Despite what you might hear some of your friends tell you in a panicky voice, turning 30 is not the end of the world. And the same goes for any other impressively big-looking jubilee! With life experience, you accumulate lots of knowledge about how the world works.
And even though it’s impossible to turn back time, you can use your hard-won wisdom to improve your future and give other people a helping hand in making the most of their youth. We’ve collected some of the best life advice that people aged 30 and over have shared in a couple of spot-on online threads. Check out the tips as you scroll down—you might find something useful no matter your age!
Bored Panda got in touch with Jodi Wellman, MAPP, who was kind enough to explain why big birthday milestones are so important to us, as well as how to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to the overwhelming amount of information and advice found online. You'll find her insights below. Wellman is the founder of Four Thousand Mondays and the author of You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.
#1
You only get one body. Take care of it. Exercise, even if it’s just regular walks. Eat better. Get good sleep. Any movement beats sitting on the couch.
And don’t amass STUFF when you’re young. You have to move it all and live with it all.
Image credits: Mokelachild
"The psychology world refers to consequential moments that expose us to the boundaries of our existence as 'boundary moments.' Birthdays that end with zeros can act as profound boundary moments because they trigger feelings that the decade to come feels subjectively different than the one we just crushed, even if we’re the same person when we turn forty on Wednesday as we were on Tuesday when we were only thirty-nine," Wellman explained to Bored Panda via email.
"One idea to stress less over the big birthdays is to tap into the 'fresh start effect'—the phenomenon where salient temporal landmarks provide the motivation for aspirational behavior," she said that these fresh starts motivate us to get our act together.
"New Year’s resolutions, the first day of the month, and starting a new decade of life can be explained by science! Boundaries between the same-old, same-old, ordinary past and the promise of a new and improved clean slate future ignites the confidence we need to pursue and stick with our goals," she said.
#2
Don’t EVER feel bad for taking days off work. If you got PTO, use it.
Image credits: Ziodynes
#3
Stop worrying about other people think, you can't control how other people feel. Focus on yourself.
Image credits: reddrambler
"Big birthday milestones offer tremendous opportunities to redefine and redesign our lives; we get to ask ourselves who we’d like to evolve into for the next ten-year chapter of our existence. What activities, traits, and relationships do we want to carry forward from the last decade, and what might we want to ditch in a fresh start towards being the best versions of ourselves."
Meanwhile, we asked Wellman for her advice on sifting through the huge amount of information to be found online to get to what's truly useful and helpful. "I encourage a healthy 'quality and quantity' questioning exercise when embarking on an online info-seeking session," she said.
"In terms of quality, ask yourself if the source you’re referring to is reputable. It’s better to research that weird lump you found on your body by perusing a hospital/ MD-sanctioned website than it is to dive into a chat thread with contributions from hypochondriacs who’ve self-diagnosed every bump on the body as stage-four cancer," Wellman advised.
#4
Become someone that you can put up with... The older you get, the harder it becomes to change, even when you don't like who you are.
You'll meet awful, miserable people, who continue to be awful and miserable because they've been doing it for too long and it's all they know... Being an a*****e is both a crime and a punishment.
Image credits: NormGthePaintballGuy
#5
Save money, have fun and enjoy your ability to recover faster. It will fade.
Image credits: anon
#6
Save money.
Look after your teeth. Clean them a lot
Time flies in your 20s. Your 30s come around faster than you think. Have fun but also be mindful of this. Dont waste too much time.
Image credits: ProD_GY
"In terms of the quantity question, this can come down to how much time and/or volume you are letting yourself spend surfing and consulting information sources," she noted that the large number of details to be found online can be both a blessing and a curse.
"Sometimes, it’s helpful to research a topic for 20 minutes tops… or to agree to consult only four reputable sources before falling down the internet rabbit hole. You can make a smart decision on what mattress to buy, for example, without spending seven hours researching the merits of memory foam vs. coils."
Wellman also urged everyone to be honest with themselves whether they're "succumbing to the oh-so-natural confirmation bias—that tendency we have to seek out and give greater credence to information that supports what we already believe or want to be true." It's something that many of us do unconsciously.
"If you’re considering different cities to travel to for an upcoming vacation, for example, be suspicious if you click on all the 'Why You Absolutely Must Visit Prague' articles and conveniently skip over the 'Pitfalls of Prague' sources… because you really just want to reinforce your preference for visiting that city. Confirmation bias is a tough one to overcome, but it’s worth it to ask ourselves if our research is neutral or influenced."
