not doing anything. Then I send it to their parents and say “this is why you’ll see a Z for today.”

#51

“That’s a bold statement for someone who has a 9 pm bedtime.”

#52

The momentum of compliance. Even the most aggro student is in your thrall once you make them adjust even one small thing. Tuck a shirt in, straighten a collar, pull pants up - they all work like magic

#53

My number one hack to help students course-correct with dignity:
If a student of any age swears in front of me or makes a joke that is more edgy or unkind than they had intended, unless they are being deliberately cruel, my usual response is, “If you could go back ten seconds in time and do/say that differently, would you?” The response is always a yes.

#54

“Omg! We are so happy to have [student’s name] here! Come on up with that expertise and teach the class!” and then I go sit down and wait. And wait. When they don’t do anything I say “Yes, the correct response was sit down and keep your mouth shut.”

#55

If the class is unresponsive when you ask a question: “I know you don’t know the answer. But if you DID know, what would it be?” Hands shoot up.

#56

I apologize when I've messed up, lost patience, raised my voice. I let my students know I'm a person, I'm fallible, and I show them what being accountable looks like.

#57

Full names in your most paternal voice possible. I have a kid to this day who will stop moving dead in his tracks because knows if I see him doing something he's not supposed to, he's going to hear all four of his names. Hes junior now. I had him in 7th grade. Especially works if they got named after their grandparent

#58

When I taught elementary and the kids were too loud, I would just start whispering. There’s always one kid who asks “Miss why are you whispering?” And I would respond “why are you all yelling?”. 99.9% of the time it would quiet down.

#59

I'm sarcastic AF. When students give me attitude I look behind me dramatically and say who are you talking to like that???? No one is behind me and I KNOW you're not talking to ME like that!! It works well 99 % of the time. I've also stopped repeating myself and will just glare at a student until they comply.

#60

Kindergarten teacher here:
"Go on try to hit me, I hit back." I don't actually hit back, but they never wanna find out.

#61

I tell everyone who is talking to “stop flirting” boys, girls, boys and girls, girls and girls, boys and boys. It’s iconic.

#62

I will turn off the AC and I don't care if we all roast!

#63

If you need to borrow a pencil, you have to give me something as collateral. A shoe will do. You get your shoe back when my pencil is returned to the spare pencil box. Don’t like that option?! Bring your own pencil.

#64

“Hey, do you need some ziploc baggies so you can save some of that drama for your mama?”

Image credits: popgunchaos

#65

Former Para educator, elementary level here. If a class I had was out of pocket, I would start a timer on the smart board. When someone talked, I would restart the timer. In addition, I would also tack on extra time if a studen wanted to test my patience. Depending on behavior, some could warn it back. I covered a lot of classes. When other teachers passed by, they were always amazed how quiet and respectful the students were.

#66

"There are whole bunch of majors over that way (points out window) where you won't have to learn this."

#67

I teach Pre-K, when my kids act up, I make them turn 3 years old again, and they have to earn becoming a 4-year-old

#68

“There has not been a machine invented that can measure how little I care.”

#69

It is so much more effective to whisper to that disobedient student than to raise your voice. Every time!

#70

One of my former students from 20 years ago is now my friend. She remembers one burn I told her “Explain to me how the student with the highest IQ has the lowest grade.”
20 years later and she still remembers it

#71

Our PreK-1 building is right behind ours, so when my 4th or 5th graders are struggling with basic classroom rules, like raising hands, lining up, etc. I threaten to walk them over to the other building so those younger kids can show them how it's done.

#72

This is going to sound so dumb but rain frogs.
When there is child discourse among kids in my classroom, I play rain frogs videos. It eases the tensions and allows me to intervene without yelling.
Frog butts always win.

#73

After about 1/2 way into the year when my grade 5’s know me and we have a community we yell “ shame” when someone does what is very unexpected. It works.

#74

My English teacher caught a student doing homework for another class while she was teaching. She stopped and SHREDDED it in front of the class - that definitely stopped that behavior

#75

1st year teacher & this one usually get them … me: “do you have ears?” student: “yes” me:”so why aren’t you listening?” then get real quiet

#76

Offer to contact parents by calling them by their first name. Or if they’re loud, “Do you need a hug?”
At this point in the year, “Y’all better turn your crazy off before I have to turn mine on.”

#77

A kid can’t keep an attitude with bubbles being blown at them.

#78

Asked a kid if he needed me to bother Ann at Bank of America. He didn't want me to bother her, so he got it together

#79

In a joking manner (and depending on the kid) I tell the “be careful, I know where you live.” Doesn’t work with everyone, but with the right kids it gets their attention.

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