Well, I vividly remember that, one day, the classmate next to me read my answers incorrectly. This then led to my teacher explaining in front of the whole class that “it’s actually sheep, Adelaide, not sheeps.” I was furious because I knew for a fact that is what I wrote, but the damage had been done. And I will never forget that moment.
Apparently, I’m not the only one holding onto a grudge decades later, though. Redditors have recently been recalling petty moments that they’ll never let go, so we’ve gathered their juiciest stories below. And keep reading to find a conversation with Olivia Brouillette-Wardhono, Founder, Lead Psychologist and Integrative Somatic Practitioner at Therapy With Olivia.
#1
When my parents got divorced, neither of them wanted to keep our family dog that we had for 7 years at that point. (I should clarify, there was nothing wrong with her. She was a black lab mix, healthy, was as sweet as can be). I was 14, just going into high school, and I was begging my family to keep her. My sister and her husband wouldn’t even take her. We ended up having to give her away, and I sobbed for the entire day. Shortly after, my sister and her husband got a cocker spaniel instead, after telling me they didn’t want my dog because ,”well we don’t want any dogs in the house.”
I honestly should be over it now, 10 years later. She went to a good home. But I’m not. 🤷♀️.
Image credits: AmphibianBig301
#2
In 5th grade our teacher only gave homework on Wednesdays. One Wednesday the end-of-school bell was going to ring soon and we all realized the teacher had forgotten. With maybe 30 seconds left before the bell would free us, a twatty suck-up girl named Sabina raised her hand and reminded the teacher it was homework day. I'm still pissed off about it. F**k you, Sabina for denying us our small victory. I'm 68-years old, btw, and it still chaps my a*s.
Image credits: expandandincludeit
#3
I had a barbecue for friends. Whilst inside preparing a feast, my friend’s children picked off all my green baby passion fruit, and unripe baby lemons, to throw at each other. Literally 100s of fruit wasted. When I came outside and nearly cried and told the kids off, their parents told me they were only playing, and just children, and to get over it. I am still not over it. They weren’t great friends or parents in hindsight.
Image credits: GypsyInAHotMessDress
To learn more about the grudges that people manage to cling onto for years, we reached out to Olivia Brouillette-Wardhono, Founder, Lead Psychologist and Integrative Somatic Practitioner at Therapy With Olivia. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how healthy it is to hold onto anger like this.
"When we're talking about grudges, I think it can be good to start with what a grudge actually is and how serious of a grudge you are holding onto," Olivia shared. "For example, the first comment I saw from this post was about a friend eating both hashbrowns while going to ski hungover. In a situation like this, how serious is that grudge really? Are they still friends and hang out? Is it something that comes up in good humor?"
#4
During the pandemic I used to collect clothes and goods for the trash men where i used to life. I would leave them in the street anonymously and classified for them to take like clothes, toys, food, etc. would always try to make it every two weeks or so.
One day i was walking my dog (he is big but super gentle and chill) and one of them just looked at my dog and asked me if he was a good boy and i said yes thinking he was going to pet him or something, he proceeded to try and slap and kick him and laughed. Obviously i blocked him from getting to my dog and started screaming at him, the other guys just laughed. My dog was crying and my neighbours saw all of this and told them off.
Three weeks passed and they started asking around the block about the things someone used to leave for them to collect since they would be much help for them and they haven't seen anything for them in a while. I was just walking out of my building and over heard them asking my concierge, so i said "It was me, i collected that for you guys, it stopped the second you tried to assault my dog and thought it was funny", they looked like their eyes where about to leave their socket. They apologised, i said nothing so they went with "look, it's just an animal we have kids we need those things" so i said "It took me about a week to collect and clean things for you guys each time i left them there, i did it anonymously because i was always taught that charity with a name it's called vanity. You should always be respectful and treat people well not only when is convenient to you also don't ever feel entitled to people's kindness." Turns out i was the only one who did this in the whole county we where in. My neighbours all saw what happened so they refused to give them anything as well.
I never collected anything for them ever again.
#5
Cracker Jack removed the cool toy and replaced it with some s****y piece of paper.
