First dates are a unique mix of excitement and anxiety. They hold the promise of a new connection, but also the potential for awkwardness and misunderstanding. In an effort to navigate this uncertainty, we often rely on assumptions to fill in the gaps. We project our own hopes, fears, and expectations onto a near-stranger. However, the one thing you should never do is assume about a first date. These preconceived notions can prevent you from seeing the person who is actually in front of you, sabotaging a potential connection before it even begins.
That They Want a Serious Relationship
Just because someone agreed to a date doesn’t mean they are auditioning for a life partner. They might be looking for something casual, testing the waters after a breakup, or simply hoping to meet a new person and have a nice evening. Assuming long-term intentions puts immense pressure on a single meeting. Go in with the goal of getting to know them, not planning your future.
That Their Online Profile Is 100% Accurate
An online dating profile is a marketing tool. People naturally highlight their best qualities, choose the most flattering photos, and may even fudge a few details like their height or age. Expect the person you meet to be a real, complex human, not the polished version from their profile. Be prepared for slight discrepancies and focus on the person, not the profile.
That They’ll Pay (or That You Should)
Traditional gender roles are evolving and so are dating norms. Never assume who will pick up the check. A man shouldn’t assume he has to pay, and a woman shouldn’t assume her meal will be covered. The safest and most respectful approach is to assume you will pay for yourself. This prevents awkwardness and shows that you are independent and considerate.
That a “Yes” to the Date Means “Yes” to Anything Else
This is a critical point of consent and respect. Agreeing to meet for coffee or dinner means exactly that and nothing more. It is not an invitation for physical intimacy, a second date, or ongoing communication. Each step in getting to know someone requires its own clear and enthusiastic consent. Pushing for more based on the initial “yes” is a major red flag.
That They Share Your Political or Religious Views
Unless you met on a niche app or specifically discussed these topics beforehand, it’s unwise to assume you are aligned on major life values. These are deeply personal subjects. Bringing them up with strong assumptions can quickly lead to conflict. It’s better to listen, ask open-ended questions, and discover their views organically if and when the conversation goes there.
That They’re an Open Book
Some people are naturally reserved or shy, especially when meeting someone new. Don’t mistake quietness for disinterest or secrecy. They may need time to warm up and feel comfortable sharing personal details. Prying with intensely personal questions too early can make them retreat further. Let the conversation flow at a comfortable pace.
That Silence Is Always Awkward
In a culture that values constant chatter, a pause in conversation can feel like a failure. But it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes a moment of silence is just that—a moment to think, look around, or simply breathe. If you rush to fill every gap with noise, you miss the chance to just be comfortable with another person. A shared, comfortable silence can be a sign of chemistry.
That They’re Not Nervous Too
No matter how cool, calm, and collected your date appears, it’s highly likely they are just as nervous as you are. First dates are inherently nerve-wracking for almost everyone. Remembering this can help you feel more at ease and be more forgiving of any perceived awkwardness on their part. It puts you both on equal footing.
That a Good Date Guarantees a Second One
You laughed, the conversation flowed, and you felt a real spark. That’s fantastic, but it’s not a contract for a second date. The other person may have enjoyed the evening but not felt the same level of romantic connection. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Enjoy the date for what it is—a single, enjoyable experience—and let the future unfold naturally.
That a Bad Date Is a Waste of Time
So the conversation was stilted, there was no chemistry, and you couldn’t wait for it to end. It’s easy to label that a waste of an evening. However, every date, good or bad, is a learning experience. You learn more about what you want, what you don’t want, and how you present yourself to others. It’s all valuable information for your dating journey.
Embracing the Unknown of a First Encounter
The best way to approach a first date is with curiosity, not expectations. When you release the need to assume about a first date, you open yourself up to a more authentic and enjoyable experience. You give the other person the space to be themselves and give yourself the chance to discover who that person truly is.
What’s the biggest misconception you’ve had about someone on a first date?
Read more:
The Top 5 First Date Deal-Breakers for Women
10 Comments That Instantly Kill a First Date
The post 10 Things You Should Never Assume About a First Date appeared first on Budget and the Bees.
