We all love a good mazz. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or to be kept secret — it’s completely natural. However, there’s a difference between openly talking about self-pleasure and using a monstrously loud vibrator when you feel like going to town. Your whole house probably doesn’t want to hear you leaving the station, or arriving, either, if you catch my drift. So, opting for a quiet vibrator when you live in a shared household is the way to go.
Thankfully, we’ve come a long way in the world of sex toys and self-pleasure, so there’s an abundance of vibrators that not only do the job (often in rapid time), but are discreet about it, too.
From cutesy bullet and palm vibrators to dual vibrators, these bad boys are quiet… but you might not be.
Keep reading to discover 13 of the best quiet sex toys for your next secret rendezvous.
13 Quiet Sex Toys That Won’t Alert Your Housemates Of Your X-Rated Activities
Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
Suction clit vibrators are great because they often don’t make much noise. The Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator combines a gentle suction with pulsating waves to stimulate your clit, mimicking oral sex. It’s waterproof, so you can bring it into the shower, too.
Image: Lovehoney.
Fifty Shades of Grey Black Rose Silicone Clitoral Suction Stimulator
Hey, if it’s fit to be part of Fifty Shades Of Grey’s Official Pleasure Collection, then it’s good enough for me. This clitoral suction vibrator is small, unintimidating, and if you close your eyes, you can imagine Christian Grey is doing all the work.
Image: Lovehoney.
Share Satisfaction Mini Wand
Wants make for great foreplay, but they’re often big and loud. That’s where Share Satifaction’s Mini Wand comes in. It’s cute and smol, nothing like those mega wands you’re bound to have seen in 90s or early 2000s films.
Image: Adulttoymegastore.
Winyi Zoe Whisper-Quiet Clitoral Vibrator
This palm vibrator from Winyi is shaped like a tongue, and is equipped with curves that fit your body’s contours in all the right ways. It has 10 different quiet-yet-powerful settings, and can be used for external stimulation not just downstairs, but on your erogenous zones, too.
Image: JouJou.
Vush Swish Compact Dual Tip Vibrator
You ever wish you could just use the ears on your rabbit vibrator? Yeah, now you can. Vush has made a discreet dual tip vibrator that’s literally designed for being a pocket-sized quiet achiever. Its arms are bendable, so you can move them to hit the spot justtttt right.
Image: Vush.
Share Satisfaction Aalto
This is the master of quiet toys that pack a punch. It’s a dual stimulation vibrator, so it hits your G-spot and clit at the same time, with 10 different vibration modes, five suction modes and five tapping modes for you to experiment with.
Image: Adulttoymegastore.
Lovehoney Pocket Pal Clitoral Suction Stimulator
This may be the cutest vibrator I’ve ever seen. Its pocket-friendly nature means you can bring it along with you on your adventures to wherever you wind up. But don’t underestimate its power from its petite size, this baby sure knows how to deliver an orgasm.
Image: Lovehoney.
Normal Plum
She’s quiet, and she’s quick. I’ve been obsessed with Plum since the moment I got my hands on it. Feel free to read my glowing review, or just take my word for it and order this bad boy now.
Image: Normal.
Biird Namii
More people need to know about sexual wellness brand, Biird, and specifically its toy Namii. This is a two-in-one clitoral and eternal vibrator, and it covers the base of the vulva for a pretty darn good mazz sesh. The two different stimulation points can be used separately if you’re only vibing one of them, or together, if you’d like a blended orgasm.
Image: Biird.
We-Vibe Tango X Lipstick Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator
There’ll be none of that pointy, borderline painful bullet vibrator nonsense here! This little vibrator is has a slanted edge, like a lipstick, so you can play around with the flat edge or point, depending on what you fancy. There’s eight intensity levels, so you can go from a whisper of a vibration to practically mazzin’ your bits off.
Image: Lovehoney.
Vush Shine Compact G-Spot Vibrator
The Vush Shine Compact G-Spot Vibrator is designed for travel, meaning it’s compact, quiet, and perfect for those situations where you’re getting hot and heavy but need to be discreet
Image: Vush.
Normal Cheek
After a beginner-friendly quiet vibrator that’s non-intimidating, small and inconspicuous? Cheek is your answer. It’s designed for external stimulation, fits into the palm of your hand, and is a gorgy shade of lilac. Obsessed!
Image: Normal.
Girls Get Off DeeDee
Girls Get Off’s DeeDee is as close to the real deal as you’re gonna get… if not better. It’s not just any rabbit vibrator — it’s a thrusting one! Simply hold it in place and go to town until the cows come home.
Image: Girls Get Off.
Go forth on your sexscapades with your new quiet vibrator, my friend!
Image credit: Sex Education / @loveatms
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