#7
Keep learning. Every day. It accumulates so much over 10, 20, 30 years. The difference between people who are learning and those who don't is already noticeable at 20. At 40, it's huge. At 60, I believe it will be astronomical.
With learning I mean everything that's important, in particular things such as how to make friends and to be good friend, how to be a good parent, how to make sound financial decisions, and anything fun you want to learn. Just don't think you'll ever be done learning.
Image credits: FancyDimension2599
#8
Stop putting every minute of your life on social media, your young and stupid actions will haunt you.
Image credits: Tawebuse
#9
Floss. Prioritize sleep. Learn to be alone. Move your body every day try not to eat c**p or drink a lot of alcohol if you can because it’ll ruin your body Meditate meditate. Meditate.
Image credits: Gingersnapspeaks
According to ‘Relate,’ traditional life milestones are something that stress many people out. Millennials and members of Generation Z from the United Kingdom feel a lot more pressure than members of older generations when it comes to getting married, buying homes, and having kids.
Some of this pressure comes from the people themselves, as well as society in general, parents, and the media—both social and traditional.
Younger people are more likely to feel the pressure from social media. And men (69%) are more likely than women (60%) to feel more pressure when it comes to reaching life milestones.
#10
Work sucks.
Even if you like what you do, know that good feeling may not last.
Find value and enjoyment elsewhere in life.
Work is just for making money and paying bills.
You work so you can do the other stuff.
Image credits: Fair-Literature8300
#11
Travel often. Travel everywhere. Travel while you’re young enough to enjoy it. Money will return. Memories won’t. My dad saved every paycheck he’s ever had, as many in that generation did. “Save for retirement! You’re crazy if you don’t save every penny!” he used tell me I would work every day the rest of my life if I didn’t stop traveling and start saving. My dad died a few years back, about 6 months before his very first trip abroad. We used his retirement savings on a funeral.
Image credits: Any-Walk1691
#12
Marry someone smarter than you.
Be good to your teeth.
Make Dependability your most important quality.
Image credits: StarbuckPirate
‘Relate’ notes that some of the main reasons why people say they haven’t reached their life milestones (yet) include a lack of confidence (12%), putting others first (12%), and mental health issues (12%).
Generation Z, in particular, is feeling this confidence crisis most acutely, with 20% of respondents saying they have a fear of failure and 18% opening up that they lack motivation.
‘Relate’ counselor Natasha Silverman had this to say: “The early 30s seem to be a real crunch point, and people can judge themselves unfairly when they haven’t done things they think they ‘should have.’ The truth is that people do things at different points, not always in the same order, and some take a different path entirely. That’s absolutely valid and to be celebrated. It’s all about creating a life that’s authentic to you.”
#13
Get off the internet and learn to actually live in the real world.
Image credits: Bloody_Champion
#14
Invest some spare money. It's insane what compound interest can do even with lower amounts if you start early.
Image credits: Plastic-Suggestion95
#15
Get a toilet stool to prop your legs up while pooping. It lessens the likelihood of getting hemorrhoids.
Image credits: anon
Around a third of millennials and members of Generation Z thought that traditional life milestones were outdated.
Many young people feel that other, more modern milestones should be better recognized, including adopting, leaving an unhealthy job, completing a difficult physical challenge, deciding to stay single, seeking therapy, and clearing student debt, among others.
#16
Don’t pre-reject yourself. Apply for that job. Ask that person out. Even if the odds aren’t in your favor. If you’re too scared of a “no”, then you’ll never get a “yes”.
Image credits: Truck_Stop_Sushi
#17
Be able to distinguish a 'need' versus a 'want.'
Also, stop thinking 30 is old. I know OP doesn't outright say it, but the implication is that people in their 30s have it all figured out. Never stop learning new things.
Image credits: d13vs13
#18
1. **Invest in Yourself:** Focus on personal and professional development. Acquiring new skills and knowledge will pay off in the long run.
2. **Build Strong Relationships:** Cultivate meaningful connections with friends, family, and colleagues. Relationships play a crucial role in personal and professional success.
3. **Financial Planning:** Start saving and investing early. Establish good financial habits to secure your future.