Image credits: Firree
#6
My best friend and I were going skiing post a night out. Hungover we decided to get McDonald's breakfast. Both got a combo and he ordered an extra hashbrown as well. The bag only came with 2 hash browns. He ate both and said they forgot mine. NO MAX THEY FORGOT YOUR EXTRA HASHBROWN. ITS BEEN 7 YEARS AND I STILL GET MAD ABOUT IT.
Image credits: terribletoiny2
"If it's a good humor 'grudge' that all parties are aware of, are a part of, and agree are funny/silly, then a grudge can, in theory, benefit those relationships," the therapist explained. "It can show that you and your friends are on the same page, share similar senses of humor, and can make light of potentially difficult situations. However, when this is not the case (and most times it's not), grudges usually end up being more harmful and have little to no benefits in the long run."
#7
The year was 2004. I had a kyocera phantom phone with a long standing game of tetris because the speed had capped out. We're talking somewhere around two years. I had a score in the bazillions (probably). While out to lunch, a friend picked up my phone and started a new game. Later she f****d my husband. I'm still mad about the tetris game.
Image credits: According_Mud9508
#8
High school - Sophomore year:
My Literature teacher has us make comics based on ancient Greek poems. My group got Iliad. We put a lot of research and effort in the assignment, only to lose points because the teacher was expecting to see the Trojan Horse (which does not appear in Iliad, but in Odyssey and Aeneid).
Sure, I took the synopsis out of Wikipedia, but it was properly sourced. I even did check the original poem to see if the horse is there - nothing.
Turns out my teacher was basing his view on Iliad on a stupid novelization that included the goddamn horse.
Oh, and this very same teacher is one to fall hook, line & sinker into whatever b******t people share on Facebook, and still has no qualms about question Wikipedia.
F**k you, José. F**k you very very much.
Image credits: Major-Invite-9517
#9
Look this didn't even happen to me but my mom told me about a thanksgiving where her aunt took the crispy skin off the turkey and threw it in the trash because it's not healthy for you. I already didn't like this aunt but now 😤.
Image credits: QuiteLady1993
"A grudge can offer some beneficial ideas to us, such as signaling when we've been wrong, why that's happened; maybe a grudge even helps you reflect on your relationships and whether or not they're healthy for you to be in," Olivia noted. "It can also give us a sense of identity, a sense of purpose -- someone wronged you, you know they were wrong, you are rightfully angry, therefore you are just in your feelings and gives you purpose."
But holding onto a grudge isn't always productive. "It's when the grudges go on for a prolonged period of time, where you are the only one feeling the sense of 'wronged' or anger that you lose the healthy parts and begin to, essentially, torment yourself while the other person continues on blissfully unaware of your feelings," Olivia explained. "Any emotion up to a certain point is healthy and beneficial to you, but when you do not act on the emotion and only allow it to consume you, you miss the point of the emotion altogether."
#10
Everytime around Christmas and someone mentions The Polar Express, I get reminded of the time a boy copied my art work in 2nd grade. We were to draw our favorite scene from Polar Express in art class, and the teacher was giving a present to the one she thought was best. He won, and I got a "talking too" about copying other people's work, even though he copied me!!
Image credits: DiscoLibra
#11
My mom’s fully fluent in Spanish and stopped teaching me because my dad kept bugging her about how I didn’t need it. In all honesty I think it was him just trying to be petty and didn’t want his ex wife AND daughter being bilingual while he wasn’t
Image credits: coldcactus1205
#12
On my third birthday, I was gifted a tricycle. My then-8-year-old cousin rode it before I could and broke it before I even got a turn. I refused to acknowledge his name for like 5+ years after that. I would ONLY call him "the guy that broke my tricycle".
Image credits: am_i_boy
"Any negative emotion that is held onto for an extended period of time can be harmful, and holding onto a grudge is no different," Olivia shared. "When we hold onto a grudge for a prolonged period of time and make it part of our identity, we create a wall around ourselves from the kindness of others, especially the person (or people) who wronged you."