4. **Embrace Change:** Be adaptable and open-minded. Life is full of changes, and being flexible helps you navigate challenges more effectively.
5. **Prioritize Well-being:** Take care of your physical and mental health. Establishing healthy habits now will contribute to a happier and more fulfilling life.
6. **Set Realistic Goals:** Define clear, achievable goals for yourself. Break them down into smaller steps and celebrate your successes along the way.
7. **Learn from Mistakes:** Don't be afraid to make mistakes. They are opportunities for growth and learning. Use failures as stepping stones to success.
8. **Travel and Explore:** If possible, explore different cultures and perspectives. Traveling broadens your horizons and enriches your life.
9. **Time Management:** Mastering time management is crucial. Prioritize tasks, avoid procrastination, and make the most of your time.
10. **Be Present:** Enjoy the present moment. Life moves quickly, and it's essential to appreciate the journey rather than constantly focusing on the destination.
Image credits: seeyam14
How old are you, and what’s the best life advice you’d give someone else, no matter their age, dear Pandas? Were you, or are you at all, worried about turning 30?
Do you wish you would have done something entirely different if you could go back in time? How do you motivate yourself to keep changing for the better? Let us know what you think in the comments!
#19
Never stop learning and always be curious.
Travel, career, hobbies, relationships, etc.
My favorite piece of advice that was ever given to me was: “break down the walls of second hand information and experience the world first hand.”
Obviously very generic but the point they were trying to make (I think) was to see things with your own eyes before making any sort of judgement.
Image credits: heykebin
#20
Take care of your body and never stop working out. And start saving for retirement. You will age, and you are responsible for your care until you die. Make sure your 90 year old self is okay. Be there for yourself. Start now.
Image credits: HellTrent
#21
Wear earplugs at concert and doing other loud things. I wish I had.
Image credits: Ms-Anthrop
#22
Take care of yourself first. Make sure you're doing what **you** need to do to get by in life & to have the life you want. The right people will find you / you will find them. If someone feels like they're not a match for you or your personality, don't push it! Don't try to change for them and don't try to change them. And of course, don't change your goals for anyone but you.
Your 20's are all about exploring and trying new things. Have fun, be safe, make good choices. Try to get outside every day even if it's just for a walk. Save money and try to make good habits stick. Learn how to cook, do your own finances, fix a leaky sink, garden, etc. Enjoy life !
Image credits: mwbrjb
#23
Enjoy life with your loved ones, save, and watch what you eat.
Image credits: anon
#24
Its way easier to stay in shape than get in shape.
Exercise.
Image credits: MariachiArchery
#25
Start saving for a house at 10 years old. You might have a deposit by you’re 30.
#26
Sunscreen.
Image credits: Fingercult
#27
***(1) Everyone who is really good at something was really bad at that same thing at one time***, unless they were a prodigy (extremely rare). Don't let fear of "failure" or embarrassment keep you from working towards your goals or experiencing new, great things. And nobody is really looking at you anyway.
***(2) Don't stress about keeping your life on some sort of timeline.*** Don't fall into thinking "I should be married by now" or "I should be well on my way to my career by now." Everyone finds their way at a different pace, and a lot of people make poor decisions when they become impatient to stay on this fictitious timeline.
***(3) At your job, find the good departmental/divisional administrative assistant that knows the ropes and is super competent, befriend this person, learn from them, and treat this person like gold***. These are the people who save your a*s and really get things done, and usually know a lot more about what is really going on and how things work than even the big bosses. Always ask nicely, always say thank you, nice gift at Christmas.
***(4) Being alone for a while is a lot better than being surrounded by toxic people***. Find friends who are emotionally healthy, fun, stimulating, and supportive. It's important to be supportive yourself when a friend has rough patch, but beware of people who are always in these rough patches.
***(5) If you are having trouble finding a good romantic relationship or making friends, take a break from the chase and work on yourself.*** Get yourself in good working order mentally and develop your interests. Interesting people who are relatively emotionally healthy rarely have trouble making good friends and dating.
***(6) Long term relationships are often a series of shorter term relationships where you fall in and out of love, in and out of infatuated periods.*** Not every rough patch means you should break up.
***(7) Don't stay in romantic relationships where you are more into them than they are to you***, this will end up draining you and shredding your self-esteem.
***(8) Don't listen to past-you who berates you for not starting things sooner. Listen to future-you who is so happy you started now.***.