#13
I was in the single board game shop in my town with my friends and one of my friends leaned on a shelf and broke it. I caught the shelf saving the majority of items on it and everyone, including the guy that broke it, said I had knocked the shelf over. Three expensive hardcover DND books were **slightly** damaged (I’m talking the corner was a little bit bent) and the store made ME pay for them. They were like $60 each. I’m still holding a grudge 6 years later.
Image credits: LightspeedC83
#14
5 years ago I went to the local butcher’s shop for ground beef. The sign said $8.99 lb, which seemed a bit high. I asked the person behind the counter how much their ground beef was. Their reply “read the sign”. I said “ I see the sign, but $8.99 for a pound of ground beef seems a bit steep. I just wanted to make sure that was the actual price. They replied again, “read the sign.” I’ve never stepped foot in that butcher shop again and have been driving an extra 25 min to a different butcher shop ever since.
#15
My mom grew up in Germany. Speaks fluent German. She would speak German with her parents when we were little kids just so we wouldn’t understand. She refused to teach my brother and I how to speak it. Her excuse was we didn’t want to learn. As babies. You know. When you start speaking to your kids. It’s been over 40 years now and I’m still bitter about it. Because German is so damn hard to learn as an adult. Edited to add - maybe not petty per se. But something I’m mad about all these years later.
Image credits: PineappleAndCoconut
"We can easily become consumed by our own hurt and pain that we can end up pushing people away and isolating ourselves," the therapist noted. "In fact, the longer we hold onto the grudge and the anger, we end up feeding our anger even more, becoming angrier and angrier, pushing people away, refusing to accept what's happened and move forward, and we can even morph what happened into a larger wrong that is completely unforgivable, when it may in fact be not having a hashbrown that you were excited about."
"Basically, the longer you hold onto a grudge, the angrier you will become, the less trusting of others you may feel, and all of that can create a perfect storm for loneliness and isolation," Olivia warns.
#16
My sister lied to my parents saying I ate the last two cookies and I got in trouble for “lying” to them. This happened when I was 7…..I’m 28 now…and I still tell her and my parents every chance I get that I’m still mad about that. 😂😂.
Image credits: FizzlePop13
#17
I went to Florida in 5th grade and got a deck of playing cards from delta. I brought them to school to show my friends and they disappeared from my desk at lunch. I looked evrywhere, asked all my friends, etc. Two weeks later the teacher is playing a math probability game and she hands out playing cards to everyone. wouldn't you know it she had my delta playing cards. I was salty then and still am. I still remember your a filthy thief mrs. Smith.
It was 40 years ago.
#18
My wife when she was 18 (20+ years ago) had met a band at a concert and had asked them for a picture and a hug. And the lead singer responded
"We only hug pretty girls sorry".
He has been on my "on sight" list ever since I heard about it a decade ago. Especially since when she saw them, they were barely on anyone's radar and now they're pretty common knowledge.
Edit: Apparently the common question is who so...Theory Of A Deadman. I'm sure he's matured alot, but I'm not dropping the grudge.
Edit 2: well that's a lot of support! Thanks guys.
Image credits: anon
When it comes to letting go of a grudge, Olivia says the first step is validating your emotions and understanding the why. "First and foremost, you are allowed to feel however you feel. You are allowed to be hurt and angry when someone does something to cause you pain," she noted. "Try your best to validate your emotions and allow them space to come up and out, then start asking yourself why. Why are you feeling so wronged? What did this other person do to cause this much pain? Why is that so hurtful for you?"
#19
Rented a house that had an outdoor mini fridge by the built in bbq. Our utilities bills were outrageous in that house. Roommates, including my boyfriend, refused to unplug this fridge- that no one even used! "That's not whats making our bills so high". They mocked me for being so dumb!
Now the same man literally researches the lowest energy lightbulbs because "Every little thing adds up".
Every little thing, but not that outdoor fridge that sat in direct sunlight in the scorching summer, huh? Not that appliance?
I will DIE with this grudge in my heart.
#20
Back in the mid sixties, I somehow wound up at a school where I was the only POC. We were playing softball. I was just learning how to play,and was about nine years old.
There was a play at second base that was being disputed, whether the runner was safe or out. Of course, the guys on my team were saying out, the runner and the guys on the other team were saying he was safe.