#28
Study hard while you can. It gets harder to experience and learn new things as you get older, so grab what you can now.
Image credits: Pollyjuice22
#29
Don't listen to us old farts, live your life, make your own mistakes and learn from them.
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#30
Start a good workout routine and diet before you gain weight and your metabolism slows.
Image credits: anon
#31
Floss and compound interest are your friends. Never stop learning. Regular exercise, a healthy diet and spending time in nature do wonders for your mental health. Comparison is the thief of joy. Turn off the screens. Be grateful for what you already have, but set small, achievable goals each day. Drink plenty of water. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Don't be afraid of death...it's going to get us all. Just enjoy the ride.
#32
You don't get things if you don't ask for them.
If it's not written down, it didn't happen
If you fall, you know a lot more on your second attempt.
#33
Don’t date the man (or woman) who asks for nudes before he has officially made your relationship exclusive. He has a folder with many women’s nudes at his convenience.
A lot of people will ask, doesn’t mean you should.
#34
The distinction between 20s and older people isn't that much. Honestly you blink and you are suddenly older and nothing really about you has changed. You look feel sound and think the same but somehow you've gone deep into your 30s in a blink. 35 this year. I genuinely mean 25 doesn't seem like it was long ago. I still do the same stuff I was doing then and my life hasn't changed that much.
#35
Being kind, generous, honest, etc..(just basically a good person) is 1000x more important than being strong, dominant, successful, wealthy, etc. One can be all of the above at the same time but the World doesn't need any more "win-at-all-cost a******s".
#36
HEALTH should be a top priority
I’ve managed to stay in decent shape over the years and it’s allowed me to continue to participate in the hobbies I love (snowboarding, hiking, kayaking) but I have 100% seen friends and family slowly start to become out of shape and stop coming out to the mountains with me less and less. I get that priorities change but you have to live in your body literally your whole life so you may as well try to put a little muscle on and enjoy the ride.
Also, be kind to your knees 😅.
#37
The world doesn't owe you a god d**n thing.
#38
Don't make debt. Don't buy s**t you don't need. Save as much money as you can.
#39
Don't sleep with people to make them like you, and never try to talk someone into "giving you a chance". You might eventually wear them down but I promise it won't end well.
#40
Just because someone is interested in you, it does not mean they care about you.
#41
Save save save. Invest in an index fund. $1 saved in your 20s is worth a hundred in your 50s due to compound interest so even if you're only contributing a $100 a month, it's worth it, but invest as much as possible.
Research all of the discounts available to the under 26 set for travel and so on. Also look up training programs, volunteer programs, etc etc anything to get you paid travel around the country and/or abroad. Americorps, teaching English etc etc.
Make as many friends as possible because your friends drop off after everyone is married and scattered so stay in touch as much as possible. Vacation with them when you live in different cities.
Use meetup.com for hobbies and networking.
Exercise. After 40 it's almost impossible to lose weight so you need to get healthy now and stay that way. If you don't want to sweat, do tai chi or qi gong and walk 30 minutes a day. .
Image credits: Fredredphooey
#42
Success in the cooperate world is 50% having the skills and 50% being liked.
The popularity contest doesn't end in high school or university.
Image credits: anon
#43
Stay out of debt.
Live on a budget.
Start saving for retirement the first day you start earning a paycheck.
Surround yourself with good people, not bad or foolish people.
Copy and take advise from people that are succeeding, not people that are failing.
Be honest and true to your values and morals.
Don't complain, find solutions.
Set goals and recognize that even a long term goal is just a lot of tiny steps taken every single day.
Give love, be generous with those you care about.
Don't expect respect, realize that it is earned.
Be a good friend, stay in touch, write letters and thank you notes.
Keep your word.
Don't try to justify bad decisions.
Cherish your mistakes and understand how and why they existed - so you don't make them again.
Tell the people you love that you love them - regularly, all the time.
Listen.
Don't give unsolicited advise.
Think for yourself and believe what your knowledge tells you to believe.
Don't be afraid to change your mind.
#44
Hard work is rewarded with more work.
#45
Put money in your IRA and 401k as early as you can and as much as you can.
Learn how credit works and use it to your advantage. It’s not free money but it can make free money for you.
Learn to budget.
Failure is always an option and you only really fail when you don’t learn from it.
Those who matter don’t care and those who care don’t matter.