So I quietly said that I thought he was out. Then a guy that was *on my team* said, " Nobody cares what you think. And nobody wants you here."
That was close to sixty years ago. I still remember that kid's name and can still hear him saying that .
#21
My brother always beat me at everything. Our parents got us Super Nintendo and I beat Mario before he did. Oh my god, he lost his s**t. My Dad could not stop laughing and when my brother would get a big head about games, my dad would remind him of the meltdown on New Years Day.
Image credits: Wackydetective
"Once you understand your response, you can shift the focus on letting go or even forgiving the person (but consider what forgiveness means for you)," Olivia continued. "If you're not able to have a conversation with them, this can look like writing a closure letter addressed to them that's just for your emotional release; or if you can talk to the person, maybe you have an open and honest conversation about what happened and how it made you feel."
#22
My brothers got to sit in my barbie blow up chair before me as a kid, and then it popped almost immediately. Still hurts. .
Image credits: itsyaboisknnypen1s
#23
15 years ago I had a pair of Sony headphones die. The Sony store wouldn’t give me any warranty because I bought them from a Sony store in another country. They quoted me almost the same cost of a new pair to repair them. Haven’t bought anything Sony since.
Image credits: thether
#24
My SIL got married and had sooooo much sushi leftover from the party. I told her "I can't wait to munch on some sushi later!". The husband threw it away. ALL OF IT. I am thinking of getting a sushi tattooed with the date under because of that.
Image credits: Birna77
"If you're having a conversation with the person, be sure to keep with the 'I' statements [When you did/said x, I felt y] as it keeps the focus on you and helps prevent as much defensiveness as possible from the other person," the therapist suggests. "Depending on how the conversation goes, and assuming you want to let go of this grudge and move forward with the relationship, consider replacing the grudge with a boundary."
"If the grudge is related to a comment someone made about your appearance, the boundary can be that you do not need to hear their opinions on your appearance; if the grudge is related to how an ex treated you, move forward with a boundary that protects you from that happening again (i.e. hiding messages from someone, maybe your new boundary is open and honest communication with a new partner)," Olivia explained.
#25
When I was a kid and my cousin’s son was a toddler, he got into my Ninja Turtles action figures and chewed on their weapons.
It’s been at least 30 years. He lives in another country so I’ve only seen him once since. I will always remember him as the little bastard who ruined my Ninja Turtles.
Image credits: apathetic_revolution
#26
20 years ago DirecTV charged me a cancellation fee when my military tour ended and I had to move. Wouldn't waive it. Never went back, never will.
#27
A girl in middle school having been convinced for a full 6 years that I drew on two fake moles under my left eye, every day from age 10-16, until one day she saw me during swimclass and went “omg they’re real?”
Turns out she had been talking a little s**t about me and some other girls, cause she thought i was trying to be “unique” inspired by anime and markings some characters have.
I cannot let go of how little of a life she must’ve had, and yes I still tell people that stupid a*s story, and yes, I make fun of her for it behind her back for it. (We’re not friends).
Finally, the therapist noted that a grudge isn't necessarily an immediate negative thing. "What matters most is how you respond to it and move forward from it," Olivia says. "Forgiveness for the wrong does not mean condoning or approving what happened to you, forgiveness is about you and letting go for your own wellbeing."
#28
Okay so 9-11 grade I had one Latin teacher. I started off with a C freshman year (in a class w mostly sophomores) and worked up to be the one everyone called to double check their translations. Senior year we got a new teacher. I was in a 3 person class of the people who’d stuck it out since we were freshmen in the sophomore class, and the new Latin teacher awarded the annual Latin seat to a senior a level below me. I AM TOTALLY FINE ITS BEEN 18 YEARS IM FINE.
Image credits: pamplemouss
#29
I'm still pissed they took honey mustard off the sauce menu at McDonald's in Canada about 9 years ago.
Image credits: beawhisktaker
#30
Not me but my brother. He still blames me for deleting his saved game on Secret of Mana.
This is b******t, I did not delete it. I did not.
Image credits: SunshineShimmerOX