#46
If you’re having health issues and doctors dismiss them as s**t like anxiety…keep looking for doctors who will do more tests and be curious about your symptoms. You know your body. .
#47
Ask her out.
She probably wants you to, and if she does say no, she'll do it in as nice of a way as she can. And if she doesn't, then she's a jerk and you don't want to date a jerk.
#48
As a 30+ person with a child, my advise is to take the crazy chances you have while you can. Before I had my son, I had the opportunity to go to school in Italy. I chose not to. I also had planned to move to a beach town, and again, chose not to. Do the things that might seem stupid while you're single, without kids, and have nothing to lose. Your family and friends will still be there when you get back. Be nice to your parents (if they're good ones) and try to save a little money. Have fun. I don't regret not doing any of those things, and I certainly can still move around and start over, but I now have a child to worry about as well. Do things while it's all on you and no one else.
#49
Learn a trade.
Being skilled in the ability to repair or build something that's commonly used or needed, has value in any economy.
#50
Save early, save often. I know, sounds like video game advice, right? Except it applies to financial security too. The sooner you get in the habit of saving for things, the better.
Yeah, it's great to go out and have fun, to spend your money on things that bring you enjoyment, but the sooner you start to save for retirement, save for that next car, save for a house, then the sooner you're going to have that money for those things.
On average, you should be putting 15% of your income away for retirement if you want to have a comfortable retirement. And starting that now means you won't have to try to play "catch up" later.
#51
F**k what others think. S**t really doesn’t matter and shouldn’t. Be unapologetically you.
#52
That feeling when you're 18-26 thinking you're so old and don't know what to do with your life....uhm yeah you're still young af. Trust me.
#53
Give hugs to your friends and those who are close acquaintances. Hugs and physical touch are EVERYTHING! .
#54
Have fun but not too much fun.
Most failure for teens and young adults is because they either don't have enough fun and fail to make meaningful human connection, or they have too much fun and don't put in work.
#55
Nothing is really that important and if you give in to the stress and deadlines of life, you will be miserable all your days.
#56
Don't get married and/or have kids until your 30s.
Edit:
I should add that I got married and had a kid at 20. It wasn't planned.
#57
Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.
#58
Think for yourself, don't try to keep up with the Joneses, live within your means, budget, travel,read, live healthy,be kind, listen to your body,having a child/children may not be what you thought it would be. Best Wishes 🌿💚.
#59
Social media is an a*******n with no pay off, you are actually fully wasting your life.
Edit: thanks for the gold stranger!!!
#60
Get off my lawn!
#61
Learn meditation and get over yourself. You're not that important but your actions do have consequences to others that you don't see.
Life is absurd and there is no meaning to life. But you're living anyway so make it meaningful. However, don't attach yourself to the meaning because it's impermanent as is everything in this world.
#62
Maximize your Roth IRA contributions in a low cost index fund.
#63
Lots of just common sense stuff being said, not really useful. I’ll give u some real advice:
1) don’t marry someone just cause they’re hot / cute and they have a good personality, make u laugh, etc. That’s what gets u divorced, as those are superficial reasons to marry and NOT what makes a person “good”. Go by the real characteristics…how’s their moral character? How do they treat others, including you? What’s their priorities in life? Are they kind or a jerk? Responsible or irresponsible? Whats their immediate family like, especially their parents? Dig deep into their past life before u knew them, see what’s there. Criminal past? Abuse? Lots of wild s*x? Then tread very carefully, if at all.
2) Be very careful at which jobs you take, because that’s all future employers will see you as. So you need to think long-term about which jobs u accept. Sometimes this means picking a job that pays less just to get the proper experience to catapult you into higher paying positions later on. Job market isn’t the best right now so be willing to move far, far away from your friends, family, and bf /gf in order to find a good job. Do it if need be, this is your career we’re talking about. You can always move back years later.
3) is there a point to life? Or are we just organisms on some random rock floating out in space among trillions of other rocks? We have souls, this means there’s something after death for us. So this living life is like high school, it’s short, painful, and doesn’t matter much in the long run. It’s the next one that matters cause it’s forever as a soul doesn’t ever die. We have a maker. Someone or something else besides our bio dad and moms. Most of us don’t believe that. But nobody not even the smartest scientists can neither disprove nor approve it with 100% conviction. So keep in mind that it could be true, and if it is, what does that mean for your life?
